Thursday, May 15, 2008

Arsenal + Americans > Russians + Arsenal

This comparison brought to you by capitalism. In an abrupt change in position, Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has welcomed the interest of American minority shareholder Stan Kroenke in a takeover of the club. Just last summer Hill-Wood was about as anti-American as the French, which makes sense because Arsenal is a French soccer club through and through. It may be highly cultured but at the slightest whiff of a struggle, it turns tail...just like France.

Hill-Wood famously said, in reference to Kroenke's interest, "We don't need his money and don't need his sort. He knows sweet FA about our football." After shooting down the advances of the American, Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov made his intentions known. The Russian already owns 25% of the club and wants to become the majority shareholder.

Apparently, Usmanov's bid doesn't provide the shareholders with enough profit, so Hill-Wood is starting to see an old flame, Kroenke. The chairman did a complete about-face saying:

"Contrary to what I said before, I now believe he may have a vital contribution to make to the future of this football club. I am not denying I said what I said, but I made those observations before meeting Stan. I have now got to know him and I have changed my opinions.

"When I hadn't met him, yes, I didn't think he was the right person to take control of Arsenal Football Club. Now I know him as a man who is very much steeped in sport. He is a sports man."
So, the Chairman is saying he is full of prejudice--judging Kroenke based on nothing other than rumor and preconceived notions. Nice man. Really, sound likes a great guy.
Now the American sportsman, owner of the Colorado Rapids, Avalanche and Denver Nuggets and co-owner of the NFL St. Louis Rams, is a perfectly suitable suitor for the club? What gives? My fan-sense says money. Hill-Wood has come to realize that English football has finally gone the way of big business and it doesn't matter which obscenely rich person wants to buy the club. It will never be like the old days.

Now, the goal is yield the maximum return for the shareholders. Courting the American can only serve to up the Russian's offer. Usmanov is a smart man and will not bid against himself.


Ian said... jaw

BerbaKeane said...

Dear Lord, pls allow American ownership of Arsenal. May it be as smooth as Hicks and Gillet at Liverpool. Amen

The NY Kid said...

He knows sweet FA about our football

He knows sweet Football Association about our football? That doesn't make any sense!

What? Fuck-All? How rude!

Oh, and French jokes? CODDAMIT!

The Fan's Attic said...

yeah, i was waiting for the response to french/arsenal jabs. took you long enough.

Andrew said...

Now will "Rapids" be changed to "Arsenal," like was planned before? Could there finally be a Colorado Arsenal? Because the MLS doesn't need to forge it's own identity.

Ian said...

Damn Melo would look good up front with Adebayor. Same hair, too.

The Fan's Attic said...

when i wrote this piece, i did not realize Kroenke had his fingers in so many sports. dude even owns a lacross team.

Goat said...

Kroenke also has a monopoly on the lucrative mustache wax market.