In rather surprising news, perennial Scotland bottom squad East Stirlingshire failed to live down to its billing this season. That's right. The team that finished at the bottom of the Scotland ladder for five seasons running managed to secure a vital win on the last day and finish 41st in the 42-team four-tier league system.
To do so, East Stirling put together a pretty good stretch run--three wins, two draws and a loss in the last six games. The team that ended up finishing last, Forfar Athletic, did much worse, with only three draws in their last six matches. The end result is that East Stirling finished one point better than Forfar, and boy are they excited.
What has been left unsaid in the few articles trumpeting East Stirling's stunning 9th place finish is what it means to the club. Depending on the SFL's mood, one of two things were going to happen at the end of the season if East Stirling finished last again. Sometime in the last year, the Scottish Football League passed a new rule that put possible sanctions on teams who finished at the foot of the ladder too many times in five year period. Luckily for East Stirling, Rule 1:21 was not made retroactive when enacted.
In its most basic form, Rule 1:21 provides for two possible penalties. The first is that the club can be changed into a non-voting member of the SFL. The team would still be allowed in the league, but not allowed to take part in any discussions or votes about revenue, sponsorships etc. The second possible outcome is that the club may be voted out of the league entirely. Trust me when I say that the Third Division crowds of 500 would look pretty good to a team in the East of Scotland league.
So, Forfar Athletic, you lot are now on the proverbial clock. Get off the foot of the table next season, or you'll start hearing the whispers about being replaced by Clachnacuddin FC (or, more likely, Cove Rangers). Unless, of course, Gretna go out of existence first.
Monday, April 28, 2008
East Stirlingshire does the impossible
Sunday, April 27, 2008
And Ashley Cole Looks Like That Dude From Fine Young Cannibals
So watching the end of the Villa v. Everton match on Sunday—and that was some Arsenal-esque defending in the clutch by Everton—when Marlon Harewood came on for Aston Villa.
All I can think of is, "Man, he is a deadringer for somebody..."
I'm pretty sure the teams swap goals again before I finally have my Archimedes moment and realize, "Hey, he's totally Frank Thomas' doppelgänger."
Then I think I'm being all clever and figure I've hit on a regular feature—some kind of 'separated at birth' gimmick—for UF. So I'm actually searching for a pic of Harewood when I come across this.
Then I found it links back to this.
Admiral Akbar? Really? And I don't even know who that other plastic dinosaur dude is.
No way, Harewood looks just like Frank Thomas. (or Frank Thomas). I mean they are even both big, physically menacing guys.
Anyway, there are dozens of them already up at Football365. Most of them suck total ass, but Ricardo Carvalho does look like Adam Ant in that pic. Roy Keane... eh, a little less so.
But, shit, just like every good idea, somebody has probably already had it.
It's Alive
"It" being Fulham(ls).
Diomansy Kamara came on as a 64th minute substitution to spark a 3 goalsplosion for Fulham and overcome a 2-0 deficit against Citeh, saving the Cottagers from certain relegation.
Leaving them in just probable relegation.
In fact at one point Saturday, had the results held, Fulham was officially relegated. That was probably when the Liverpool b-team was getting a scoring lesson from Birmingham and Fulham was being Fulham.
But then Kamara went nuts. Okay, it was just a brace, including the stoppage time winner), and Danny Murphy had to tap in a missed PK, but still Fulhamerica lives. And pro-rate that shit out. Two goals in 25 minutes. He would have had 7.2 over the full 90.
Anyway, Fluham's win is big news around here because well, we're Americans. And we love America.
Still, looking at the two remaining fixtures, it's still going to be VERY tough for Fulham to avoid the drop because Reading get to play Derby the final week of the season. And Derby is the worst team in maybe the history of the EPL (suck it, Barclay's). In fact even next week Reading might get a break as they get a Tottenham team that has clearly mailed it in (a home draw to fucking Bolton?).
Figure Fulham need at least four points and make it to 34. Three of those have to come in a win at home to Birmingham next week. Then also at least a point at Fratton Park. The good news is that Portsmouth might be resting everyone remotely skilled in advance of the FA Cup final.
They also need some help then. Again, Reading, currently on 33 points will probably get to 36 against Derby. So, the best chance of that help might be in the form of Sunderland. If Sunderland can win at Bolton next week, that would probably leave the Wanderers stuck on 33 as they finish at Chelsea, and Chelsea is still likely playing for a shot at the Prem that last week. So Bolton have no chance at Stamford Bridge.
It's a long shot. Unless you think Derby can double their win total for the season at the expense of Reading.
You just knew the Cottagers would rue all 12 of those early season 87th minute collapses. But hey, Lawrie Sanchez looked sharp on those sidelines.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
For Those Of You Who Hate Cristiano Ronaldo....
This blogger may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with hating Cristiano Ronaldo, but he undoubtedly has a bit of flair that goes with his hating. He wants everybody to share their hate for Ronaldo or their love at his website. It certainly is worth a punt.
