Saturday, December 6, 2008

EPL Open Thread: It's Big 4 incompetence day!


Saturday, Sunday, happy days, win some trophies, happy days, become crap gaffers, happy days
happy days, oh what a day, losing all week for yoooooou


Well well, we're up late again, although the thought of being on the end of a Vinnie Jones Glasgow Kiss (see below for that gem) would keep me up all night. I'd be petrified!

We decided to skip the early game (we all know it'll end in a draw anyway) and begin our open thread journey at the beginning: 10am. The slate today promises action from all the Big 4, and the tension is killing me: I cannot wait to see who screws up today! Will it be Rafa? Will Scolari's men fail to crack the resurgent Stupid F*cking Bolton? Will Fergie see another precocious player red-carded and spend the next 7 days in media spin heaven? Will Arsenal drop more points at home?

(All signs point to that last one, btw)

Oh, and don't forget to pour one out yet again for Roy Keane. Poor lad. Ince thinks it's a conspiracy because they were good when they were players. I say they're just crap managers. What do you lot think?

So join us after the jump for the fixture list and some comments. Keep 'em clean (unless they're about Phil or Gary Neville; I f*cking hate those two.)

10am kick-offs:
-
Arsenal v Wigan
Blackburn v Liverpool
Bolton v Chelsea
Hull v Middlesbrough
Newcastle v Stoke

12.30pm kick-off:
-
Man Utd v Sunderland

128 comments:

The NY Kid said...

All signs point to that last one, btw

Why can't you be nice?

Sarah said...

Come on, we're playing against Titus Bramble. There's no way we can screw this one up.

Right?

The NY Kid said...

ADE!

Mike Georger said...

takes a lot of incompetence to make blackburn look like a solid defensive team, but damnit thats just how much pluck liverpool have

christ

The NY Kid said...

keep us updated Georger - we're watching the Gunners.

Mike Georger said...

yossi just had a great chance 1v1 but warncock made a great tackle from behind in the box at the last second

then babel had a mardonaesque handball off the ensuing corner and got booked

no shots on goal yet. woo!

Sarah said...

My stream just disappeared. Stupid copyrights.

The NY Kid said...

Good Lord! Palacios just scythed Nasri for a yellow.

@Sarah - no FSC?

Mike Georger said...

wow what a goal by deco

liverpool have zero creativity. just ping it around the back four then have reina launch a long ball to babel that he kicks out for a touch line.

just. not. that. good.

sven said...

FUCK, MGP got a hold of that one....

And Arbeloa's crossing has been for shit.

But, it'll come. It HAS to.

Mike Georger said...

blackburn ought to be up

HORRIBLY sloppy pass by gerrard picked off by pederass, who cracks one from thirty out that pepe tips and goes off the crossbar. great shot, better save.

never had three successive goalless draws, but how theyre playing theyre going to lose so thats a pointless stat

The NY Kid said...

and now Eboue on for Nasri - guess the Palacios tackle was as bad as it looks.

@sven - I read that as "MPG", and wondered why Mark-Paul Gosselaar was playing for Liverpool.

Sarah said...

Nope, my apartment at school comes with like 300 channels but no FSC. It's pretty ridiculous. But I'm only here for another week.

And crisis averted, found it on Sopcast.

Mike Georger said...

oh my GOD this team is terrible

Mike Georger said...

worse than liverpool, and right now thats saying much, are these announcers. pederson's chance was arguably the best chance of the game? its the only fucking shot on net by either side you douchebag

The NY Kid said...

and by Liverpool, I meant Blackburn, because that is who Pederson plays for.

I am, of course, a douche.

Mike Georger said...

another good chance by pederson forcing pepe into a sprawling save.

blackburn are the better team by far right now.

unfathomably bad performance

Mike Georger said...

its saturday. its a shit performance. its rafa out!

Mike Georger said...

theres a red card coming in this match no doubt

Andrew said...

I'm late to the show. Good to see Ade get some. How do the Gunners look today? What's Nasri's injury?

The NY Kid said...

@Andrew - Gunners have looked average so far, a mix of long ball and true Arsenal footy. Nasri went down hard in a nasty tackle from behind from Palacios (took his ankle from behind) and then played the next few minutes before needing a sub from Eboue.

