Who Should Lose Their Job?

He should be worried.

So, obviously I didn't really feel like discussing it, but Les Bleus lost 1-0 to the Super Eagles of Nigeria in a friendly on Tuesday. Raymond Domenech's back-line selection of Fanni, Squillaci, Escudé, and Evra looked completely outclassed and were lucky to only concede 1 goal. Ray-Ray's response to the loss?

"The players tried to play to quickly, to dribble and enjoy themselves, but they forgot the basics. You can't win a football match if you forget the basics."

Les Bleus will face Turkey tomorrow night in another friendly, and then have 3 WC qualifiers late in the summer - against the Faroe Islands in August, and against Romania and Serbia in early September. Obviously, my thoughts on Raymond Domenech are clear - he needs to go, and sharpish! Apprently I'm not the only one, as nearly 91% of over 7,500 readers of Le Figaro agree with me. As you would expect, the comments on the latter post are thoughtful, mature, and not at all reactionary. Nevertheless, they are correct in calling for his head.

A little earlier today we discussed last night's shitshow v. Costa Rica, and much of our conversation focused on whether or not Bob Bradley was responsible.

So, who needs to go?

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Vikash Dhorasoo Loves Poor Kids, Hates Zizou

This may be the only pic in existence of Dhorasoo on the pitch for Les Bleus.

Let me start off by saying that I think that Vikash Dhorasoo is quite the humanitarian. He has been active against racism in football, is one of the main sponsors of Paris Football Gay (an anti-homophobic football club based in the capital), and fights poverty in Mauritius (where his grandparents are from). However, he is also a cranky, disgruntled former footballer.



Dhorasoo has been in Delhi recently in an attempt to expand the presence of football in India, given the relative lack of Indian athletes in "major" sports. On Saturday he played in a friendly match against a squad led by India defender Renedy Singh. While the majority of his focus is to spot talent among the poverty-stricken street children of Delhi, Vikash apparently felt the need to also speak up about his former captain.

In describing Zizou's charity work (in contrast to his own), he stated flatly that he had a humanitarian purpose while Zidane had only a financial one for this efforts. When asked about the pressure of stepping in to the midfielder role to replace the legendary Zinedine Zidane, Dhorasoo asked "Who is Zidane?" While that by itself could be taken as a joke, he continued:

"We are not friends. We are workers, and football is a job like any other. So, there will be competition. Yes, Zidane's return to the team (to help coach Raymond Domenech's badly struggling team qualify for 2006 World Cup) wasn't good for me."

Yes, clearly the return of one of the game's greatest midfielders ever was not beneficial to the playing time of Dhorasoo, but if the latter really cared about Les Bleus he would have recognized that it was beneficial to the team. Perhaps he is still upset that he recorded only 18 appearances for the national team, scoring only 1 goal in that time. Or perhaps he feels the weight of having disappointed everyone who thought that he had such promise as a young midfielder. After starting his career at Le Havre, Dhorasoo then went on to play 238 matches for Lyon, Bordeaux, AC Milan, and Paris Saint-Germain, but scored only 12 goals in 9 years of football (although he won 2 titles with Lyon, and finished 2nd in Serie A with AC Milan).

But in truth, it is likely that Vikash Dhorasoo is just a bitter, disgruntled footballer who spent only 16 minutes on the pitch in World Cup 2006, and decided to make a petulant film about the experience. "The Substitute" revealed his frustration at his lack of playing time, and made public some of the behind-the-scenes discontent of Les Bleus (which, at the time, most people already knew about) during their run to the finals. His teammates were not happy that he had made their dressing-room arguments public, and Dhorasoo was (rightly) ostracized.

So, you were a disappointing midfielder who was disappointed by your lack of playing time, you went public with private disagreements, and now you are taking potshots at the living legend of French football?

Umm, va te faire.

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Nike Continues to Go Viral

A little while back we presented a viral video from Nike where Hoarau and Makelele play some foosball (it turns out that they were playing against the world champion).

They have come out with another video, this one featuring Hatam ben Arfa from Marseille pulling off an excellent move in France's second national sport, petanque (it's like bocce).

Ben Arfa trop fort à la pétanque !
by yom_

Oh, that's well done. But I'm pretty sure that my grandfather would have quit, protesting that the move was illegal.

