Yeah, not so much.
On the surface, though, it would appear that the Scottish FA Cup has been taken over by the government. What with the governmental sloganeering and the government controlling the branding and naming rights of the Scottish Cup for the next two years. In reality, it seems the cup and the government got a bailout on the matter from a certain businessman.
A former Celtic director ponied up the cash himself for the naming rights to the cup for the next two years. He then passed passed along those rights to the Scottish Government. They will use the rights to promote the 250th birthday of Robert Burns, a poet so bad, he never even learned to write English correctly (I kid).
There are two other things to take out of this article. One, Homecoming Scottish Cup is better, if only slightly, than City Refrigeration Scottish Cup. City Refrigeration is the business that Willie Haughey, the man who put up the cash, owns. Secondly, get used to those colors on the trophy for the next two years. I mean, a former director of Celtic doesn't just cede the rights to what he paid for without some guarantees, right?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Government bailouts abound!
The Good, The Bad, The WTF
Eintracht Braunschweig, or Brunswick as we English speakers call it, currently resides in the newly professional 3rd Liga in Germany. Currently, they sit 11th in the 20 team table, equidistant on points from promotion or relegation. Once upon a time, this was a team that won the Bundesliga. But that's not what this column is about. It's about the time they changed their badge, and changed how we look at soccer shirts in general.
I don't know about you, but when I buy a shirt, I usually like the sponsor logo, because I like it to be as "authentic" as possible. (Side note-today I am wearing a knockoff blackcurrant Arsenal shirt with "Fly Emirates" as the sponsor. Since O2 was the sponsor the last year at Highbury, you can draw your own conclusion as how far authenticity goes with me.) The shirt sponsor, as we know it today, goes back to the '70s. Heck, until Mike Georger forwarded over this article, I thought Kettering Town was the first team to have advertising on their kit. Turns out Eintracht Braunschweig had them beat by a few years. But, boy did they have to jump through some hoops to get there.
Eintracht Braunschweig was still high up in the Bundesliga in 1973, but were reeling from a bizarre scandal involving unscheduled, off-the-book, payments to its players. It seems the players were not getting paid to underperform, but instead to try harder than ever to win. This was a scandal, and players were suspended by the DFB and the club was hit with fines as well.
This hurt the team a lot. They were a smaller club fighting it out amongst the big ones. The loss of form from missing players kept the fans away,and when that loss was coupled with the above fines, it meant the club was hemorrhaging money. They needed cash, and fast. In stepped local boy Gunter Mast, the man who owned Jagermeister.
German rules at the time permitted only one logo on the shirt--the badge of the club. Eintracht Braunschweig's attempts to get the rule changed were rebuffed. The club then took the unusual step of changing their badge, from this
to this.
The above-linked article goes into pretty hilarious detail of how the DFB tried to keep the new shirts from seeing the light of day, and I would recommend reading it.
Anyway, when it came time to debut the shirts, this is how they looked:
The yellow one is the field shirt, while the blue one is the keeper's shirt.
Seven months after Eintracht Braunschweig debuted their new shirts, the DFB backed down and allowed clubs to sign shirt sponsorship deals. They flourished, of course, and now the only clubs that seem to be without sponsor all have "West" in their name.
Aa far as the shirts themselves, I think I would wear it. I wouldn't get near as big a kick out of it as I would have about 10 years ago when I could actually drink the stuff, but it is rather well done. It should be noted that the above shirt was the first attempt at putting the deer head logo on the shirt. Later, when the rules relaxed and the club could place an advertisement on the shirt, they did. This is the result:
Sneaky, huh? The badge itself did not change back until the '80s, so this is not really an extra large sponsor, it's the club logo with the sponsor's name underneath. Pretty tricky there, Germans.
One last, late addition here. I got the old photos of the shirts from this gallery. Click through to see some awesome sponsors, 'staches and hair.
