Saturday, December 6, 2008

Help Heal El Nino!

Remember when Goldenballs broke his foot in the run-up to the 2002 World Cup, putting the word 'metatarsal' on the lips of a previously ignorant public?

Remember how a certain UK tabloid (who shall remain unnamed) printed a picture of his foot and asked Ingerlund fans to use it as a prayer mat to help heal Becks?

Remember how he actually healed and was fit enough to play a role in Ingerlund's inevitable under-performance?

Well, now has come the time to use those potential healing powers for actual Good.

Regardless of your club affiliation, methinks we can all agree on the sublime pedigree of one Fernando José Torres Sanz. Unfortunately, El Nino's talents haven't been on display as much as they should this season. While suffering through a series of (the same) hamstring injuries which have dampened his second season at Anfield, word has it that the brain trust at Liverpool (this obviously rules out G & H) have figured out the problem and hope to put an end to #9's niggling injury. (I personally blame the Spanish National Team. Racists.)

With Liverpool sitting top of the table, the busy Christmas program is approaching and the Reds surely needs El Fantastico (El Nino + Captain Fantastic) operating at peak efficiency in order to keep up its title push. So, I ask you, the UF Readers, to use a picture of El Nino (complete with hamstring clutch) to pray with/on in hopes of getting the phenom back on the pitch.

Now, I understand many of you aren't Liverpool fans. You may not necessarily care about their title aspirations or about Torres' health. But, maybe you hate Chelsea or United? Maybe you don't want to see them win another title this season? Or maybe you just fancy Fernando's flowing blonde locks?

Whatever the reason, I ask you to take a few minutes to say a little prayer to the Footie Gods in hopes of getting my Man Crush back in action.


ü75 said...


JT said...

For thine is the Anfield
The Rafa and the Gerrard
Forever and ever, Torres

Precious Roy said...

Weren't Arsenal outbid for this guy, too?

Adam said...

Yep, but It didn't seem like they were going super agressive. It would be nice to have him right now though, he'd be able to keep Rosicky company with his stupid hamstring injury.

Autoglass said...

...or, you can do what I do. Print out the pic and stick pins in that troublesome hammy! Twang!