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Sydney Govou Does Not Deal Well With Draws

Because it's French vodka, see?

After the nil-nil draw with Olympique de Marseille, Ligue 1 leaders Olympique Lyon were slightly upset that they had failed to take all 3 points and increase their lead over their 2nd-place rivals. Apparently, French international Sydney Govou took it harder than most, as he was arrested for drunk-driving later that night.

"A test showed the striker had 2.6 grammes of alcohol per litre of blood, which is more than five times over the French legal limit of 0.5 grammes."

Do your own conversions - either way he was 5x over the limit! Govou's license was immediately taken, meaning that he had to take a cab to training this morning.

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Uh-Oh: Zidane Isn't Happy

Everyone knows that Zidane has kept busy, albeit with a lower profile, since retiring from footy after "the incident." He's been hilariously linked to MLS squads, been used as evidence, and been turned away from comforting his friends. In France, however, Zizou will always be a legend, and the French media continually chase after him to ask him loads of useless questions.



But this time around, Le Parisien decided to do something a little different and they got Zizou to agree to be "interviewed" by some of their readers. Some of the notable questions and answers, translated for you below:

Q: You have recently been criticized in several books, notably that of Jerome Rothen, who says that you insulted him during a European club match. What is your reaction?

A: I haven't really wanted to respond before now, since I have better things to do. With everything happening in the world today, there are more important things. (Ed. note - pretty standard so far). That's his (Rothen's) version of the story, not mine. I know where it comes from, and I've said some stupid things in my life, but on that day (emphasis mine; so, is Zizou saying that he has insulted Rothen on another day?) I did not say that to him. But it bothers me that this comes out in a book when we have crossed paths 5 or 6 times and he never said anything to me about it. I called him and left a message, but didn't hear back. And then I hear that he said it was all taken care of.

(Ed. note - the alleged nasty words from Zizou to Rothen were "son of a whore", which sounds awfully familiar).

Q: Your ex-teammate Emmanuel Petit wasn't very nice to you either.

A: With Petit it's the same thing, even worse because I know him so much better. I hate it when people aren't honest, and he is being a hypocrite because he does the same thing as me. I do what I want with my life.

(Ed. note - Petit has accused Zidane of "chasing money" and only doing things in retirement for large companies/events).

Q: What do you think of "La Marseillaise" being whistled at the friendlies against Morocco and Tunisia?

A: I think it is an indefensible act.

Q (follow-up): Do you think it is a reflection of the difficulties in France regarding immigration and generational issues?

A: It's like racism in the stands - it's a few people (maybe 400 or 500) who are spoiling things. I don't know how to stop it, but I don't think that stopping the match is the solution. In fact, that might make things worse.

Q: Do you miss Les Bleus?

A: I will always miss the pitch. (Ed. note - notice he didn't say that he would miss the team, as there is no love lost with Domenech). I am taking care of my family, which I haven't been able to do for 17 years. But I will return to football, since it is what I do best.

Q: Yoann Gourcuff has been touted as your successor. Is that too much weight for anyone's shoulders?

A: There will always be comparisons. Gourcuff has a brilliant future, and I love the fact that when he is on the pitch he is playing for the team.

Q: What are your impressions on the election of Barack Obama?

A: In France, people aren't ready for a black president. In terms of success for the people, it's easier to be an athlete or rapper (Ed. note - hey, just like the US!).

Q: Have you ever used a performance-enhancing drug?

A: When I was at Juventus, we all took creatine, which is prohibited in France but legal in Italy. I don't think it was dangerous.


So there you have it. Zizou doesn't care for the literary exploits of Rothen and Petit, thinks immigration in France is still a big issue but whistling the national anthem is disgraceful, feels that America has progressed further regarding civil rights, and popped creatine during his days at Juventus.

By far, the best part of the interview for me was the following:

"Est-ce que tu… est-ce que vous pensez… (Zidane l’interrompt : « Tu peux me tutoyer ». « Ah c’est cool, répond Djordje, je tutoie Zizou, t’as vu ! ».)"

