Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

Everyone loves a bad shirt. Not to wear, mind you, but to laugh at. Every once in a while, we get tips at the email address pointing us toward some other horror. I appreciate the links, but it's rare to see a shirt I had no idea existed and am repulsed by. Yesterday brought one of those emails.

CA Spora Luxembourg existed from 1923 until 2005, when it merged with two other clubs to form Racing FC Union Luxembourg. Now that's a mouthful. Anyway, the club was moderately successful, winning the league 11 times and the cup eight times. Spora made 11 European appearances as well, even winning two matches in the process, though never advancing out of the first round.

Now that you know the background, let's look at the shirt.

Since the phantom emailer (whom I will gladly name or link to should he or she get back to me and approve) was compiling his or her own list on bad shirts, he or she will get first words on what you are looking at. (seriously, please get back to me, the "male or female" bits are the scourge of the English language)

Came across your enjoyable blog whilst compiling my own top ten of egregious football shirts. Needless to say, there was a lot of overlap, but I was surprised to find the aberration which topped my own list thus far absent from yours. I give you (with the original commentary):

1: Spora Luxembourg, early 90s. How about this for an overdose of what-the-shuddering-fuck? The broad interrupted stripes make my head spin. The lurid primary colours set my eyelid twitching. The less said about the white wedge thing, the better. But what really drives me over the edge is the beehive/cobweb/old lady's pashmina pattern on the sleeves. Christ on stilts, we have a winner!
And that's how you ingratiate yourself with us--call our blog enjoyable before you point out our failings. Easy enough?

Anyway, yes, this shirt is horrific. It comes from the 1990-91 season. Interestingly enough, this shirt appeared right after Spora won its last domestic title in 1989. Is that a coincidence? I leave you to decide for yourself.

What strikes me when looking at this shirt, beyond the obviously ugly nature of it all, it the shirt's manufacturer. We have met before. Now I have proof that they worked as poorly in color as they did in black and white. When the calenders turned to 1990, did these teams say "let's find the worst short maker imaginable and give them business"? Because Blacky was definitely that bad.

To expand on the emailer's points above, I have to note both the sleeve cuffs, which appear rather restrictive, and that horrible V-necked collar. The collar is especially bad because, right where the ladies would be able to see a tuft of manly chest hair (remember the year here), Blacky put a swatch of blue cloth. As if the morals of the day dictated that any such display of upper chest would be lawless. WASP-y behavior, to be sure.


The Fan's Attic said...

the sleeves look like an homage to Thing of Fantastic Four.

The Likely Lad said...

heartbreaking stuff.

EbullientFatalist said...

A kitten just died.