Look out Edmonton, the circus is here

10 bucks says he didn't sign that himself.

It's no secret that I hate David Beckham. I've taken every possible opportunity to lay into the guy, the feckless wreck of free-kick fame, modeling, and having an ugly robot for a wife. [NSFW if you're Mormon, probably] His public speaking is overshadowed by his public fawning for whoever is England manager, and quite frankly, I'm sick of the bastard.

But I'll be damned if he doesn't keep popping up in slow news days and giving me something to rant on.

Well, here it is. People of Edmonton be forewarned: Lord Beckham cometh!

The LA Galaxy, club of Landycakes, Lalas and Gullit the Clueless, are taking bookings for their exhibition touring schedule, and the Vancouver Whitecaps are this week's winners. The two teams will meet at Edmonton's Commonwealth Stadium on May 13, and already the praise is flowing about the universe's favourite footballing retard. Gushed Whitecaps president Bob Lenarduzzi:

"No one is kidding themselves. People are coming to see David Beckham...Beckham transcends the sport of soccer."

Galaxy GM Alexei Lalas took his chance to chime in, proving that hyperbole is not just a Canadian quirk:

[This game is] a spectacle, a moment in time. You are going to see something very different. You are going to want to say that you were there on May 13."

He's right, you know. People will define their lives by the exact point in time when they were 1000 feet from a washed-up football player. It's so true. Really.

The two teams did meet last November, albeit to a crowd of only 48,172, much lower than expected due to a Beckham injury that forced the date to be rescheduled and for tickets to be refunded. The Whitecaps expect a sell-out of 60,000 strong at the game in May, a date that can also be moved if Beckham is unable to play [he's contractually obligated to play at least 45 minutes of the game at his meandering loll].

Lenarduzzi is expecting things to go well, and that this should open the door for more high-profile games at Commonwealth Stadium, like a Barcelona, Real Madrid or Chelsea. I can see the joy in Shevchenko's eyes already.

Responses on the Edmonton Journal's web site have been less than flattering so far:

Kevin
Wed, Feb 13, 08 at 06:15 PM
Save your money Edmontonians. The game here was horrible the sport of soccer is too boring to ever take off in North America. It was a complete waste of money.

tammy
Thu, Feb 14, 08 at 02:12 PM
We went to the whitecaps/galaxy game in van last nov. Was a OK show, but not worth the money we paid for it.

Doug
Thu, Feb 14, 08 at 02:28 PM
I don't understand the hype around this guy and I have little respect for soccer players in general. A player can make a fantastic move and land on his head while scoring and then get up and celebrate, but if someone touches his shin he'll fall to the ground like a little baby. There is no comparison to any soccer player to the likes of a hockey player like Ryan Smith

[Ed. Note: I believe that Doug is just Skip Bayless in disguise.]

So get hyped, Edmonton! May 13 is the date of a lifetime! Spend it with Beckham and his overhyped wizardry!