Mike Georger said...

zero fucking shots on target against blackburn? terrible defense and terrible keeper but you cant get one fucking shot on net?

absolutely pathetic performance by everyone in the midfield thus far

i swear to god this 'theyre still not playing at their best' crap is wrong, they are playing at their best, and they suck

sven said...

Shocking how much less dangerous Babel is on the right side. I actually miss Kuyt on the wing... funny how he's made the role his own with his solid play.

I wouldn't mind seeing Babel and Kuyt swap to start the half... After that, it may be time to head to bench for the likes of Keane, Reira and maybe even El Zhar.

Mike Georger said...

i never though id say this but you know who might help in this game? pennant.

you know, because hes the only actual right winger on the books at anfield.

i mean you have kuyt playing as a striker when hes really a winger that used to be a striker

yossi playing as a winger but hes a central attacking player who cant play out wide

and a striker playing the wing where he is clearly uncomfortable



every year rafa bitches about not having width yet he only has two wingers on the entire squad. at this point i would expect adam hammill to get recalled next month

Daniel said...

All signs point to Arsenal F'ing rocking the house!

Andrew said...

Georger, I'd like to hear your views on Sarah Palin. They can't be more vitriolic than your views on Pool.

Mike Georger said...

if her face were on fire i wouldnt give her a facial to put out the flames


its just infuriating. this is the same liverpool of the last few years, arguably worse, its not even good enough to be at the level of 'wasting chances' theyre stuck at 'creating no chances'

Mike Georger said...

i just want to go back to bed. im sick and im tired and i cant deal with this crap anymore.

Mike Georger said...

keane warming up. given rafa's substitution policy hes coming on for reina.

Andrew said...

Gunners knocking it around amongst themselves - its like they don't even care that there's another team on the field that are trying to beat them.

Mike Georger said...

nice buildup. look at little insua creating chances! see that dossena you fucking useless greaseball?

nice dive by warnock

Spectator said...

Okay, I'm ready for Arsenal to score a second and put this game away. Cmon you Gunners!

Andrew said...

RVP almost makes it 2-nil, left footed shot goes barely wide. Toure took down some Wigan player in the box, but the ref looks the other way. It looked like a PK.

Mike Georger said...

second goal? greedy bastards

bad game from gerrard. very heavy foot today.

Mike Georger said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOW DO YOU NOT SCORE THERE

Mike Georger said...

wait we're supposed to keep it clean?

sven said...

This would be a different game if Paul Robinson were wearing an England shirt.

Andrew said...

Georger I thought you were going to bed.

Stoke apparently making a small run against Toon. Owen with the double; I think he's on the move come January.

Mike Georger said...

and the time wasting begins. if someone is injured on the sideline, take them off the fucking pitch and continue the damn game. jesus.

Mike Georger said...

i made the mistake of taking the wrong robitussin when i woke up, took the nighttime one, im struggling right now.

arbeloa is just dying to give up a penalty today

Andrew said...

Someboy from Wigan just got a card . . . Figueroa? The stream is blurry. Excellent chance for Gunners right outside the 18 . . .

Andrew said...

. . . and Robin of Persie sprays it wide.

Gunners on counter . . . long shot off the post from Denilson . . . wonderful shot and it bounced off the inside of the post. Fuckin' post.

jjf3 said...

shit...beautiful dive by Robbo over the goal-bound ball

sven said...

You glorious bastard.

Mike Georger said...

wow. well it came from xabi and man oh man oh man did robinson read that wrong.

Andrew said...

Quick question: are there actually any Wigan supporters? I've never met one. Do they even exist? Wigan reminds me KC Royals; they're in the league, but who really cares?

Mike Georger said...

completely different team the past ten minutes or so, it is like they flipped a switch.

damned if im taking back that criticism though, they ought to be playing like this most of the time.

to blackburns credit theyre still trying to get one

Sarah said...

@Andrew: I don't know any. I do know a couple of Royals fans though.

Sarah said...

It would be nice if one of these attempts actually went in soon.

Spectator said...

My friend started following Wigan after their good run a few seasons ago. So that's, uh, one. I find them kind of endearing too though. They've done well for being located in a small town that cares more for rugby than footy.

Okay, I'm still ready for Arsenal to put this game away. The longer this drags out, the longer I fear a last minute Zaki goal.