Bernd Stange has had a crazier life than you
As the hours tick down before England's clash with Belarus in Minsk tonight, much is being made in the press about Belarus coach Bernd Stange and his wild and crazy life. Whereas most footballers fill their lives with sex, porn, alcoholism and debauchery, Stange's career has featured the complete opposite: spying, firings, sultans, and Saddam Hussein.
It was reported a few weeks ago in my favourite footballing periodical (one that's well worth the extra Euros for a subscription in the US), but it bears playing out the highlights, all of which can be found just about anywhere today.
I get it, he managed the Iraqi team, he was a Stasi informant for many years, and now he's plying his trade in Belarus, a place the US State Department singled out as "Europe’s only remaining outpost of tyranny," which, as a student of political rhetoric, has a charming oratorial ring to it.
Despite all the drama and personal background that'd be perfect for another Jason Bourne movie, Stange is all about the results:
I have worked for communist regimes, a dictator, capitalists and for a sultanate. But my work is always the same. It’s only ever about one thing – putting the ball in the net.It sure is, Bernd, it sure is. Arsenal might need you soon.
But all joking aside, is it impossible that he could eventually land a managerial job somewhere a little more high-profile?
He's managed several teams to league titles (FC Carl Zeiss Jena, Perth Glory, Apollon Limassol in Cyprus) as well as boosting Belarus to their highest FIFA Ranking ever, bumping them up 35 spots to 59th in just 15 months on the job.
Looking at the EPL, for example, there are several teams that could use his unique blend of fear, surveillance, dictatorial leadership and thirst for goals*. After all, if he can grind out results with Apollon Limassol, a side that just about avoided relegation the year Stange took over, only to win the League and Super Cup double the next season, how much harm could he do with the ineptitude being cultivated at White Hart Lane?
Stange has even commented on the subject, given his obvious love for a challenge: "I do like challenges but Liverpool, Manchester United and Bayern Munich didn't call me to take their clubs."
Considering the rumors that Juventus are targeting Rafa Benitez, I'll be the first to make the completely dumb proposition that Stange could end up at Anfield, although let's be honest -- the only way he ends up there is if his plane to New York stops at John Lennon International Airport to refuel.
And anyway, we all know he'd be much better off back in the Bundesliga.
* My first ludicrous, Bleacher Report-esque assertion in UF history
Read more on "Bernd Stange has had a crazier life than you"...
World Cup Qualifying Open Thread
Asia is in the books because it's already tomorrow over there. So if you're in Asia, please don't spoil the outcomes of the European matches for us.
Anyway, UEFA gets underway in mere minutes with Russia v. Finland. Apparently there is something of a national obsession in Finland with the Tango. This isn't really relevant to soccer but it's interesting nonetheless.
If you've got access to this technology known as 'television', there's a decent match up on FSC at noon between the Dutch and Norway. And we wouldn't be good Americans if we didn't mention England.
Fifty-ninth ranked Belarus are sitting at 4th position in Group 6 on three points, but they have only played two matches and, with an upset of England could instantly make this group far more interesting as well as destroy the confidence built up by Fabio Capello. It would also give Engerland fodder for its national pastime of second guessing.
Anyway, fun as that might be to think about, the English are shoe-ins to win at Belarus. Why do I know this? First, because as I type this sentence my iTunes just shuffled up "Rock 'n' Roll Party in the Streets" by Axe. Nothing could be a greater harbinger of victory for all English speaking people (yeah, I just want to let as many people know that scattered throughout my hipster indie rock library is some truly shitty metal). Second, and more importantly, the English players aren't screwing their WAG's.
That's why they failed so miserably in Germany, at least according to El Capitan Rio:People were worrying more about what people were wearing and where they were going out, rather than the England football team. That then transposed itself into the team. That's said in hindsight. At the time, we were caught up in the bubble ourselves. Being somewhere like Baden-Baden, walking around the town, there were paparazzi everywhere, our families were there. When you step back and look back at that, it was like a circus.
Yeah, blame the chicks and the press.
Tempting to call him a stupid twit, but maybe there is something to it.
