It's Destiny! Spurs Conquer American West!

...and by conquer we mean they've signed on for a tentative "football and commercial development plan" with the San Jose Earthquakes of MLS. Apparently Steve Schmidt and Karl Rove have taken over at the Lane, because this is the lamest attempt to distract an angry/distraught public since "Who is the real Barack Obama?"

Thankfully, the English media still has a bit of its bollocks left. Like that Ma 'n' Pa outfit at Sky Sports News:

The Earthquakes will benefit from the training and coaching models of Tottenham, who currently sit bottom of the Premier League.

Great, I'd nearly forgotten. The real reason Spurs made this deal... after the jump.


Spurs statement:

"The agreement will focus on football and commercial development that will see the implementation of a best practice exchange programme, with the objective of creating a lasting bond between the two clubs."

"This agreement with San Jose Earthquakes will provide us with an excellent opportunity to access a key region in a global market,'' said Spurs executive director Paul Barber.

"As a club we are continually looking for innovative ways to evolve and our partnership with the Earthquakes will enable us to market Tottenham to a wider audience.

"We already have a fan base within the state of California and the opportunity to grow the brand in the US is very appealing."

YADA YADA. We all know the real reason...



Spurs are angling for another winger! Bigus says this could never happen, as Mr. Darren Huckerby would never return to England for fear of any untoward encounter with yellow-shirted man, woman, child, beast, or beast-child. Likely says: As long as he sits out the cup ties, this will never be an issue.

And cue the lame jokes! (ooh, they've already begun...)