Salomon Kalou puts the FA in a figure-four leglock

Spartak London "striker" Salomon Kalou scored twice at the weekend, seemingly defying the laws of nature in doing so (he's not that good, you see).

And yet, the most reported-on aspect of his feat was the celebration for Goal #1, an arms-crossed salute (with fellow Ivorian Didier Drogba in close attendance) that looked, to some, an awful lot like something political. The FA doesn't take kindly to those making statements on the pitch, whether with hand gestures or scribble on an undershirt, but fear not: Kalou has a response!

Was it a sign of solidarity to jailed Ivory Coast activist Antoine Assale Tiemoko? Of course not -- it was a tribute to the WWE!

Said Salomon:

"I don't even know this guy [Tiemoko]. That has nothing to do with football. Why should I celebrate for him? It was crossed arms, not wrists, [the celebration was] about my strength."

It appears that John Cena pulls a similar move right before finishing his opponents, and Kalou, the massive wrestling fan that he is, decided to use his goal-scoring to show it off.

Will the FA buy it? Probably, as they'll buy anything. As much as they love doling out punitive punishments for ill words spoken against referees, surely they'll let Salomon off the hook.

So, to summarize: not politics, but pro wrestling. Word has it that other Spartak players are catching on. For example, the next time Drogba scores, he'll DDT Florent Malouda.

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Nice To Meet You Too!

And all the world was blue...

To think we were all ready to downgrade the Newcastle story to Soap Opera status! You had current owner Mike Ashley getting photographed on a wicked NYC bender as the club was falling to pieces back home yawn... There was that poignant notice from post-bender Mr. Ashley about how he was going to sell the club to the first group to meet his price bo-ring!... Then some story about a Nigerian group swooping in to meet that offer (now I know where all my cabfare's been going!), but alas snoooze...

Then came along Gentleman Joe Kinnear. An Irish Spurs man as player (well he's still Irish), Kinnear had not spent a week as interim manager at St. James Park before providing the what really might be the greatest off-day press conference in the history of modern sport.

Hop the jump for the transcript. And remember, Kinnear will not actually manage a match until October 20. Seems the FA hit him with a two-game ban four years ago when he was managing Nottingham Forest. Gentleman Joe had been reported for calling a referee "Coco the Clown" during one of his last matches at the City Ground.

And did I mention he referred to Newcastle "star" Geremi as "Jeremiah" just after taking his new job.

Also, the beebs has the actual audio, though I'd recommend the Guardian edition-- Kinnear v. The Press as recited by Computers.


Ok. Here Goes. Personal favorites in bold! (I'm happy for you cos you get to read this right now.)

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

Simon Bird: Me.

JK: You're a cunt.

SB: Thank you.

JK: Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] fucked off.

SB: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?

JK: I've fucking read it, I've read it.

SB: It doesn't say that. Have you read it?

JK: You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.

SB: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.

JK: Fuck off. Fuck off. It's your last fucking chance.

SB: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.

JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?

SB: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.

JK: You are negative bastards, the pair of you.

SB: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?

JK: It is none of your fucking business. What the fuck are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a fucking manager. Fucking day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?

SB: No, you can listen to who you want.

JK: I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.

SB: Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.

JK: No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.

SB: What? More important things?

JK: What are you? My personal secretary? Fuck off.

SB: You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday. You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them.

JK: I was meeting the fucking chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.

SB: It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.

JK: I can't trust any of you.

Niall Hickman: Joe, no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first-team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.

JK: My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.

NH: But why Monday, no one could believe it?

JK I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You are delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted, are you?

NH: Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?

JK: I have done it before. It is going to my fucking lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not fucking about. I don't talk to fucking anybody. It is raking up stories. You are fucking so fucking slimy you are raking up players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is fucking sensible. Anyone who had played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some cunt that ...

Random journalist-like onlooker: How long is your contract for Joe?

JK: None of your business.

Simon Bird (He's back. Love this guy...): Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six to eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a dead simple question. And you don't know ...

JK: I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to fucking hide, he's trying to do this or that.

Here follows some meandering talk about actual football operations.

Back to the good stuff. Enter stage left: the worst press officer ever.

Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun): We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people cunts?

JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libelous, it is going to where I want it to go.

Newcastle Press Officer: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside. hahahahahahaaaa ahahahaha. Doesn't work that way big fella

Someone: Well, is that what Joe thinks?

JK: Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't affect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy [Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can fuck off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has been written about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.

