Saturday, June 21, 2008

What To Do In England During Euro 2008

You may or may not know, but England isn't participating in Euro 2008. While the rest of Europe tries to win the championship of a game England invented, the English have to find other activities to occupy their time. Even those intellectuals at Cambridge. So, what have they chosen to do? Why, female jelly wrestling at Cambridge. I can't think of a more suitable replacement.

The competitive juices, or jellys, appear to have overwhelmed one losing contestant. Nadia Witkowski (in the white bikini) lost her match, although accounts suggest she may have lost because of looks not for a poor performance, and then lost her mind.

But when the crowd decided the shapely blonde was the winner anyway, Miss Witkowski lost her temper.

Still covered in red jelly, she stalked away to the sound of the students' booing and punched a female spectator, leaving her with a bloody nose.

Then she grabbed a bottle of Lambrini and made for the exit, where she was stopped by two burly bouncers.

When they tried to confiscate the bottle, she punched one and butted the other, forcing them to call the police.

Well done, well done. That was a Zidane-like meltdown. Headbutt included.


























Witkowski under duress.

Shortly thereafter, the Cambridge grad was arrested and charged with common assault. The spectators should have support Witkowski by saying things like "Show us your tits" and "take it off", I am pretty sure that would have been better for her self-esteem.

[Photos: Daily Mail]

3 comments:

ΓΌ75 said...

Best, most informative post ever.

Thank you.

Mike Georger said...

the only women who should be allowed to expose anything more than arms, legs, and moderate cleavage are those who are hot enough to ...

- make you pretend to be whatever religion she is
- make you willing to stage some sort of weekend at bernies style farce in order to win her over
- make you willing to earn red wings

everyone else needs to wear a hoodie and sweats year round, ESPECIALLY if theyre english

Bigus Dickus said...

There are plenty of hot English chicks Mike just like there are plenty of minging pig faced yanks. New York has a 2-1 women to men ratio. Wonderful you cry? 1/3 rd of those could be used as scarecrows.

I think the point here is that ugly birds should wear hoodies. Whatever race they are or country they are from.