Sam Allardyce Is Your Delusional Ex-Girlfriend

Joining Steve McClaren in his Recently Dumped Delusional Managers Club is Big Sam Allardyce. Oh, just look at Sam babble away to Steve, Carrie and Miranda about how Newcastle wasn't big enough for him. "it didn't live up to my ambitions in the short time that I was there," said Sam as he gestured to the bartender to refill his martini glass, "And because it didn't do that the club missed a chance to realise its own ambitions."

And look, that's my head exploding!

Seriously, I haven't seen this much logical acrobatics since the Japanese justice minister argued that Europeans don't execute criminals because they don't value life.

Wait, there's more! "The more I analyse it, the more I come to the conclusion that it was never about me or results," continued Sam as Steve, Carrie and Miranda tried their awkward best to keep a straight face.

Oh, Sam. He's going to have one hell of a headache when he wakes up.

Image from Kick n Rush