Someone: It's only been a week.

JK: Exactly. It feels more like a year.

Someone: It's early days for you to be like this.

JK: No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.

Someone: But this isn't going to do you or us any good.

JK: I'll speak to the supporters. (This is like Sarah Palin saying she'd rather speak "directly to the American people." It's code for "fuck you reporters, no more interviews!"0 I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me ... I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load of bollocks ..."

Someone: "Bollocks to that" is what you said.

JK: Bollocks to that. And what goes after that?

Journalist: That was it.

JK: No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?

Journalist: I don't know.

JK: It even had the cheek to say "bollocks to Newcastle".

Journalist: I didn't write that.

JK: That was my first fucking day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?

Journalist: Where was that? Which paper said that?

JK: I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.

Journalist: But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.

JK: I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that?

Journalist: Are you saying that someone has reported you saying "bollocks to Newcastle?"

JK: Yes. Lovely.

Journalist: I don't know who's reported that.

JK: I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.

Journalist: That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.

JK: So have I. But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't fucking bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap. Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.

Journalist: You know, you know the game ...

JK: Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.

Journalist: Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're cunts, we can all fuck off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?

JK: Do it. Fine. Fucking print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.

Again, there's some actual football talk now to interrupt the fun.

Idiot Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.

Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.

IPO: I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said and try and move on.

Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?

IPO: No, to doing something now.

Journalist: What, one press conference only?

(Silence)

Now go towel off. That was a lot for one sitting.

Read more on "Nice To Meet You Too!"...

The Real Mouth of the South.

I was absolutely dumbfounded this morning when I saw the arrogant, ridiculous comments that Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon made yesterday. This clumsy, loud-mouthed arse clown really needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. 16 Premier League chairman would love to help him do that, I am sure.

The forever attention seeking Kenyon thinks that clubs outside of the Premiership top 4 need to "get their houses in order" if the perceived lack of competition in the Premier League is to be addressed.

Un F------ believable. Where does this man find the balls? So how do you get your house in order? Well if you are Chelsea here's how...

1: Sell out to a billionaire owner.

2: Hike up the ticket prices and screw the fans who have been coming for years... Start by selling F.A Cup tickets to corporate 'fans' while the real ones line up on the street for 24 hours unaware that will be disappointed.

3: You spend, spend, spend! Spend aforementioned billionaire's money. Lots of it. Spend 578 million quid. In doing so, you over-inflate the market so other teams cannot compete with your billionaire's fantastical urges to taste victory.

4: You tap up young players that have signed for someone else so they go into hiding while you use your financial muscle to obtain the player and dispute his previous agreement with fancy high priced lawyers. Pay the kid more than your rival was offering and shower his dad with gifts. (allegedly!)

5: Be sure to pay the highest wages in the land for your new superstars. Out do all-comers and pay crazy wages for squad members who ride the bench. Pay top dollar for you megastars while they play in front of an old stadium filled with corporate arseholes who think Gianfranco Zola and Peter Osgood are on the pitch.

6: Sit back and watch as over 500 million quids worth of transfers, agent fees and wages choke spectacularly in the Champions League final after losing out on the Premier League title days earlier.

Kenyon's large mouth needs to be sewn shut. He is to football what Chemical Ali was to Saddam Hussein's Iraq.

Without a billionaire using your club as his personal plaything, the reality of "getting your house in order" involves paying bills based on income. Based of affordable wages and transfer fees financed with money from the gate, the club shop, local advertisers and from television appearances.

It also involves spending what you can afford and not threatening your clubs financial future by burdening it with debt. If you are Bolton and play to smaller gates in a small town, running your club sensibly, how can you possibly compete with a megalomaniac billionaire who sits in his luxury pulpit scanning the team sheet as I scan my fantasy baseball team online? It's simple...You cannot.

Kenyon is an irresponsible moron. A smarmy bald mouthpiece. His outbursts are an embarrassment to common sense an his harmful echolalia threatens every club in the country that manages on a budget supported by reason and business sense, without a billionaire to pay the bills! Kenyon lives in the World of pure fantasy. A world that Newcastle, West Brom and Stoke City know nothing of.

Peter Kenyon is so far removed from reality that his ginormous noise making funnel threatens grass roots football and small clubs in every town and city across the United Kingdom.

This northern monkey douche bag has no idea what football is about. Well Peter, put down your 10 quid cup of coffee and listen up.

It's about Hull reaching the Premiership.