In Zimbabwe the head of the FA is fucking the players, and they failed to make it to the Third Round of CAF qualifying, having finished with just 1 win in their 4 team group (and if you only click on one hyperlink this month, make it this one).
Anyway, feel free to play along in the comments because once the party gets started we're all here to stay.
Selected European fixtures: (kickoffs in ET)
Belarus v England, 2.30
Belgium v Spain, 2:45
Croatia v Andorra, 2:15
Germany v Wales, 2:45
Italy v Montenegro, 2:50
Latvia v Israel, 12:00
Northern Ireland v San Marino, 2:45
Norway v Holland, 1:00
Portugal v Albania, 3:45
Rep of Ireland v Cyprus, 2:45
Russia v Finland, 11:00am
Silence, Bande de Cretins!
La Marseillaise is one of the most recognizable songs in the world, and is generally considered to be the greatest national anthem ever written. The lyrics recount the struggle during the French Revolution, and are filled with vivid imagery such "May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows."
Now, we French take the sanctity of the French language very seriously, even enacting a law (Loi Toubon) to protect against the infiltration of non-French words into French society. This goes back as far as 1635, when Cardinal Richelieu established L'Academie Francaise to act as the official authority on all matters concerning the French language. So what does all this mean?
Like I said, we take the French language very seriously.
Yesterday (Tuesday, October 14th), France played against Tunisia in a friendly. Although the match was played in Paris at the Stade de France, many of the 60,000 spectators were Tunisian. Given the history of French colonialism, this is not surprising. However, given the context of that history, it should not have come as a shock that many of the Tunisian supporters whistled during the playing of La Marseillaise.
In France, as in much of Europe, whistling is extremely derogatory and is considered even more offensive than booing. This has happened before, against Algeria in October 2001 and against Morocco in November 2007 (both friendlies, and both against former French colonies). 
This time, the opposing supporters took things even further, whistling at Hatem ben Arfa as he was announced. Ben Arfa was born in France to Tunisian parents, and the Tunisian Football Association spent a great deal of time trying to convince him to play for that national team, which was obviously unsuccessful. While Domenech stated that he was "moved" by the beautiful singing of both national anthems by several franco-tunisian women, he claimed that he simply ignored the negative energy from the crowd.
The rest of France, however, did not. Prime Minister François Fillon called the whistling "insulting for France and the French players", while Bernard Laporte, the ministerial secretary of state for sport, was quoted as saying that France should no longer play friendly matches against their North African former colonies. After meeting with President Nicolas Sarkozy, French Sports Minister Roslyne Bachelot stated that in the future any matches at which La Marseillaise was interrupted by poor sportsmanship would be stopped immediately. She went on to state:"Government members will immediately leave the arena where our national anthem has been whistled. When whistling of our antional anthem happens, all friendly games with the country concerned will be suspended for a period yet to be determined by the federation president."
Unfortunately, Jean-Marie Le Pen also felt the need to open up his yap. The far-right (way far right) mouthpiece declared that the whistling of La Marseillaise was a sign that the multicultural experiment of France is not working.
I've discussed before the appelation of the national team as "Les Blacks, Blancs, et Beurs", a concept of which Le Pen is not fond. Incidents such as those of yesterday simply give this asinine man even more ammunition for his National Front party ramblings.
Certainly, the history of French colonialism in North Africa is a painful one (on both sides), and it is understandable that resentment against racism (both state-supported and individual) is present.
But really, how can you boo the greatest national anthem ever written?
To recap:
If you are English and boo Cashley Cole, that is acceptable.
If you are anyone and you disrespect La Marseillaise, we will hunt you down and beat you with a baguette. Or maybe we'll just take our ball and go home.
Liverpool FC: Catch the Fragrance of 4th Place
If you've ever been to my hometown, you'll notice that the smells there aren't particularly brilliant. Liverpool, being a dock town, isn't exactly known for its pleasing aromas, but there might still be hope yet with the news that LFC is launching a fragrance for men. And right in time for Christmas, too!
