Friday, June 6, 2008

Euro Speculation

Euro 2008 kicks off tomorrow and I'm sure these two...fellas?...will be ubiquitous over the next 3 weeks. So, UF is going on record with its wildly inaccurate predictions. Although, it seems many of us have a serious mancrush on Fernando Torres.

Don't forget to join the UF Euro '08 Pick 'Em group -- "UF Callups".

After the jump our predictions. Feel free to predict away in the comments.


Spectator

Group A winners: Portugal and Czech Republic
Group B winners: Germany and Croatia
Group C winners: Italy and France
Group D winners: Spain and Russia

Finalists: Germany and Spain
Winner: Germany

Golden Boot: Torres
Golden Gloves: Cech
Player of the Tournament: Podolski

Darkhorse Team: Russia

Biggest Controversy of the Tournament: Someone getting a penalty when they TOTALLY shouldn't have.


ΓΌ75

Group A: 1. Portugal 2. Czech Republic
Group B: 1. Germany 2. Poland
Group C: 1. France 2. Netherlands
Group D: 1. Spain 2. Greece

Finalists: Poland v. Spain
Winner: Spain

Golden Boot: Torres
Golden Gloves: Cech
PotT: Fabregas

Darkhorse Team: Switzerland

Controversy: Russia will need a Spain result against Greece to
advance. Greece will dominate the game and win easily. Foul play will be cried.


Being Sven

Group A winners: Portugal, then Czech Rep
Group B winners: Germany, then Croatia
Group C winners: Italy, then the Netherregions
Group D winners: Spain, then Sweden

Finalists: Germany & Italy
Winner: Germany

Golden Boot: Klose
Golden Gloves: Buffon
Player of the Tournament: Ballack (*laugh* no, seriously... or at least, half-seriously)

Darkhorse Team: Croatia

Biggest Controversy of the Tournament: Karma rears its ugly head when C Ronaldo gets sent off after an opponent dupes the ref... costing his team dearly, he gives the crowd a ill-advised salute as he departs, then fucks off to Madrid... just like Goldenballs. (as an aside, I'd LOVE to see the Glazers stick by their guns and let that motherfucking cunt rot in the reserves after he demands a move to Spain... unlikely, but...)


The NY Kid

Group A: Czech (1), Portugal (2)
Group B: Germany (1), Croatia (2)
Group C: France (1), Italy (2) - did you really think I would pick anything else?
Group D: Spain (1), Sweden (2)

Finalists: Germany - France
Winner: France

Golden Boot: Karim Benzema
Golden Gloves: Lehmann (no, seriously, I think he's out to prove something to Wenger)
Player of the Tournament: Ribery

Darkhorse Team: Spain

Biggest Controversy: The rampant Nazism present at the Germany-Croatia match on June 12th leads FIFA to impose record fines on the governing footballing agencies of both countries.


Lingering Bursitis

Group A: Portugal and Turkey
Group B: Germany and Croatia
Group C: Italy and Netherlands
Group D: Spain and Greece

Final: Spain v. Germany
Winner: Spain, 2-1

Golden Boot: Fernando Torres, SPA
Golden Gloves: Rustu Recber, TUR
Player of the Tournament: C. Ronaldo, POR

Darkhorse Team: Turkey [they're set up like Greece. Their national team is pretty much taken from 2 domestic league teams, so they all play together an awful lot. Hard-working, they have the on-field chemistry.... could be a shocker here]

Biggest Controversy: the fact that this damn tournament is in Switzerland/Austria in the first place


Precious Roy

Group A: Portugal, Czech
Group B: Germany, Croatia
Group C: Italy, France
Group D: Spain, Russia

Final: Italy v. Croatia
Winner: Italy 1-1 (5-3 on PKs)

Golden Boot: Cristiano Ronaldo
Golden Gloves: Gigi Buffon
Player of the Tournament: C. Ronaldo

Darkhorse Team: Is Croatia a darkhorse? Maybe Russia makes a run into the semis behind Guus.

Biggest Controversy: Millions of kegs of beer go spoiled as pre-tourney orders made 7 months in advance were overly large on the assumption that hoards of drunken British louts would be in Austria and Switzerland.


The Fan's Attic

Group A: Czech, Portugal
Group B: Germany, Croatia
Group C: Netherlands, France
Group D: Spain, Russia

Final: Germany v. Spain
Winner: Spain

Golden Boot: Klaas-Jan Huntelaar
Golden Gloves: Iker Casillas
Player of the Tournament: Torres

Darkhorse Team: Russia...solely because of Guus Hiddink.
Biggest Controversy: Antonio Cassano tackles a ref in the opening match.


Ian

Group A: Czech, Portugal
Group B: Germany, Poland
Group C: Italy, Dutch
Group D: Spain, Russia

Final: Portugal-Germany
Winner: Zie Germans 0-0 (5-4 on pks)

Golden Boot: Luca Toni
Golden Gloves (they really give this out?): Van der Saar
POT: C Ronny Ron Ron

Darkhorse: The Dutch, upsetting Les Blues and getting out of their group.

Biggest controversy: allegations of ref bribery and teams throwing games


3 comments:

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

Group A: Portugal, Czech
Group B: Croatia, Germany
Group C: France, Italy
Group D: Spain, Sweden

Final: France-Czech
Winner: France

Dark Horse: Sweden

Golden Boot: Torres
Golden Gloves: Cech
POT: Ronaldo (the one who looks like a tranny hooker, not the one who hires tranny hookers)


Biggest controversy: Some dodgy refereeing decisions in the Spain-Italy quarterfinal lead to a national hissyfit in Italia.

The NY Kid said...

ahh, strong, I knew that you were an intelligent man.

Mike Georger said...

Group A: Portugal, Czech (would not be shocked if the swiss fuck it up though as its damn near impossible to score on them)

Group B: Germany ... Poland (thats right, im backing my boys to take down the suddenly greatest team ever croatia)

Group C: Italy, France

Group D: Spain, Greece

Final: Spain 4, Germany 3

Dark Horse: Poland

Golden Boot: Podolski (torres doesnt play as well next to villa as far as tallys go)

Golden Gloves: Buffon

Player of the Tourney: Fabregas ... darkorse here, sergio ramos

Controversy: me shockingly not being able to think of anything funny here .. soooo, the ball? fuck