It's about Reading reaching Europe. Barnsley making the semi of the F.A cup, remember that pal?.

It's about Yeovil with back to back promotion seasons.

It's about Jimmy Glass and Dean Windass.

It's about local heroes offering hope in return for a lifetime of loyalty, a concept that Chelsea's corporate crowd will never understand.

It's not about fantasy football for the self indulgent few who can afford to buy Kaka for their own personal kicks. It's about people. The people who spend their hard-earned money on the latest Doncaster Rovers shirt and the Charlton fans who scrape the pennies together so they can travel to Sheffield with their kids.

Its about a filled-to-capacity Carrow Road, a full London Rd and a full St James's Park. St James's Parks in Newcastle and Exeter. It's about kids believing in their local team and believing in the players that wear their badge. It is not about one man's desire for success, turning a football club in south London into a mere facade of what it really is and has been.

Chelsea's history is long gone. They are now just an emotionless entity that represents all that is wrong in football. They make a farce of the game by splashing several hundred million on the World's best players who play Champions League ties in front of 5000 empty seats that cant be given away over the radio.

Kenyon needs to get his own house in order and sell out Stamford Bridge for Champions League and League Cup games before opening that gaping hole in his face every 5 minutes to point out everyone else's problems.

If Abramovich died tomorrow, Chelsea would be done. They would not be able to buy the players, pay the wages and afford to wave their middle finger at the supporters they have shafted in recent times. They would need every dime. The players would be gone, the caviar-munching Zola watchers would be gone, the facade would be lifted and Chelsea FC would fall back to earth with a bump. The international shirt sales would decrease as glory chasers is the U.S and the Far East look for new winners.

If "getting your house in order" means risking 100 years of history, local pride and the collective passion and joy of a community then Kenyon can keep his house. Because it's one built on a foundation of bullshit instead of concrete.

- Bigus.

Read more on "The Real Mouth of the South."...

Italian football clubs love Captain Jack Sparrow

EXCLUSIVE picture of Sam Allardyce in disguise, loitering outside Fiorentina's training ground with a notepad

Serie A clubs Palermo and Reggina are upset with the EPL, and by gosh by golly, they've dusted off their finest similes to prove it.

Apparently, EPL teams are "pirates taking treasures", a phrase referring to the apparent practice of English sides poaching young players from foreign academies who haven't yet signed as professionals.

Finally! The whinging Italians can bite their tongues no longer!

I'm must admit that I'm a touch confused, but I'll bite. Tell me more, UEFA president/twat Michel Platini:

"The first contract a player signs should be with the club who trains him.
I really don't like it when a club like Lugano, Geneve, Brescia or Nancy train a player and then when they are 16 they are bought by much richer clubs. We're going to fight it."

The eloquence continued with Reggina president Lillo Foti:

"It's a barbaric attitude that shows no respect to other clubs who work with dedication to develop young players.

Once upon a time there was pillaging, and this is something similar, in that there are still wild people who use their power to reach their objectives.

In some respects it's a type of corruption - they've corrupted the family, they've corrupted the boy."

Now we're getting somewhere. The Italian clubs are taking umbrage with the fact that the EPL routinely signs 16- and 17-year-olds from around the world to finish their development in England before unleashing them on the league [Cristiano Ronaldo, anyone?]. While they may have a point, it's hard to think that this sudden sharing of opinions is unconnected to the recent manhandling of Serie A clubs at the hands of the Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool.

Realistically, I can see this story going for quite some time. The general xenophobia exhibited by smug English journalists towards American EPL club owners is spilling over to Europe, and it won't be long before we see these provincial attitudes get around the homegrown players who are being kept on the sideline because of international superstars in the starting lineup.

To quote South Park:"THEY'RE TAKING OUR JAAAAAEEERRRRBBBBSSS"

The thing is that prominent figures in the English game are taking it from the other perspective, using the phenomenon to gripe about the stunted development of native players in the English youth system.

Sir Trevor Brooking, the FA's point-man on home development [good luck!]:

"When we set up the academies, we understood the challenge (posed by clubs) bringing in the best overseas talent in the older age groups.

What we didn't quite understand is that that would start to fill up the academy areas and stifle the growth there.

Longer term it is extremely worrying."

Sorry Trevor, but it's the nature of this wonderful global business game that the FA is profiting off to infinity and beyond. You can't complain about the prominence of foreigners in the league from one side of your mouth, while celebrating record profits for the league and revenue for the FA out of the other.

It doesn't quite work that way!

