Monday, March 31, 2008

Ballack plays it long...........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Chelsea are on the telly again.

After watching Dullsea's unconvincing and boring win this Sunday I decided to compile a top ten list of activities that are more entertaining than watching the blues the season. It is no secret that I have no love in the Bigus locker for Chelsea but I feel justified in posting this list as I wasted 93 valuable minutes watching them bore millions of people across the world (yet again). Long balls to Drogba's noggin and hoofed clearances.

People actually fell asleep at Stamford Bridge and I heard the commentator yawn at one point.

So without further delay here its is.

10 things to do that are more entertaining than watching Chelsea play.
10: Attending a Celine Dion concert after sitting in 6 hours of traffic.
9: Eating your own feces.
8: Joining Oprah Winfrey for a marathon book tour of old people's homes.
7: Scooping your eyes out with a blunt spoon.
6: Sitting behind a pillar as the Yankees and Phillies enter the 23rd inning of a pre-season game with no score.
5: Writing a 15000 word thesis on the economic strategies of Alan Greenspan.
4: Standing in line at Stamford bridge for 26 hours only to find out that all of the FA Cup tickets have been sold to bankers and prawn munchers.
3: Spending 27 days lost in the Oregon mountains with only a copy of my life so far by Wayne Rooney for company.
2: Attending a 3 day seminar on colonic wash procedures.

and NUMBER ONE activity more interesting than watching Chelsea play this season..........(Drum roll)

Watching Wagner's Ring Cycle performed in its entirety back to back by the Bognor Regis Society for the Deaf.

- Bigus

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