Sunday, February 1, 2009

He Calls This Move 'The Flying Unibrow'

Through some Hollywood connections, UF has obtained Jose Bosingwa's audition tape for Kung Fu Panda 2: The Paw Strikes Back.

(Video may be gone soon thanks to the EPL Gestapo.)



We've been fans of the Unibrow since his early work on the Simpsons. Amazingly, the Blues' defender wasn't carded for his choreography in Chelsea's 0-2 loss to Liverpool on Sunday and, even more unblievably, Sr. Bosingwa won't be facing discipline from the FA. The linesman said he saw the incident, which means the FA can't review it.

Still, we give high marks to Benayoun's pole dancing technique. Although, Mrs. Benayoun (is there a Mrs. Benayoun?) is probably going to wonder about the scratch marks on her husband's back tonight.

11 comments:

Mike Georger said...

Ten game suspension minimum. You want to send a message FA? That message of course being, if you don't play for United we will punish you.

Again, I don't blame players for not respecting refs when shit like this goes unnoticed.

phil said...

Big Phil is already making noise about getting Fat Frank's red rescinded; no way he's going to take a suspension for this, seeing as no card was given.

People bitch about ManU, and rightly so, but Spartak London gets away with more than their fair share, as well.

Mike Georger said...

It's my understanding that because no card was given, it can be reviewed.

phil said...

I think it can be reviewed; I was just pointing out that if Big Phil is going to kvetch about Fat Frank's suspension, he'll go the full Fergie if Bosingwa gets one, as well.

ü75 said...

My two cents--I only saw Lamp's red card on replay without sound after the game. That said, I though that they were showing an injury to Frank. He took the brunt of a full swing by Alonso to his shin. Riley's positioning must have been off.

Cech is to blame for the first goal. He looked like he was playing a back post cross. If he had anticipated a low ball to the front post--which he should have been able to see--he would have been squarely in the way of Torres' header. Not as shocking as his drop against Turkey, but troubling for Chelsea fans nonetheless.

Mike Georger said...

Let's face it, Cech hasn't been the same since the head injury.

Lampard probably shouldn't have gotten sent off.

Bosingwa should have though, that is fucking unacceptable I don't care who it is.

ü75 said...

Oh yeah, Bosingwa will be feeling the wrath of the FA on that one. Three games and a visit from the JDL, I think.

Mike Georger said...

Ben Haim moved from City to Sunderland ... whatever ... but I honest to Jebus had no clue he played for City. I mean at least Keane is going to end up back at his old club, some of these guys really take a few peg knocking when they try to move up to the big boys.

ü75 said...

Apparently I was wrong. No further action on Bosingwa.

Precious Roy said...

I think everyone has the wrong perspective on this. In 15-20 years we'll look back on this as the seminal moment in the creation of a hybrid soccer/kickboxing sport that rivals only Rollerball in popularity.

Boswinga. Pioneer. Revolutionary. Hero.

jjf3 said...

Actually, fuck the sidelines judge. I'm sickened by the thought that he watched this happen, Riley somehow WASN'T paying attention to the play in the corner (shock, I tell you, shock...), and he then didn't immediately notify Riley that it was a straight red...

Hey, jackass, they gave you that cute flag and headset/earpiece for a FUCKING REASON. I expect to see Riley running a League 1 game next week, and that dipshit running up and down the sidelines at Blue Square reserves games for the forseeable future.

Oh, and fuck FIFA for deciding that "if any ref saw it, it can't be reviewed". Dear Sepsis - focus on REAL problems in football (like, say violent behavior), and stop injecting yourself into pointless political arguments instead (yeah, CNN won't cover those, but maybe you'd actually "run" a better organization, you blathering senile fuck...).