I am very intrigued to see where this goes, and more than anything, I just hope we get a lot more pirate metaphors.

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Stephane Henchoz: Genius

Since leaving Anfield, Stephane Henchoz has become a smart man. I'd almost call him a guru, but he is Swiss, and they're not good for much these days.

While sitting on the sidelines at Blackburn with a nasty knee injury, he's gained a remarkable amount of wisdom, and demonstrated his intellect today in the press.

According to ol' Stephane, Liverpool will never win while they're so reliant on their stars.

Fucking brilliant.

He of course refers to the Gerrard/Torres partnership that's been the only bright spot in an otherwise dingy season. The pair have linked up extremely well for Fernando's first season in England, accounting for 46 goals this season, 30 in the EPL. Not only that, but that's Torres' best scoring record in his career for a single season.

And yet, by and large, the rest of the team stinks. What good is a Torres when you have a Pennant or a Kewell responsible for getting him the fucking ball?

Henchoz goes on, in his best Professor X voice:

"If Gerrard and Torres are not playing at their best, you hardly see where the goals are coming from. They probably need two or three very good players if they want to compete."

And, referring to Rafa's rotation:

"The rotation system sometimes in the league was not the best. They drew too many times and if they kept their best XI, they would have won a few more games."

It's no secret that Henchoz and Benitez never got on well while together at Liverpool, but Stephane, for all his piss and vinegar, does have a point. A very obvious one.

I am made nauseous every week by Rafa's scheming and tinkering with the lineup, not to mention the fact that as goes Gerrard/Torres, so goes the rest of the team. Who else is going to score? Babel's the only other possibility I can drum up.

And so, on a slow news day, Henchoz gets his gob in the press, and for all the piss-taking, I couldn't agree more. The EPL is not a league built for one-man teams, or even two- or three-man ones. That's why we're fourth. Fuck.

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BBC Wales: controversy-free for the FA Cup semi-final

The BBC is about to hand over its FA Cup semi-final broadcasting rights to ITV and Setanta, and what better way than to say goodbye with mild controversy?

Leighton James, the BBC Wales pundit scheduled to participate in the Cardiff/Barnsley broadcast, has been axed "for the foreseeable future" from his regular TV work after his most recent column in the South Wales Evening Post was published.

Why was he axed?

Because he hates Cardiff City.

There's something to be said for being partisan in the media. It rarely happens much anymore, as everyone tries desperately and unashamedly to cater to the middle [except in the murky mire of Cable 24-hour news, perhaps], and Leighton James is caught up in that mess.

His quote:

"To see Cardiff in the final would be hard to take for Swansea fans. So, to be brutally honest, I think I'm behind Barnsley on this one."

Seems fairly innocuous, and honesty's to be applauded, right?

Not so much.

James is a longtime Swansea fan who played for them in the 80s, and was referring to Barnsley manager Simon Davey, a man who was born in Swansea and who also spent three years at the club.

It didn't help James' case that he's serving a drink-driving ban currently, and that he echoed his sentiments on the commercial Real Radio station.

The BBC's rather bland comment:

"By mutual agreement, Leighton James will not be participating in any BBC Wales programmes for the foreseeable future."

Such a shame. I mean, it's not like Setanta ever uses Chelsea fans to pontificate on Arsenal games, or, better example, using Buckeye apologist Brent Musberger as a commentator on Penn State games.

BBC Wales thinks differently, but at least they can't stop Leighton James from rooting for the Tykes from the comfort of his own couch.

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Seriously, David Beckham? Fuck off.

David Beckham.... I am absolutely sick of you. I cannot stand you. I loathe your constant whoring in the media, I despise the fact that you're more one-dimensional than Wimbledon FC circa-1990, and I am having trouble processing the fact that you're in the England squad.

I wish you weren't, but I begrudge you the ceremonial farce that is your 100th cap in a meaningless friendly against France, and I would love to think that we're finished with this issue.

But of course, Beckham could not let a microphone go unpolluted by a soundbite.

He wants to beat Peter Shilton's all-time England caps record.

Beckham.... I fucking hate you.

His quotes are so wonderful. Feast on his brilliance:

"As much as reaching 100 is a milestone, I want to carry on for quite a few years yet. I'd have turned round and retired if I didn't. I wouldn't be here if I felt I couldn't physically do it any more. I feel I can offer something."