Mike Georger said...

@andrew: i honest to god didnt know wigan was an actual place until this year, i always just thought it was just the name of the team

Andrew said...

Jesus, Gunners have had four good opportunities in the past five minutes. 0/4

I like how Ade is playing; he can be a beast when he wants to.

Andrew said...

This is getting nervy.

The stream I'm watching is pretty damn reliable. Funny how I have to go to site based in Baghdad to watch Arsenal.

jjf3 said...

I miss Brad Friedel...

Mike Georger said...

well that settles that. attaboy yossi.

Andrew said...

STOP PLAYING WITH THE BALL IN THE BOX. FUCKING SHOOT IT. IT'S NOT CUTE.

sven said...

Quality finish by Yossi. After such a solid game, Warnock gets used.

Andrew, Elon eh? My little brother played football there a few years ago.

Mike Georger said...

the fightin christians!

Spectator said...

Ince is now officially on life support.

Mike Georger said...

oh good god shirtless chubby scousers. oh the humanity

Andrew said...

@ Sven: oh yeah? good stuff. he play under coach seagraves? that dude was nuts.

sven said...

"I never could understand fans taking their shirts off!"

Copious amount of alcohol, my commentator friend.

Andrew said...

I was a freshman the year after they changed mascots to the Phoenix, but there was still an "unofficial" mascot of a Pastor with a blunderbuss musket.

Mike Georger said...

i feel bad for ince, if he gets fired after this result that is. they were unlucky to not have the lead and they largely outplayed the league leaders.

then again its hard to feel sorry for anyone who willingly signs paul robinson

FUCK

Andrew said...

Rovers scrapping for the points, I see.

Wigan is hanging around.

Andrew said...

Hey, Eboue, give the ball away in midfield again, please.

Spectator said...

Eboue sure is having a shit game.

Meanwhile in the Bundesliga, Bayern is up 2-1 over Hoffenheim, but Ibisevic scored another goal.

Andrew said...

Thank you for hearing my request, Emmanuel. So thoughtful.

Cesc made a nice run into the area, tried to shoot, then realized he didn't have the ball.

The NY Kid said...

poor Eboue - gets booed off the pitch for Silvestre.

and this is a horrible end to the match for the Gunners

Mike Georger said...

not to crap on your parade spectator but that bayern game was yesterday.

Spectator said...

Ha I just realized that. Oh well... that's what I get for turning away from the Arsenal game to see what else is going on in the world.

Mike Georger said...

ill give you hoffenheim +300 to win

the rare empty netter!

The NY Kid said...

thank sweet baby Jesus this match is over.

/snack run, then Black Cats-ManPoo.

Sarah said...

Well that was nerve wracking.

sven said...

Heads-up play by Reira to calmly pass to Gerrard for the finish.

"Everybody is chasing Liverpool..."

God, that sounds beautiful.

Andrew, my brother was there from roughly '98-'01ish... So methinks he was there for the name change... at least I seem to remember it.

Andrew said...

There we are. A workmanlike win. Get the points at home, stay in contention.

@ Spectator: Eboue was shit. He begun a number of Wigan counters through his poor ball control.

Mike Georger said...

pretty sure phil collins is an in studio commentator for espn phillipines

ugly ugly ugly game but of course CLICHE ALERT you have to win ugly to win the title

getting three goals is important though, confidence boost hopefully. cant play like they did the first 55 minutes or so

jjf3 said...

Blackburn: A Confederacy of Pauls

Andrew said...

@ Sarah: I agree. My nerves were being wracked.

@ Sven: I was there from 00-04, and few people liked the change.

Would it be possible for Gunners to win easily in the league? I'd kill for a 4-0 or 5-0.

Andrew said...

Stoke at the death! Only a point for you, Toon.

jjf3 said...

I'm off to the bar to drink heavily and try to forget that I'm a Rovers fan while watching ManUre-Cats...

Andrew said...

Now if Florida can win, my weekend will be set.

Sarah said...

Ohfuck. I forgot about the other football. I had planned to spend all afternoon in the library writing a paper, but clearly that's not possible with the ACC Championship game on in 45 minutes.

Mike Georger said...

anyone got a stream for the app state / richmond game?