Read more on "For Those Of You Who Hate Cristiano Ronaldo...."...Friday, April 25, 2008
Friday Backpasses: Can these all be Hirshey related?
NASL Cosmos' championship rings for sale. Hirshey set to deliver beatdown [The Offside Rules]
Henry will only return to England for Arsenal. Hirshey set to deliver "boo-yah" [The Spoiler]
More fun after the jump.
Spain's Defense Ministry has a crappy set of tubes [Independent]
English footballers want Luciano Moggi to shut up [Pink News]
Six refs suspended in Bulgaria [SoccerAmerica Daily]
Viennese voice coach says fans in danger of losing voices at Euros [SoccerAmerica Daily]
South African club owner found guilty of corruption and bribery [Football365 South Africa]
Omaha youth player caught by stray bullet [Comcast Sports]
Okay, can we agree some Old Firm fans are twats? [Celtic Mad]
Olympic group draws done [World Cup Blog]
Soon-to-be Mrs. Rooney in a bikini. Meh [Kickette]
Levante, the Gretna of Spain. Possible player strike would ensure relegation [Soccerway]
Yeah, Been Slacking A Couple of Weeks
See this?
I still can't get my head around that. Chelsea is just three points back. And they play United this weekend. Not only that, the game is at the Bridge where the Blues haven't lost since, I don't know, since like the Cubs were last in the World Series or people used rotary phones.
It is astounding. Haven't they been dreadful? Hasn't Grant managed to manage them down to the level of their opponent week after eye-bleedingly awful week? But there they are. It's like that night you spent the whole time chatting up the hot chick at the party and then right as she is about to give you her number, an ex pops in to the shindig, and, after a 90 second exchange, whisks her home. Only this is worse because it's Chelsea, and there is no EPL (suck it, Barclay's) equivalent of masturbation to placate the epic failure.
The only consolation is that, even if Chelsea can get the win, they will be so far behind on goal differential, they will need another United slip while they face off against a shockingly quasi-competent Newcastle and still utterly useless Bolton. Even then, handing United a championship is no consolation (not here at UF anyways).
How is this possible? I have no answer. But Avram Grant's good fortune has me toying with the idea of returning to religion. And that can't be good for anyone.
Frankly this season has turned out to be sheer torture. My beloved Gunners might have been the best team in the Prem this season and will have nothing to show for it, not even likely the auto-Champions League qualification. Meanwhile the two teams I hate most are having a go at each other for the title. The only thing I can hope for is that both teams so utterly destroy themselves and each other that they both crash out of the CL next week. Ugh.
Of course Fergie is already complaining about that 'unfair' scheduling. Pussy. Somebody should knee him in the nuts.
Oh, wait...
Here's ten pairs of numbers.
0-0
2-0
4-2
1-0
0-1
1-1
0-2
2-2
0-0
0-4 (I'll call this as Arsenal at Pride Park and Theo with a hatty).
Toronto FC invades America looking to get their flower back
I don't think that it's any secret that road support in the MLS is virtually non-existent. Let's face it, the USA (and its Buffalo suburb, Toronto) is huge compared to traditional European football powerhouses. The distances, time and cost involved make the trips all but impossible for working fans. Toronto FC fans, then, put on a superhuman performance last month, taking 2300 fans for the 850 mile round trip to Columbus. The possible reason? The two teams are fighting over a flower.
Yes, that's right. Fans from the two clubs voted online to name their mashed up rivalry the Trillium Cup. No, not the Trillian Cup, which is either in homage to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or internet chatting, but Trillium, the official wildflower of Ohio and official overall flower of Ontario. Ah look, isn't it pretty?
I guess I shouldn't harp too much. My state's flower doesn't even get a Wiki-link.
So, yeah, the teams fight over a flower. Don't tell Luciano Moggi. He may not be able to stand the inherent gayness of the whole deal. On the other hand, serious UF kudos to traveling TFC fans. While none of us can describe ourselves as hardcore MLS fans, we respect those that are. Hopefully, other teams in the league will start to rival your fanaticism. Especially if Portland ever get the team they deserve.
American Pro Soccer: A History Lesson
We here at UF have had numerous discussions about the state (and fate) of soccer in America, mostly along the lines of whether or not it will ever evolve into fan-levels on par with the NFL or MLB. John Feinstein, writer at the Washinton Post (BOOOO!), jumps into the discussion with the idea that we need to understand the history of the sport in America if we are to move forward. Join me after the jump for a little bit about the NASL.
Feinstein starts off his discussion by mentioning that he "really want[s] to like soccer again", presumably in an effort to assure us that this won't be yet another ill-informed rant against the strange sport. Then he notes that "there are two ways people look at soccer: Either as the most wondrous sport ever created or the most boring." For the most part, this would appear to be true - all of us here can attest to that fact. We (i.e. those of us at UF) all have friends who cringe at the mere thought of watching a soccer match (yet will sit for 3.5 hours and watch a 1-0 baseball game), and we all have friends who are absolutely rabid footy fans (if you don't, you need new friends).