I believe the hope is that the smell will last longer into the New Year than Liverpool's title aspirations.
The Mirror had some delightful, witty riffs on what this fragrance, and those of other EPL teams, might smell like, but we feel that we can all do an awful lot better.
What would Liverpool's fragrance smell like?
Other fragrances of interest:
- Newcastle United
- Tottenham Hotspur
- Hull
- Portsmouth (nachos, perhaps?)
- Everton
- Manchester City
- Arsenal
- Chelsea
Give us some fragrance notes. I'd imagine the Spurs one to be a heady blend of money, paella, and despair.
Comment on!
German Footballer Goes Against the Run of Play
Eva Roob brings new definition to a two-way player on the soccer field.
Roob is a former professional women's soccer player in Germany who is now starring in the adult industry (NSFW Slideshow in link). Samira Summer, her stage name, started out as a defensive midfielder keeping players out of the box, and now she lets them into the box all the time.
I'd like to take this opportunity to let you, the loyal UF reader, know that we strive to bring the readers and fellow footy fans the best stories we can find be it serious, humorous, technical, or ribald, especially the ribald. I take great pride in researching the stories I post and I did a ton of research (NSFW) for this one.
Now, back to the regularly scheduled programming.
Let me warn you: all of these links are NSFW as is the video after the jump and the one photo could be deemed so, although none of the good parts are revealed. Don't go blaming us if you get fired after clicking through the links.
Also, please note this story has only appeared on websites not written in English, so the information I bring you is based on my declining German language proficiency.
Ms. Roob played for FC Nuremberg in 2nd Women's Bundesliga beginning in 2001. She played two years, but the pay wasn't the greatest so she had to "augment" (NSFW) her income. Naturally, she thought of Roob's boobs (NSFW) as a source of income dancing at corporate parties and doing photoshoots.
Unfortunately, the hours of second job clashed with her first job. Summer was coming in at five in the morning and going back to the pitch at ten o'clock. Even her teammates knew two demanding professions such as hers could not succeed. No word if there was some jealousy from the teammates about a lack of lap dances.
The choice for Roob was easy...football was fun but taking her clothes off was much more thrilling. This last statement is much better in German: "Fußball hat mir Spaß gemacht. Aber mein neuer Job ist einfach noch viel, viel prickelnder."
Noch viel prickelnder, indeed.
On Thursday, Samira Summer will appear at Germany's largest erotic fair, "Venus," in Berlin. Any Berlin UF readers maybe take a long lunch and get to know Ms. Summer.
And, for your enjoyment, a NSFW slide show of Eva Roob.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tuesday Backpasses: The first of two stars
Answers on why the away US qualifiers look so poor on TV [NY Times]
West Ham rumored to be inking new shirt sponsor [Daily Mail]
Ljungberg to Seattle? [Examiner]
Should Podolski move to the EPL? [Kornheiser's Cartel]
Ruud Gullit seems to be a bit peeved over his time in the USA [Goal.com]
WPS (why no L?) signs a TV deal with FSC [Biz Journals]
Brazil had a shitty trip back from Venezuela [Soccernet]
Pro Evo meets The Sims? [Tech Radar]
And, finally:
The Offside has a new Aberdeen page. Your author is happy [The Offside]
Coming Soon: Blaugrana West?
If reports are to be believed, FC Barcelona will be tossing its proverbial hat into the ring for the chance to land an MLS expansion team. There had been rumors of this previously, but it appears legit now as The Miami Herald is now reporting that they will indeed buy an MLS lotto ticket.
From the Herald:
Barcelona announced on its website that it would partner with Miami resident Marcelo Claure, a Bolivian cellphone magnate and owner of FC Bolivar, to launch a team in Miami. Claure is the CEO of Brightstar Communications, a multibillion-dollar company that is one of the largest Hispanic-owned businesses in the United States. Joan Laporta, president of Barcelona, and Joan Oliver, the club's general director, plan to be in Miami Wednesday to present their plans.