Mike Georger said...

four goals in the midweek gets you a bench spot? welp looks like saf is crouching his best striker. good for everyone else!

JT said...

Georger: three more unconvincing points, but still three points! Seriously, we do look less threatening without Torres, but credit our lads for still finding a way to get it done against a Blackburn team that was clearly up for it. They were playing for Ince's job today, tackling in pairs and fighting for everything. We did well to get a win today, regardless of the rather dull 65 minutes to open the match.

Mike Georger said...

"three more unconvincing points, but still three points"

yep.
last third of the game was very encouraging and given the choice of starting the game that way or finishing it that way id take the latter for the sake of momentum.

JT said...

Re: Tevez
the only thing he's done wrong was being bought before ManU were squeezed publicly for Berbatov right at the transfer deadline. Regardless of form, they have to play Dimitar because they made such a fuss about wanting to buy him in the summer.

Poor Carlos. I hope he makes Real Madrid very happy

Mike Georger said...

you know who i think he would fit in well with? inter. tevez would rape serie a like oh so many christmas parties.

Precious Roy said...

Fucking I just realized that Sunderland is playing United. Can the FA order someone to kick Keane in the balls for just handing his old boss three points? Chicken fucker.

Precious Roy said...

Ah... Mike you're going to leave us for the Facebook'ed Deadspin?

Mike Georger said...

nah, just thought id share the answer on that question; i was wondering the same thing but the bbc explained it. i honestly had no idea you could do serve those bans in the cup.

im not nearly funny enough for that group and im pretty sure id get thrown to the wolves rather quickly; but man theres some serious arman tanzarian shit going on over there right now

The NY Kid said...

The carnage at Deadspin right now is truly sad. Somewhere, Will Leitch weeps.

Mike Georger said...

id really like to argue the contention over there that all of liverpool's goals were ugly. since when is skinning a defender and blasting past the keeper ugly?

but im pretty sure doctor wandering bear will take care of that in no time

Mike Georger said...

"Before this game, the last caretaker manager to bring a team to Old Trafford was Nigel Pearson. The first-half score-line was 0-0. The second-half scoreline was 6-0."

bodes well for sunderland

Precious Roy said...

I'm guessing 'Arman Tanzarian shit' is some reference to people using their real names?

Mike Georger said...

no, simpsons reference. principal skinner being a fraud and getting run out of town; but the episode was about a group of people who like things the way they are freaking out when their world is disrupted. simpsons fans hated the episode, not realizing it was a metaphor for themselves.

Precious Roy said...

Right... I got the Simpson's reference that Tanzarian was Skinner's real name. Didn't realize you were going quite so deep with the metaphor, but instead were merely going with the "my how things change when people's real names are exposed."

Spectator said...

Okay, I'm curious how it's going to work with Rooney, Berbatov and Tevez on at the same time.

And right on cue Teletubby is writhing around in pain on the pitch.

Mike Georger said...

well when you listen to simpsons commentaries as frequently as i do, these things come naturally.

though everyone's real names being exposed would be a shit show. why anyone would get on there and do the 'FIRST!!!!!!!!!' is beyond me. that kind of stuff is retarded from anyone let alone when youre bumrushing a community. i definitely get the close knitness of internet communities, i just like talking about soccer

Andrew said...

So NOW Sunderland decides to play for Keane's job . . . ?

Precious Roy said...

Having to get approved to comment on DS did make it feel like an accomplishment and it was a good club of exceptionally funny and smart people for a while, but at some point it got a bit elitist. Like "who are you, new commenter? You can't be funnier than we are because you weren't here already."

Plenty of people funnier than I probably never got approved.

Guess we've been pretty fortunate. We don't have any filter but we don't have a ton of people who comment. The ones who do usually can spell (i.e. 'you're' or 'your' instead of 'ur')and use punctuation and know generally not to take the shit we talk too seriously.

Mike Georger said...

yeah. i would assume this thing will get shut down pretty quickly, frankly i think it's a terrible idea.

internet elitism irritates the crap out of me, that and the revo monkeys. i'd like to think most sites frequented by older people are immune to the 'oh my GOD its a girl, lets call her by her first name even though we don't actually know her!' stuff; but man i'd be wrong.

whatever, deadspin still blows the big lead out of the water

Andrew said...