This was from the person who asked him about "La Marseillaise." In France, people use the "vous" form of "you" when speaking formally or to someone whom they don't know, and the "tu" form when speaking informally or to someone they know well (although there are generational differences in these patterns, with youngsters more likely to use "tu" for everyone). So, basically, the reader starts to ask the question using the informal "tu", catches himself and then starts over using "vous." But Zizou interrupts him and tells him that he doesn't have to be so formal, and the guy gets all giddy.

To be fair, if I were speaking face-to-face with Zizou and he said that to me, I think I would faint.

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Silence, Bande de Cretins!

La Marseillaise is one of the most recognizable songs in the world, and is generally considered to be the greatest national anthem ever written. The lyrics recount the struggle during the French Revolution, and are filled with vivid imagery such "May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows."

Now, we French take the sanctity of the French language very seriously, even enacting a law (Loi Toubon) to protect against the infiltration of non-French words into French society. This goes back as far as 1635, when Cardinal Richelieu established L'Academie Francaise to act as the official authority on all matters concerning the French language. So what does all this mean?

Like I said, we take the French language very seriously.



Yesterday (Tuesday, October 14th), France played against Tunisia in a friendly. Although the match was played in Paris at the Stade de France, many of the 60,000 spectators were Tunisian. Given the history of French colonialism, this is not surprising. However, given the context of that history, it should not have come as a shock that many of the Tunisian supporters whistled during the playing of La Marseillaise.

In France, as in much of Europe, whistling is extremely derogatory and is considered even more offensive than booing. This has happened before, against Algeria in October 2001 and against Morocco in November 2007 (both friendlies, and both against former French colonies).



This time, the opposing supporters took things even further, whistling at Hatem ben Arfa as he was announced. Ben Arfa was born in France to Tunisian parents, and the Tunisian Football Association spent a great deal of time trying to convince him to play for that national team, which was obviously unsuccessful. While Domenech stated that he was "moved" by the beautiful singing of both national anthems by several franco-tunisian women, he claimed that he simply ignored the negative energy from the crowd.

The rest of France, however, did not. Prime Minister François Fillon called the whistling "insulting for France and the French players", while Bernard Laporte, the ministerial secretary of state for sport, was quoted as saying that France should no longer play friendly matches against their North African former colonies. After meeting with President Nicolas Sarkozy, French Sports Minister Roslyne Bachelot stated that in the future any matches at which La Marseillaise was interrupted by poor sportsmanship would be stopped immediately. She went on to state:

"Government members will immediately leave the arena where our national anthem has been whistled. When whistling of our antional anthem happens, all friendly games with the country concerned will be suspended for a period yet to be determined by the federation president."

Unfortunately, Jean-Marie Le Pen also felt the need to open up his yap. The far-right (way far right) mouthpiece declared that the whistling of La Marseillaise was a sign that the multicultural experiment of France is not working.

I've discussed before the appelation of the national team as "Les Blacks, Blancs, et Beurs", a concept of which Le Pen is not fond. Incidents such as those of yesterday simply give this asinine man even more ammunition for his National Front party ramblings.

Certainly, the history of French colonialism in North Africa is a painful one (on both sides), and it is understandable that resentment against racism (both state-supported and individual) is present.

But really, how can you boo the greatest national anthem ever written?

To recap:

If you are English and boo Cashley Cole, that is acceptable.

If you are anyone and you disrespect La Marseillaise, we will hunt you down and beat you with a baguette. Or maybe we'll just take our ball and go home.

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Cher Philippe Mexes: Va Te Faire

These two have a lot in common.

World Cup 2010. South Africa. All of us here at UF would love to attend some matches there, particularly if we were able to root on our favorite team. For qualifying matches, France was placed in Group 7, receiving a relatively favorable draw. Their opponents within the group include Serbia, Lithuania, Faroe Islands, Romania, and Austria. Their first qualifying match was yesterday, against the latter, a team so poor that its own fans petitioned to have it drop out of Euro 2008 for fear of embarassment. What could possibly go wrong?


Well, I suppose we could always lose 3-1 to a shitty team to start our WC 2010 qualifying push. We could give up a cheap goal (thanks, Philippe!) just 9 minutes into the match, and then give up another one right before half-time. When we pull back within a goal (thank you, Sidney. Really), we can then give up a PK just 10 minutes (thanks again, Philippe!). Want to see how it all happened? Check out this fantastic video.