For Christ's sake, admit that you're lucky to get to where you are now. And yet, you take that good fortune and media pressure, and you turn it into this? You want 26 more caps? You're 32 and anonymous in actual football matches. You can go fuck yourself.

You don't deserve it, not by a considerable margin. We have years of un-creative management decisions to thank for the fact that you even got as close as you did to 100, let alone making it to the century itself.

Of course, you can't keep your mouth shut, can you? You weren't finished with that last quote, not by a long shot:

"I've never had a major amount of pace. If I get two or three yards I'll put the ball where we need to score. I'm always going to, whether I'm playing in Spain, England or the US. I can switch from playing in the US to playing on Wednesday against one of the best teams in the world.

We have been on tour and played a few games. I've got the fitness I needed. Ruud Gullit [his coach at LA Galaxy] has been working us hard, doing double sessions, for the last three weeks. It has been good for me."

Please, just stop. Seriously. Enjoy your 100th, thank your lucky stars that you made it this far, and please... stop bothering the world with your talking. Go enjoy your ugly robot wife, and be happy with your pile of money.

Read more on "Seriously, David Beckham? Fuck off."...

Loose lips trying to sink Cashley's ship

Ashley Cole's been called many things, several of them by us: tosser, over-paid underachiever, whore, adulterer, piece of shit.... the list could go on.

However, he's been called something recently that he didn't like, even though his name was not used outright, and he's taking legal action.

What has he taken offense to?

Being outed.

Apparently, the story goes that the News of the World published some rather salacious stories on Feb 12 claiming that two bisexual EPL stars had been engaged in some dirty phone calls over their cell phones, and that their reporter had seen recordings of the alleged incident.

Then, the story was passed like a leather-clad hot potato to sister tabloid the Sun, who referenced the story in the caption of a picture of Ashley Cole out with his fiancee Cheryl Tweedy, and the calls from the lawyers began shortly thereafter.

It's a weird bit of news; neither paper explicitly mentioned Cole in relation to the story itself, choosing instead to use a nudge nudge wink wink approach that hasn't made Cole particularly happy.

"Cole has decided to sue for harassment, breach of privacy and libel after rumours over his sexuality spread like wildfire on the internet, fuelled by a series of articles in the News of the World and the Sun that did not name him but contained broad hints at his identity.

Legal experts view the case as an important step in taking the temperature of libel and privacy law in cases where the aggrieved parties are not named but the public is able to build up a "jigsaw" identification via tabloid hints that spark gossip via email, blogs and chatrooms.

They said the privacy part of the claim was "unique" because it relied on an untested concept known as "false privacy" - even though Cole says he is not gay, he will argue his privacy has been invaded.

"It's not a clear-cut case," said Mark Stephens, media solicitor at Finers, Stephens, Innocent. "It's difficult for both sides. But ultimately it's going to be embarrassing for the newspaper unless they were publishing on strong grounds.""

This will be interesting to watch, and not just because we might know once and for all whether Cashley likes it up the jacksey. It'll be the first time that gossip blogs and email threads are used to prosecute to such an end, and it might mean that eventually blogs in general have to curb their rampant speculations about anything and everything.

In the meantime, I can confidently report that Ashley Cole loves dudes.* Really he does.**

*Not.
** No clue.

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How not to ingratiate yourself to a population

It's been a while since any soccer players have really said anything stupid or idiotic in the media, unless you count the almost-daily David Beckham self-updates about his playing condition, his skincare regimen, or his desire to make slippers.

However, Beitar Jerusalem's Croatian goalkeeper, Tvrtko Kale, has decided to throw his hat into the ring of poorly-timed, ill-conceived comments in the press.

In an interview with the Israeli TV Sport5 channel, Kale went on record about the Gaza conflict [scroll down].

Now, there are a whole lot of people wishing he hadn't.

Kale's ideas are simple and Bush-like in their focus. How do we deal with the problem? Simple: bomb the living fuck out of it.

"I get lots of SMS messages from my friends who ask, how is the constant Hamas shelling of Sderot and Ashkelon being allowed? How can the citizens stand this? And I remember how the Croats solved it when we had these problems: Shoot, kill, destroy, and then you have no more problems."

Kale was a soldier in the Croatian army during the battle for independence in the early 90s, so he can be excused slightly considering that before his soccer career took off, he did walk the walk somewhat.

However, you can't really excuse the idea of killing lots and lots of people, can you?

Here's a video of Kale in action, proving once again that it's virtually impossible to put together YouTube clips of goalkeeping. Check out his leaping save!

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