Ahh, American soccer fans discussing elitism on the intertron.

I'm sure the facebook/deadspin experiment will fail because of the rancor amongst the approved DS'ers. My buddy was approved for deadspin a few years ago and got so caught up in making funny comments that he would actually bring pen and paper whenever we all went out just to record some references, etc. I never understood it. Then again, I'm definitely not funny enough for any site on the gawker network. I'm not even sure I'm funny enough for UF.

Anyhoo, Sunderland looking to get that point in the Theatre of Shit.

Mike Georger said...

"Ahh, American soccer fans discussing elitism on the intertron."

not only that, i'm also a hockey fan!

The NY Kid said...

ah, you're good enough for us, Andrew. But your friend may have some serious self-esteem issues.

Precious Roy said...

Uh, if SAF is on a ban, why the fuck does he have a phone sitting next to him? What's the fucking point of the ban then?

JT said...

Interesting stuff at DS today. It's the end of the world as we know it, etc

/stipe


Now then, I guess I was wrong; it's clearly Man U's turn to fuck up today. The rest of us got our points earlier. While I'm pleased to see Sunderland battle for a point, there is something horribly depressing about these games. Teams play a 8-1-1 to get a point. It's heroic, but also painful on the eyes, and even more frustrating for those fans who are emotionally invested in it. Still, admirable that Mackems did turn up, and thus far have ruined the "bet the house" prediction from yesterday.

(nice, I only managed to flip-flop back and forth about five times in that paragraph!)

Precious Roy said...

Fuck...

Spectator said...

Welp, that goal was inevitable.

The NY Kid said...

fucking ManUre. what a shite goal

ü75 said...

Booooooo

Mike Georger said...

god it must be so hard to be a united fan, they're the real heroes

JT said...

that sucks so much ass, goddamn it Vidic

Andrew said...

So Georger, let me get this straight. You're a:
1. soccer fan
2. hockey fan
3. law student

Those don't add up to a barrel of fun. I'm two of those I can barely stand myself.

On the footie front, I remember the point someone made a few weeks ago re: draws in the Prem. Something about too many of them ruining chances of winning the League. I think that's gonna be the problem for ManShit and Arse this year. You have to finish, and that seems to be the problem with these two sides.

Mike Georger said...

rooney suspended against spurs, i'm sure they'll weasel out of that some how. don't they have a testimonial they can schedule and have him serve it then?

JT said...

umlaut: I realize that's Aberdeen-era Fergie, but you should really change it. He's become El Diablo in the last 10 years

Andrew said...

Forget everything I just wrote about draws.

Fuck.

Precious Roy said...

Really... Arsenal hits the post twice and gets nothing.

United hits the post and it's like the ball of its own will rolls itself to the feet of Vidic.

Fuck United. No, really. I want a large black man to personally ass rape everyone on the team and coaching staff. Is that so wrong?

Precious Roy said...

Andrew, it was he draws last season. This season, I think it's going to be the losses for the Gunners. Five already if I'm not mistaken.

Mike Georger said...

"1. soccer fan
2. hockey fan
3. law student

Those don't add up to a barrel of fun"

hockey fans are a load of fun, the best part of my week is watching penguins games with my roommate (missing one at the moment because i'm to lit on cough medicine to walk up two flights of stairs), and i assure you i'm not a very at tentative law student, i have taken maybe three pages of notes in three years. i broke the mold.

Spectator said...

Shit, I guess this means I better get on with my weekend now.

JT said...

Precious Roy: it's not that wrong, especially if the large black man is Mr. Adebayor

Mike Georger said...

damnit. looks like app state's stranglehold on IAA football is coming to an end. the only way this will get better is if ronaldo blew out his knee.

Andrew said...

@PR: Your wish is his command.

Mike Georger said...

"Thank Christ, we finally got a break today"

yeah, thank god united FINALLY got some good luck. the world has been conspiring against them for so long.

Andrew said...

@Georger: as my ConLaw professor told me my first year, "Law school is too important to take seriously." He was right. My grades weren't great, but damn I had a good time.

ü75 said...

I think that later period SAF. At least, I think he had the S by then. I just like the Flying V he's giving someone off camera.

/Totally the way I feel about the new Facespin deal.
//add a sarcastic wink, and we're through.