In a stunning turn of events, Mexes actually acknowledged that he played like shite and was responsible for the loss. In a not-so-surprising turn of events, Domenech acted like nothing was wrong. It is generally believed that Raymond was given a minimum number of points to be achieved from the first 3 qualifying matches, and it is likely that the total was 5 points. So, I'm torn - engage in "fan-tanking" and root for another loss (or for 2 ties, or for a win and tie) in the next 2 matches and hope that leads to Domenech being fired, or hope we become a little more successful in qualifying matches and deal with Raymond for 2 more years.

I can't bring myself to root against Les Bleus, so I have to hope that Domenech pulls his head out of his ass and starts to actually manage this team. A good start would be to FUCKING PLAY GAEL CLICHY!

I hate you Domenech, and Mexes, you're now on the watch list.

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It Was in the Stars for Domenech

By now I am sure that you all know how I feel about Raymond Domenech, particularly after France's poor performance at Euro 2008. I mean, really, does this man look capable of competent management?

Nice smile, douchebag.

So what does La Federation Francaise de Football do to me?



They fucking retain Domenech as coach! Yes, he had 2 years left on his contract and it would have cost us money, but is he really the man to lead us into South Africa 2010? He completely lost control of his team during Euro 2008, and his decisions were a tactical nightmare. Yet, for some reason he retained the support of some of France's more notable (current) players, including Vieira, Ribery, Benzema, and Ben Arfa (whom Domenech didn't even take to Euro 2008!). However, Zizou had prominently called for his dismissal, supporting his old teammate Didier Deschamps for the position.

Even more stunning, the vote to keep Domenech was 18-0 (with one abstention)! What are these council members smoking? FFF president Jean-Pierre Escalettes and council members Frederic Thierrez (Ligue1 president) and Gerard Houllier (FFF technical director) all came out in a strong display of public support for Domenech, which obviously influenced the other members of the committee. So, it seems that we are stuck with Raymond the astrologer through the end of World Cup 2010.

Reached for comment, Didier Deschamps replied "Merde."

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La Fin du Monde? Ou La Fin de Raymond?

As everyone is aware by now, I am the resident UF Frenchman. I am sure that you are also aware that France lost to Italy 2-0 yesterday and was eliminated from Euro 2008. As you might imagine 2 + 2 = 4, and I am an unhappy camper. To make it worse, Cardillo took some cheap shots over on Deadspin today with some lame French jokes. Needless to say, I was not happy about that either. So what does this all mean?

This time, there was no Trezeguet to return the favor to Titi.

Alright, what does it mean besides the crying?

In France today, there was much gnashing of teeth and ululations of grief (man, I'm a fucking poet) over the lackluster performance of Les Bleus. Three games, two goals, one man. Titi managed to score one goal for France (against the irrepressible Dutch) and one goal for Italy (against France!). To be fair, it was clear that the French arrived on the pitch a bit shaken up yesterday, due to their arrival shenanigans at the stadium in Zurich.

Our worst fears for the match were confirmed when Ribery went down from a gunshot on the grassy knoll. However, Domenech shockingly responded in an intelligent manner by putting in Samir Nasri (who should have been starting for Toulalan in the first place, dammit!). But the future Gunner had only 16 minutes on the pitch after Abidal (starting in place of the ancient Thuram) was awarded a straight red card. The penalty kick was converted, giving Italy a 1-0 lead, and ensuring that France had to score 2 goals in order to advance out of the group. Domenech, in a bout of sheer lunacy, decided to replace Nasri with Jean-Alain Boumsong (insert shambolic EPL defender joke here). OK, Raymond, let me get this straight. With Ribery out, Nasri is clearly our best midfielder on the pitch. We are down to 10 men, and we need 2 goals. And you respond by taking off our greatest offensive threat from the midfield to insert another defender? It didn't matter if we lost 1-0 or 17-0, we were still going home! We needed 2 goals! Ca ne va pas, non?

But worry, not, fair folks. While the rest of France was in a deep despair, Domenech was having himself a grand old time by ignoring questions about the match, instead proposing to his 31-year old girlfriend. If only Chris Myers had been there.

