Euro Trash: Day 13 Quarterfina... SCHWEINSTEIGER!!!!

Here is my contribution to the Euro separated-at-birth meme. Enjoy!

Read more about the guy on the left after the jump.

The Berlin Wall 3, Cristiano Ronaldo's Pouty Face 2: Efficient. Disciplined. Organized. Teutonic. You may use any of the tried and true cliches about German futbol to describe today's match because the scoreline doesn't reflect what a rout the game really was. Portugal was playing from behind (literally and figuratively) the entire match. Once Germany took the lead, which took all of 22 minutes, the Germans simply sat back on defense and smothered any Portuguese attack. Some nice individual play by Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani -- who will continue to be teammates for about two more days before Ronaldo packs up and leaves for Real Madrid (shocker!) -- made the game respectable, but countless crosses went wildly off target or dribbles into the box fizzled out or over-ambitious long-range shots careened into the stands.

What's clear is that Big Phil has a lot of work to do with the Portuguese defenders when he gets to Chelski (human growth hormones might help). All three of Germany's goals came due to shocking, pathetic defensive lapses. Carvalho was nowhere to be seen, and Paulo Ferreira should be shipped to the Siberian Third Division, promptly.

Meanwhile, with each German goal, the stadium strangely rocked with Euro dance music and the Portuguese looked more and more dejected. ESPN's feed showed about 2,000 shots of Joachim Loew in his special bubble boy sin bin -- by the end of the game the cameraman was so bored with the shot that he was introducing a dramatic soft focus -- and, much like Cristiano Ronaldo dreaming of the millions of euros that he is about to make at Real Madrid, my mind wandered to the thought of a dreaded Germany versus Italy final. It would be like the Spurs and Pistons in the NBA Finals, only much, much, much worse. So, forgive me if I'll be rooting for the Netherlands and Spain, who at least make the games unpredictable. Fucking Germans, always winning!

Other crud
Euro 2008 a huge success....for ticket scalpers [Guardian]
Germany's WAGs are wagging the proverbial Ballack [Chelsea Pies]
Seattle Sounders have an awesome season tickets process (h/t Deadspin) [Enjoy the Enjoyment]

Swiss TV broadcasts Nazi lyrics [Telegraph]

Euro 2008 viewing figures still strong despite English incompetence [Guardian]

Lampard to Inter more inevitable than ever [The Sun]

The Worst Penalty Kick Ever. [The Spoiler]
We don't know what this is, but it's kinda entertaining [Nintenofriendo Wii Fan Boy]