Quick Throw: Van Basten Out at Ajax

Marco Van Basten has stepped down as Ajax manager after failing to qualify for next season's Champions League. It's the first time since 2005-06 that the Amsterdam club has finished outside the Eredivisie's Top Two.

For more on a queer year in Dutch footy-- No Ajax, Feyenoord, or PSV qualifying for the CL... Steve McClaren carried off the field by supporters (as opposed to a lynch mob)-- please read the great Joep Smeets' Season in Review.

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Fabio Capello: hides his finances as well as his plan for fixing England

A while ago, we blogged on a rather innocuous story to do with Fabio Capello and his involvement with an Italian corruption probe.

It was, at the time, nothing much to write about, a throwaway post, a space-filler. His son, Pierfilippo, even gave the BBC a wonderful sound bite back in the day about the boring, humdrum nature of such investigations. Yawn. Lame. Move on.

Well, the passage of time has spiced things up a bit, because it turns out little Fabio wasn't entirely honest with the authorities when they initially called him as a witness in the Juventus case.

I'm thinking they must have asked him what his ideas were for fixing the lifeless shitdump that is the English national team, and he said he had no idea.

It's so bad that an Italian prosecutor is thinking of bringing a criminal case against Capello.

Good thing we're not in Euro '08 then, eh?

From the BBC:

"The court case, which is ongoing, relates to the GEA World sports agency. The former Juventus general manager Luciano Moggi, who was at the centre of Italy's match-fixing scandal in 2006, and Davide Lippi, son of the former Italy coach Marcello, are among the defendants.

The England coach worked under Mr Moggi at Juventus until 2006, but it was his time in charge of Roma between 1999 and 2004 which most interested the court.

In court, he denied having been put under pressure over the management of players during his time at Juventus and Roma."

It gets better:

"Mr Capello, 61, was also asked about an interview he gave to the Corriere dello Sport newspaper about GEA and their alleged monopoly of players.

In that interview the coach said he knew many players were "gravitating towards that company". But when asked further in court about the interview, and details he had given in the initial inquiry, the England coach was less forthcoming.

Mr Capello is not thought to have lied, but the prosecutor believes he was evasive and at times obstructive in the evidence he gave."

[yeah, I quoted pretty much the whole article, what of it?]

I'm sure that like most things in life, this story will dribble to a disappointing, rather mundane conclusion. However, it's not exactly a good sign when you get caught hiding something, because that obviously implies that there was something worth hiding in the first place.

It's also not good because the England team is neck-deep in enough fucking shambles as it is, and yet now their talisman, the man charged with bringing the national team back into relevance and power, is probably a fucking cheat and a liar.

In retrospect, was Steve "The Ginger Idiot" McClaren really that bad?

[On second thoughts, don't answer that]

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Won't Someone Please Think of the Children?

Did you know? During month's National Soccer Coaches Association of America convention in Baltimore (all in the game yo, all in the game), coaching rejects Steve McClaren and Gerard Houllier were somehow allowed to train our very impressionable college soccer players.

Sheesh, of all the people to give pointers. In McClaren, you have a gaffer who couldn't strategize his way up a buffet line, and in Ged, you have a guy who would draw up tactics to work his way up a buffet line and come away satisfied with a bowl of rice.*

What can I say, kids? If soccer's your career choice, then don't stay in school. Such is the dearth of coaching minds in college soccer that men like McClaren and Houllier are sought for wisdom. Seriously, get out while you can! If you can't cut it in MLS, learn Norwegian and get on the next plane to Europe. Anywhere but NCAA soccer!

*In fairness to Houllier, he's actually a very good tactician and his time at Liverpool was more positive than not. It's just that his conservative tactics made the inability to meet unreasonable expectations even more depressing. But once you get past his well-publicized and expensive busts like Diouf, his transfer record's certainly no worse than Rafa's - after all, he bought the players who would form the backbone of the 2001 treble team and the 2005 Champions Cup winners, not to mention nurturing Gerrard and selling Fowler for 11 million pounds.

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Security, Please Escort the Freckled Man off the Premises

You know that guy at your office? The one who was fired three months ago, but keeps showing up anyway? He'll come in unannounced, gives unsolicited advice to his replacement, gives lectures about "that's not the way we do things around here", and otherwise acts like he wasn't fired for turning everything he turned into crap? You know that guy? Of course you don't! Because that guy would have to be pretty delusional to think anything he says would be taken seriously.

Unless of course, you happen to work at the Football Association and "that guy" is Steve McClaren.

He thought he'd be ever so helpful to his much, much more qualified replacement, telling us Fab Cap must (must!) hand the captain's armband to John Terry. If you feel like you've read this post before, it's because, well, you have. He just won't shut up!

Look, I'm not going to take anger management advice from O.J. Simpson, nor will I take pointers from Alan Greenspan on how to manage the interest rates, and Fabio Cappello certainly won't take anything Second Choice Steve says without a grain, nay, a sack of salt. And really, John Terry? The same Terry who missed the match that essentially got McClaren canned, but was fit enough to start 3 days later for Chelsea? That's some serious commitment to the national team, right there.

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Those Who Can't Do, Offer Expert Analysis

At least he has his good looks. (photo from the BBC)

Since when did getting fired from a job make you an expert on the very job you failed to perform?

Steve McClaren is more annoying now than when he actually held a meaningful position. There goes Second Choice Steve, giving a world class coach advice on how to win "the England way" (what exactly does he know about winning, England way or otherwise?). There he goes again, saying Beckham deserves to get his 100th cap, nevermind that Becks would have gotten the century mark under his stewardship if he hadn't insisted on leaving him off his squad until way too late in the Euro qualifying campaign or sucking as a coach.

So when I scour the headlines, just seeing the name "McClaren" causes my eyes to go into a Pavlovian roll. And sure enough, the is spouting crap again:

The MLS is developing but it’s not of the standard required for international football.

That's odd, because less than six months ago, McClaren had this to say about the league's level of play after watching Becks in his first MLS match:

It was a good standard. It was possibly Championship top half, lower Premier... I understand the concerns, but he will be OK. Maybe playing in central midfield, he will get more of the ball, do more running and get more involved and that might help him.

Gosh, someone's a lot more candid now that he doesn't have any bridges to burn, isn't he? And really, the Premiership's just doing a bang up job of developing goalies and strikers.

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Slow news day?

This morning the BBC ran this piece.

Apparently Steve McClaren backs Fabio Capello to succeed. Does any one care what McClown thinks? He has no credibilty in the game anymore and was fired for being a complete failure! His inept decisions brought English international football to an all time low. Shame on the BBC for this one. Its a pointless story and a waste of web space.

I find this quote extremely tough to stomach....

"I think he will be a success as long as he grasps the English culture and English mentality and how England win games."

Oh really? He needs to understand how to win games Steve? He needs to be able to translate his ideas to the players?

McClaren is obviously an expert on this topic. Hey Beeb. Why don't you go and interview George Bush. He has some foreign policy advice for this years election hopefuls.

- Bigus.

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