The overwhelming majority of French football fans that I have spoken to hope that this is the last straw for Domenech, who has 2 years left on his contract. Since replacing Jacques Santini after Euro 2004, Domenech has lead France to the World Cup Final match against Italy in 2006 (losing on PKs) and to a first-round exit in Euro 2008 (tying Romania, losing to the Netherlands, and losing to Italy). The French Football Federation has announced that they will be making a decision on Domenech's future with the team by July 3rd (I would link to the official FFF website, but, well, it's in French and you Philistines couldn't read it). So hopefully on July 4th, I will have two reasons to celebrate.

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France Plays A Tune-Up Match

Titi, seen here crying about the fact that he missed the match against Romania, told coach Raymond Domenech that he needed a bit of practice in order to determine his fitness for tomorrow's match against The Netherlands. Domenech consulted his astrology charts and gave it a big "Allons-y!" Join me after the jump for the details of this hard-fought match.





This past Tuesday, as the starting XI for Les Bleus were resting after their exhausting nil-nil draw with Romania, Domenech let the "reserves" run loose. Their opponent? Nothing but the best - they faced off against an All-Star team of...Under-18 year-olds from local clubs Neuchâtel Xamax FC and FC Fribourg? Okay, so it wasn't exactly high-level competition, but these kids got the practice of their lives facing off against Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira and Patrice Evra. The youngsters even set off the action early, forcing a "world-class save" from keeper Sebastien Frey. In the other goal, Mike Piller made one-on-one saves against Titi and Bafetimbi Gomis, although he was eventually beaten for 7 straight goals. Despite the 7-0 loss, the kids seemed in high spirits to have gotten a chance to play against some of Europe's finest.

And Titi got in a little practice for tomorrow.

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Euro 2008 Team Profiles: France (UPDATE!)

As the resident Frenchman here at UF, I naturally took it upon myself to conduct the Euro 2008 preview for the French national team. This was mostly to avoid the barrage of jokes sure to be present had anyone else been allowed to write this preview. But also because I have an unnatural man-love for Gael Clichy.

UPDATE: After cutting down his roster on May 18th, Domenech has finally revealed the final roster for the Euro 2008 team. Look after the jump to see how many I got correct.

France enters the Euro 2008 competition 7th in the current FIFA rankings, having barely qualified for the competition by 2 points over Scotland (to whom they lost twice in qualifying - apparently we fear kilts). Les Bleus are the only national team besides Germany to have won more than one European Championship, winning in 1984 (when the competition was held in France), and again in 2000 (beating Italy in the finals in the Netherlands).

In Euro 2008 France was placed in Group C with Romania (game on 6/9), the Netherlands (game on 6/13), and Italy (game on 6/17). France drew 0-0 with the latter in qualifying, after beating them 3-1 in an earlier qualifying match.

Although he has publicly stated that he will not name his team until May 18, it is expected that coach Raymond Domenech will bring the following players to Euro 2008:

(GK) Gregory Coupet; Mickael Landreau

(DEF) Willy Sagnol; Lillian Thuram; William Gallas; Eric Abidal; Gael Clichy;
Phillipe Mexes; Patrice Evra

(MID) Patrick Vieira; Claude Makelele; Franck Ribery; Florent Malouda; Samir Nasri;
Hatem Ben Arfa; Jerome Rothen; Alou Diarra

(ST) Thierry Henry; Nicolas Anelka; Karim Benzema; Sidney Govou

UPDATE: The actual squad (my picks in bold) chosen by Domenech is:

(GK) Gregory Coupet (Lyon); Sebastien Frey (Fiorentina); Mandanda (Marseille)

(DEF) Willy Sagnol (Bayern Munich); Lillian Thuram (Barcelona); William Gallas (Arsenal); Eric Abidal (Barcelona); Patrice Evra (Manchester United);
Jean-Alain Boumsong (Lyon); Francois Clerc (Lyon); Sebastien Squillaci (Lyon)

(MID) Patrick Vieira (Inter Milan); Claude Makelele (Chelsea); Jeremy Toulalan (Lyon); Lassana Diarra (Portsmouth); Franck Ribery (Bayern Munich); Florent Malouda (Chelsea); Samir Nasri (Marseille)

(ST) Sidney Govou (Lyon); Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea); Thierry Henry (Barcelona);Karim Benzema (Lyon); Bafetimbi Gomis (Saint-Etienne)

If you're keeping score at home (and I know you are), that's 15 out of 23 correct, for a 65% accuracy rating. While I am not surprised by the exclusion of Mickael Landrau, given that PSG was on the verge of relegation this year, I am somewhat befuddled by the choices of: (1) Boumsong over Clichy (did I mention I have a man-crush on him?); (2) Diarra over either Flamini or ben Arfa; and (3) Gomis over Djibril Cisse, although Gomis was the first player since Zizou to score a brace in his international opener (against Ecuador yesterday).





