The Good, The Bad, The WTF

Added value for you today, dear reader. Not only are we featuring 2 horrible USA shirts from the past, but we will also take a look at the new one that was released earlier today. All in time for the USA-Poland friendly on FSC today at 3.30. Follow along inside, if you dare.

This shirt should have had so much going for it. Instead of using the rather bland white that the US had been using (and continues to use), they went with bold stripes. Red and white, like the flag. But they screwed it up. Those waves you see, those don't come from the fact that the shirt is hanging oddly. No, those eye-strain inducing stripes are supposed to look like that. I guess if your TV had just the wrong type of vertical hold, this shirt would look fine. To everyone else, it looks horrible, though not as horrible as the other shirt to feature at USA '94.
I don't know which is worse, the pattern or the fact that the "blue" is, in fact, meant to look like denim. I'm going to go with the denim. Nothing says, "Take me seriously as a footballing nation" like denim. But, I suppose, nothing says "American" around the world like faded denim. yes, the American is well-loved around the world for the comfortable clothing he wears upon arrival. I can't really talk. Last summer, I wore Crocs throughout my trip to the continent.

Now, though, the USA is going for intimidation and evil. Look at this shirt, it's black. How much more black could it be? None more black my friend. Except for that red in the collar. What you can't see in this picture, but I assure you it's there, are the words "Don't tread on me" on the inside of the collar. Awesome. You can go here to see it (3rd inset pic). I can't wait to see how this translates to extra victories.