Wednesday, June 18, 2008

La Fin du Monde? Ou La Fin de Raymond?

As everyone is aware by now, I am the resident UF Frenchman. I am sure that you are also aware that France lost to Italy 2-0 yesterday and was eliminated from Euro 2008. As you might imagine 2 + 2 = 4, and I am an unhappy camper. To make it worse, Cardillo took some cheap shots over on Deadspin today with some lame French jokes. Needless to say, I was not happy about that either. So what does this all mean?

This time, there was no Trezeguet to return the favor to Titi.

Alright, what does it mean besides the crying?

In France today, there was much gnashing of teeth and ululations of grief (man, I'm a fucking poet) over the lackluster performance of Les Bleus. Three games, two goals, one man. Titi managed to score one goal for France (against the irrepressible Dutch) and one goal for Italy (against France!). To be fair, it was clear that the French arrived on the pitch a bit shaken up yesterday, due to their arrival shenanigans at the stadium in Zurich.

Our worst fears for the match were confirmed when Ribery went down from a gunshot on the grassy knoll. However, Domenech shockingly responded in an intelligent manner by putting in Samir Nasri (who should have been starting for Toulalan in the first place, dammit!). But the future Gunner had only 16 minutes on the pitch after Abidal (starting in place of the ancient Thuram) was awarded a straight red card. The penalty kick was converted, giving Italy a 1-0 lead, and ensuring that France had to score 2 goals in order to advance out of the group. Domenech, in a bout of sheer lunacy, decided to replace Nasri with Jean-Alain Boumsong (insert shambolic EPL defender joke here). OK, Raymond, let me get this straight. With Ribery out, Nasri is clearly our best midfielder on the pitch. We are down to 10 men, and we need 2 goals. And you respond by taking off our greatest offensive threat from the midfield to insert another defender? It didn't matter if we lost 1-0 or 17-0, we were still going home! We needed 2 goals! Ca ne va pas, non?

But worry, not, fair folks. While the rest of France was in a deep despair, Domenech was having himself a grand old time by ignoring questions about the match, instead proposing to his 31-year old girlfriend. If only Chris Myers had been there.

The overwhelming majority of French football fans that I have spoken to hope that this is the last straw for Domenech, who has 2 years left on his contract. Since replacing Jacques Santini after Euro 2004, Domenech has lead France to the World Cup Final match against Italy in 2006 (losing on PKs) and to a first-round exit in Euro 2008 (tying Romania, losing to the Netherlands, and losing to Italy). The French Football Federation has announced that they will be making a decision on Domenech's future with the team by July 3rd (I would link to the official FFF website, but, well, it's in French and you Philistines couldn't read it). So hopefully on July 4th, I will have two reasons to celebrate.


Lingering Bursitis said...

You forgot to mention Bastille Day... you guys like that too, right? Couldn't you lock Domenech in the catacombs?

The NY Kid said...

Hey, Bastille Day is great, but it's not until July 14th. If Domenech is still around by then, I will not be celebrating anything.

The Fan's Attic said...

At least they will have cake.

Mike Georger said...

so who is available to take over the job? will they go oustide of france, i couldnt see that happening

The NY Kid said...

At this point in time, the two most likely candidates are Tigana and Laurent Blanc.