And now for the important questions:

(1) Could England beat this team? Don't be ridiculous! The last 3 meetings between France and England have resulted in France 1 - England 1 (international friendly), France 2 - England 1 (Euro 2004), and France 1 - England 0 (international friendly).

(2) Can they win Euro 2008? Of course they can! Ladbrokes currently has France at 9-1 odds to win the competition.

(3) What is their pre-made excuse for not winning Euro 2008? Youth and age? This is our first international competition in over a decade without Zizou? We didn't feel like it?

(4) What is their biggest question mark? The chances of this team revolve around whether the wily veterans such as Gallas, Vieira, and Henry can merge well with the youth movement of Ribery, Ben Arfa, Nasri, and Benzema. While the youngsters have begun to make a name for themselves in their domestic league (and in Germany in the case of Ribery), Euro 2008 represents their best opportunity to date to burst onto the international scene. Nasri, in particular, needs to have a good tournament in order to avoid falling into the shadow of the other 3.

(5) Who is their worst player? What are you talking about? They are all brilliant players! Alright, it's Willy Sagnol. Although he has been a defensive stalwart in the past, his current age and lack of speed can be easily exposed against even middling international competition. Plus, he still rocks a porn-stache.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Team Profiles: France (UPDATE!)"...

Arsenal: Now With Even MORE Frenchiness!

That handsome young man to the left there, in that beautiful blue kit, is Samir Nasri, most recently of Olympique Marseille (l'OM). We (meaning me) have discussed Nasri before, noting that he is one of the rising stars of French soccer (note to US sportswriters - please make up your minds as to whether the "next Zinedine Zidane" is Nasri or Benzema. Also, fuck you for comparing any French player of Algerian descent to Zizou). Clearly, since I am a Frenchie Gooner, I am ecstatic about...

recent reports that Arsenal will soon complete the £11 million signing of Nasri . Arsene obviously felt that the loss of Flamini and Hleb in the middle was detrimental to the team (particularly given Flamini's rapport on the pitch with Fabregas), so he did what he does - replace one Frenchman with another. In 30 matches in Le Championnat, the midfielder had 6 goals, 10 assists, and 0 cards (aww, such a good boy). Personally, I believe that Nasri is a better midfielder than Hleb, and he is far more likely to be happy at Arsenal than Hleb was. Ultimately, Nasri most likely decided that in addition to the money, he would rather finish in 3rd place and 4 points out with Arsenal than finish in 3rd place and 15 points out with l'OM. Truth be told, Arsenal has a far better chance of winning the EPL (suck it, Barclays) than Marseille does of winning Le Championnat (stupid Lyon).

Below, some video of Nasri doing his thing, with a bonus French rap soundtrack.

(*update* - new video, due to stupid YouTube copyright blah, blah)

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These New Kits are Fantastic!

La Federation Francaise de Football annonce aujourd'hui que nous avons...Quoi? Anglais? Mais, pourquoi ils ne parlent pas francais? Sigh. Stupid English-speaking troglodytes. D'accord, en anglais alors.

Join me after the jump for this wonderful announcement about the superiority of French football. Even if you're English. (Les Anglais savent lire?)

Today we have taken a big step in reminding the world that Les Bleus play the best football in the world. (Quoi? Soccer? Ah non, pas ca encore! Les Americains peuvent l'appeller football).

Although we have been sponsored by adidas since 1972, we have never felt comfortable being so closely associated with a German company (Les Allemands sont des imbeciles). So, beginning in 2011 and continuing through the 2017/2018 season, we will be sponsored by Nike. This means that we will retain the adidas national team kits for the 2008 European Championships and the 2010 World Cup (oui, oui, si on y arrive. Ne t'inquete pas).

