UF Presents: Bigus Tripus 2008

At UF, we're trying to get into the experience business, instead of merely reporting on the sad and the hilarious from the futbol world. Precious Roy has his excellent TWAG column, and we're planning a few field trips for the spring and summer once the MLS season has kicked off.

As such, Bigus Dickus has stepped up and decided to take a little jaunt across to the UK, his homeland [and mine too], to take in 3 games of varying quality and a couple of training sessions at Norwich City over the next 5 days. He has Relegation Zone Mikey, the erstwhile Spurs fan and butt of many jokes in Hirshey's Deadspin column, along for the ride, and they'll be sending field reports from their travels.

Saturday, they're off to see Norwich City at Coventry [been there, the old stadium was great], Sunday it's Spurs at West Ham, no doubt to try and wash off two consecutive embarrassing defeats, Monday it's off to Norwich for their training sessions [and maybe even a stint on Radio Norfolk], and Tuesday night concludes the journey with Norwich at home to Stoke City. Yes, it's the highs and the lows of the EPL and the Championship.

Without further ado: Bigus' first report. There will be more.

Flight left an hour late but we got a touch when they called me up to let me know they were moving me forward to world traveller 'plus' and giving me the entire row! Leg room too! Note: travel with a baby! You also get on first!

Felt bad as Packimo [Ed. Note: RZM] looked on sad and desperate with the fate of one being sat for 7 hours next to a fat old snorer with a Birmingham accent, a weak bladder and no leg room. Gave him the 'come on son' nod and hooked him up.

He was asleep before we took off. Bastard! So was Ivy (see pic). Once we were airborne she retired to her 'crib' which was essentially a box with a blue checked tea towel in it. No expense spared.

Which brings me to the in flight meal: Chicken. One bite. Gone.

Question. Was that chicken? Note: Best not to ask.

Read the Times and noted that Matt Hughes described Chelseas football against Olympiacos as "cold-hearted professionalism" so in other words, "crap".

"The Greeks came bearing the gift of qualification, their ambition so limited that it was a wonder they had travelled at all".

This is my slap to all those misguided Chelsea fans like my mate Q who watches amazing football through his blue-tinted glasses.

"3 nil!" he emails. Get excited when you draw someone good pal. From the look of what's left that will be rather soon! For now, you are Bolton.

Unlike Packimo, I havent slept yet so I look forward to filling my arteries with a greasy breakfast offering upon arrival before taking a nap to prepare for 6 pints and a curry. Packimo is in for a treat. Taking him to one of the best curry houses on the planet tonight after some beers and a catch up with some friends in Laaaandon.

Note: This has been sorely missed.

Tomorrow we will head to Coventry to see Super Glenn's Super Yellows at the Ricoh Stadium. An early start is required to make it to a pub called the Blackhorse in time for United v Pompey and a few beers with some City fans I know from the NCFC message boards.

Sad git I know!