First, are they many phrases more intrinsically entertaining than "Bolivian cellphone magnate"? Second, a Spanish team with global appeal opening up a subsidiary in a market full of latinamericanousness, this seems like a no-brainer, right?
Not so fast, mi amigo.
Remember Miami already had an MLS team, the Fusion. They closed up shop in 2001, along with their Floridian brethren the Tampa Bay Mutiny, as MLS contracted from 12 to 10 teams. And even though the league is seemingly on better financial footing, attendance levels are only now back up to what they were during the league's inaugural season. Plus, if Miami does get a team, it will be in 2011, after 2 other cities (in Seattle 2009, and Philadelphia 2010) have jumped in to dilute the talent pool. That's a problem for whoever gets bids, though, as a two team expansion in 2011 is happening.
But maybe South Florida just ain't the sports hotbed that people want it to be. Of the 10 Sports Franchises Most Likely to Move as ranked by Forbes, two of them, the Rays and the Marlins, are in the region.
The Marlins were drawing crowds in the hundreds despite being on the fringe of the playoff race into September. And the Rays made the playoffs and still can't sell out. Even of the area teams that didn't make the Forbes list, the gate ain't great. The Florida Panthers draw 28th out of 30 in the NHL and the FBI is starting to relocate witnesses to Heat games.
So whether the jackpot is really worth winning for Miami remains to be seen.
TFA UPDATE: The Offside Rules had a post recently regarding the potential situs of Miami's stadium. It's a neat little stadium with retractable seating to fit soccer fields better. Although, it is not soccer specific as MLS desires, but given the current economic climate, probably isn't a bad deal to begin with.
Read more on "Coming Soon: Blaugrana West?"...
This week in political footballers
Roman Pavlyuchenko has been rather complainy since joining Spurs. The training sessions were too rough and too long, and obviously, his team is currently in the shitter and waiting to be flushed.
And yet, amid all the madness in North London, he still found time to get into politics, as he was elected deputy for Putin's United Russia party on the regional council in his hometown of Stavropol.
Does this mean Darren Bent will soon be lobbying for a spot in Gordon Brown's cabinet reshuffle?
The entire thing is rather hilarious, and, like most things Russian of late, rather shady and suspicious. Pavs was born in Stavropol and attended his first soccer academy there, although detractors are questioning him and his real interest in politics:"He's not from Moscow. He's a village guy," Anton Lisin, a football commentator with Sovietsky Sport noted. "The only reason Pavlyuchenko might be interested in politics is if the international financial crisis affected his wages," he added.
Either way, he's got a seat in power now, besting his former Zenit strike partner Andrei Arshavin, who stood for United Russia in '07 but walked away empty-handed.
So now the big question remains: how the heck is he going to balance football and filibustering? Will Frazier Campbell be his shadow striker when he's busy voting da or nyet on matters of grave regional concern?
I'm assured by my intelligent Russia-savvy friend that Pavs doesn't have much to worry about in terms of policy-making or voting, because he's essentially a figurehead; in Russian politics, the party enters these elections, and should they win, or at least be in danger of losing, they'll dump a regional celebrity in their nominee chair in order to get the results their way.
In Roman's case, once United Russia won the region, Putin (or someone close to him) can fill the position with whoever they see fit, and this time around for Stavropol, they went with the jetsetting young striker who's very much beloved in Russia for his goals against England that secured their spot in Euro '08.
Hilarious, when you think about it. Poor Pavs the puppet! And the extra pocket money will be nice too, at least until these crony techniques are phased out in the motherland.
Pavlyuchenko might need to sign regional legislation every now and then that someone else has written, but either way, his sister seems certain that he'll be able to balance both and not suffer from distraction:"He's obviously still adjusting. And it's difficult for him because he's injured. But he'll get used to it. He comes back to Stavropol whenever he has a holiday."
Fulfilling his political duties before enjoying a holiday? A bit like Dubya, innit?
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