Adidas did make an attractive offer, but we feel that Nike is the future of French football (mais bien sur c'est beaucoup plus d'argent). We also fielded an offer from Airness, as we looked to support a French company, but their products are better suited to our former colonies.

The Nike deal will pay 320 million Euros ($506 million), which amounts to 42.6 million Euros ($63.4 million) per year. In addition, as a sign of respect for the brilliance that is French football, the deal will also pay 2.5 million Euros ($3.75 million) per year for equipment and additional bonuses for performance in the European Championship and the World Cup (qu'on va gagner, bien sur).

As you can see, this deal is much more favorable than the current 10 million Euros ($15 million) per year that we are making with adidas.

More importantly, this Nike deal represents their greatest investment in any football team, well above the 13 million Euros ($19.25 million) per year that they provide to the Brazil national team (c'est ca l'effet de gagner la Coupe du Monde en 1998 et d'etre en final en 2006).

So, please remember that la Federation Francaise de Football continues to represent the best football in the world (reviens, Titi!) and we are happy that Nike has confirmed our status.

- Michel Platini*

*Not really

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Zidane to Transfer to US Team

From the Detroit Free Press:

French soccer legend Zinedine Zidane is once again being mentioned in transfer rumours to make his debut on the US soccer scene. Zizou, as he is known the world over, retired from club soccer in 2006 and retired from international soccer immediately after the 2006 World Cup. That was the World Cup, of course, that ended with Zizou being issued a red-card for headbutting Italy's Marco Materazzi and being forced to watch his country lose the World Cup Finals on penalty kicks.

Ever since the end of the World Cup and the implementation of MLS' "Beckham Rule", Zidane has been rumoured to be coming to the US. He has been linked to the LA Galaxy, the Chicago Fire, and even Red Bull NY (who had 2 designated player slots available). However, all of these deals fell through either due to financial constraints or to the fact that Zizou never really wanted to play there in the first place. However, sources close to the Detroit Free Press have indicated that talks are heating up again, and Zizou is very close to signing a deal which will bring him to the Midwest.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the Maestro to arrive!

HT to Bigus Dickus for snapping this photo of Zizou in action at his new home.

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La Nouvelle Generation des Bleus

Hey! What's that French stuff doing on here? Well, this site has had a distinctly British flavor to it since we began, so I thought that I would introduce the new generation of French soccer stars to our readers (all 17 of you). These youngsters are looking to follow in the footsteps of the immortals - Just Fontaine, Michel Platini, Eric Cantona, Zinedine Zidane, and Thierry Henry.


Franck Ribery (born April 1, 1983) - Ribery started his youth soccer with his hometown club of US Boulogne, and eventually moved on to FC Metz, Galatasaray, Olympique Marseille, and in June 2007 he signed with FC Bayern Munich. In 2006, he won the French Ligue 1 Young Player of the Year award. So far this year, in 16 Bundesliga matches he has 4 goals.

Mathieu Flamini (born March 7, 1984) - Flamini played his youth soccer at Olympique Marseille, and signed with Arsenal in 2004. He has helped Cesc Fabregas to dominate the midfield in Arsenal's EPL (eat it, Barclay's!) matches. In all competitions (32 matches), he has 4 goals.

Hatem Ben Arfa (born March 7, 1987) - Ben Arfa plays for Olympique Lyon, where he has played his entire career, including his youth soccer. In 2006 he was asked to play on the Tunisian World Cup team, as he is of Tunisian descent. Ben Arfa declined, stating that he wanted to continue the tradition of "Black, Blanc, Beur" with the French national team. In all competitions (27 matches), he has 7 goals.

Samir Nasri (born June 26, 1987) - Nasri plays for Olympique Marseille, where he has played since his days on the youth team. In 2007 he won the French Ligue 1 Young Player of the Year award, ahead of Karim Benzema. In 12 matches in Le Championnat, Nasri has 5 assists.

Karim Benzema (born December 19, 1987) - Benzema plays for Olympique Lyonnais, where he has played since his days with the Lyon youth team. In 2006 he was asked to play on the Algerian World Cup team, as his parents are Algerian immigrants. Benzema declined, noting that he watned to play on the French national team with the other young players on this list. In all competitions (32 matches), he has 20 goals. Continuing his offensive dominance, Benzema had 3 goals today against Creteil in a Coupe de France match.

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