OMG, ROTFGAB*

*That would be "rolling on the floor getting ass beat", which is how Benjamin Evans, a former soccer camp coach in Ambler, PA will be spending most of his next 3.5 to 7 years, after he was found guilty of soliciting oral sex to a 13-year-old player he met at the camp via text messaging.

From the report:

Authorities were alerted to the situation when the girl and her parents went to the Horsham police on Aug. 6 to report that an adult coach at the girl's soccer camp had been sending sexually explicit text messages to the girl and attempting to meet with her for sexual purposes, according to the criminal complaint.

This was the second year the girl came into contact with Evans at a soccer camp that was held on the grounds of Temple University's Ambler campus, according to the complaint. The pair had several text message conversations in 2006 but those exchanges stopped when the girl's mother learned of them.

On Aug. 2, 2007, the last day of camp she attended last year, Evans again began texting her, the complaint said. He suggested having oral sex with her, adding that she would receive a $100 allowance if she was skilled, the complaint said.

Yikes. All sarcasm aside, I really am glad this guy's off the street and registered a sex offender.

He was arrested the way these guys always seem to get caught, driving himself to a sting thinking he'd get some action (should've driven to Switzerland instead). Evans reportedly told the police, "this was the stupidest thing that I ever did," to which we say, "No shit." I mean, text message? If you're going to do suggest doing something illegal, why would you use a method that leaves the record of everything you say, and can be easily read by other people, say, parents who pay the bills?

My sympathy of course is with the victim, who has had to go through a terrifying ordeal, having had entire text message conversations read out for the entire courtroom to hear. The poor girl.