I hear he is a great dancer

Steve Claridge, formerly of over 20 different English clubs, was in court yesterday to explain being pulled over traveling over 100 mph on wet roads. His defense? Well, he really had to go to the bathroom. Don't believe me? His actual quote, in court, was, "I was desperate for the toilet."

Once he was puled over, the fun began. The arresting officer, acting on a call from an unmarked car that Claridge tried to pass at high speed, says that once Claridge was out of the car he began jumping up and down. That's right, Claridge was doing the pee-pee dance.

What's more, Claridge then begged the officer to let him urinate on the side of the road. The officer initially refused, citing the traffic, but eventually relented, allowing Claridge to head down the slope and finish his business. Brit cops are so nice. American cops would throw you in the back of the squad car, allow you to piss yourself, then beat you up for doing so.

Earlier today, Claridge was unsurprisingly found guilty of the charge. He will be sentenced in early June. I can only hope that whatever the sentence is, there are plenty of toilets nearby.