Feinstein's point is not that we should try to convert the non-believers, it's that we can lure in the casual observer by understanding more about the history of soccer in the US. Forget for a moment that Feinstein's description of the dichotomy in his initial thesis (i.e. rabid fans v. those bored to tears) precludes the very idea of a casual observer, and instead take a trip down memory lane. Feinstein does well to note that many of the North American Soccer League (NASL) teams spent quite a bit of money to bring in aging superstars such Pele, Chinaglia, Beckenbauer, and Cruyff in order to give the league some credibility. Covering the league as a young reporter (no word on whether he ever met Hirshey), he learned quite a bit about the sport of soccer and grew to love it. But somewhere along the way, they broke up.
The NASL really over-extended itself when it expanded from 12 teams to 24 teams in the span of two years, and MLS has worked hard to avoid the same mistakes. But Feinstein argues that "it still hasn't gotten to where the NASL was in its glory days. My sense as an outsider is that most soccer people now take the attitude that if you don't get their sport, it is your loss." Whether or not the first statement is true is somewhat debateable, but the second is almost certainly true. I know very few people who can understand why I will wake up at 7:30am on a Saturday morning (tomorrow) to watch an on-line feed of the Chelsea v. Manchester United match, particularly when I am an Arsenal fan. I also know that I have very little interest in trying to make them understand.
So, is soccer better off in America now than back in the late 1970s/early 1980s? I certainly hope so - we have far greater TV coverage (hey, ESPN even broadcasts MLS games on nights when there are hockey playoffs going on!), including soccer specific channels like FSC, GolTV (thanks for finally adding it, Comcast! Wankers.), and Setanta. We have soccer-specific stadia. We have more people playing the sport than ever before. We have more casual observers (including the random kit-wearing douchebag from Chicago with the Blanco jersey who couldn't even spell Cuauhtemoc, much less pronounce it (OK, that's a little unfair).
I think the reality is somewhat close to what Feinstein has stated, although I think that the picture is a little brighter than he thinks. For the most part, there are two camps of people - the rabid fans and those who think soccer sucks (you ignorant bastards). But I believe that the former group has grown exponentially since the days of the NASL. However, while the state of soccer in America may be bright, this does not necessarily mean that the state of American soccer is the same. People are interested in the international game, such as Euro 2008 and World Cup 2010 (and particularly in the EPL; suck it Barclay's!), and MLS often suffers in comparison. However, if people truly took the time to watch MLS matches, I think they would be pleasantly surprised by what they saw (well, unless they were watching San Jose v. DC United).
Some people think that MLS should strive to more closely emulate the NASL in an effort to draw more interest, but I think that's probably a bad idea. What part, exactly, of a failed league should we be looking to implement? The wonderful kits? The use of Bugs Bunny as a mascot? (and fuck that useless twat - I went to numerous Cosmos games as kid, and that bastard never threw one of his stupid carrots to me)
No, I think that soccer in the US is just fine as it is. Those of us who love the sport: (1) appreciate MLS for what it is; (2) wake up at 5AM to watch World Cup matches in Korea; (3) rabidly follow the EPL (or Ligue 1, La Liga, Bundesliga, Eredivisie, or, God forbid, Serie A); and (4) most likely play it as often as possible. To those of you who don't love the sport, we won't try to force it down your throats. But stop with the "Soc-cer?" jokes, already. You're not funny, asshole.
HT: to John H. for turning me on (eww, gross) to the Feinstein story.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Thursday Backpasses: Apparently not all Old Firm fans are twats. Who knew?
Celtic goodie two-shoes links.
Celtic supports Liverpool dead, 18 years on [Celtic-mad]
And another picture from that tribute [LFC Vancouver]
Run-on sentences detailing good times in Lisbon [Celtic-mad]
Other, more recent, fun after the jump.
Scottish scientists have figured out why England are crap at penalties [Scotsman]
Even Reina knows more about penalties than C. Ronaldo [goal.com]
FIFA tells suspended footballer to give up fight for reinstatement [Soccernet]
Liverpool fans tell Riise they no longer care for him [The Spoiler]
Cardiff can go to Europe if they win FA Cup, to represent England, despite being Welsh [Sky Sports]
Robbie Keane, menace on the road [Soccernet, The Sun]
This Time He Missed
Diego Maradona, international soccer superstar, is in the press again, which it happens he is most happy to be even if not for the most glamorous of actions. This time Diego was leaving a Buenos Aries courthouse following an arbitration between him and his former manager, Guillermo Coppola (no word whether this is the next Nicholas Coppola). Leaving the building there was a phalanx of reporters following Maradona and a little fracas appears to have broken out.
Live television showed Maradona and his former wife, Claudia Villafane, as they tried to escape through a crowd of journalists. Maradona was heard to shout: "Don't push Claudia."
With camera crews and reporters surrounding him, Maradona was seen throwing a punch that apparently missed. There were no reports of injuries, but Maradona can be heard on video complaining: "They hit me with a camera!"
Ironically, the man known worldwide for punching a soccerball missed his intended target.
Asked for comment, England said, "Why couldn't this little shrimp have missed in '86?"
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