The Gold Cup sets World Cup standards of punishment

Aguirre smelt it, CONCACAF dealt it

Remember that gigantic donnybrook late last week between Mexico and Panama, the one in which limbs were torn from bodies and players ran bleeding and delirious into the warm Houston night?

Yeah, well CONCACAF acted swiftly to dole out some punishments, and the only one feeling the pinch is Mexico coach Javier Aguirre, smarting from a three-match suspension. His wonderful leg-sweep near the sideline sparked a wonderful brawl, the likes of which hadn't been seen since that night in Detroit, and though plenty of shoving matches took place after the Cobra Kai move, only Aguirre is in the doghouse.

"The committee acknowledged that Mr. Aguirre is well known to them as a responsible person and it was their belief that this was an aberration rather than any aspect of his normal behavior," mumbled CONCACAF secretary Chuck Blazer in-between heavy abuse of the gratis buffet table.

Aguirre apologized, and we can all move on with our lives. At least until the next time it happens.

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Central American soccer is Crazy, too

Yes, I know that Mexico is considered North America. Just go with it, OK?

Last night, Mexico and Panama played to a 1-1 draw in the Gold Cup. If you were to judge from the ESPN Deportes (?) highlights below, you'd say this was a pretty run of the mill draw, with one little blowup on the sidelines.


But, as you will see below, you would be dead wrong.

First of all, the first half ended with a double red card. Giovanni Dos Santos was tackled by Armando Gun. Play went on as Gun clambered over Dos Santos. Dos Santos seemed to grab Gun's leg and Gun took exception and pushed the former Brazilian. At this point Luis Noriega comes in to play bouncer for Mexico. Both get red cards.



The real fun started around the 78th minute when Ricardo Phillips makes the mistake of dribbling along the touchline by Mexico's bench. Phillips, who had just come on in the 76th, took offense at Mexican manager Javier Aguirre kicking at the ball while it was still in play and shoved the sideline general.



As you can see, there was an immediate reaction from the Mexican bench, as well as the field players, against Phillips. The referee, Joel Aguilar of El Salvador, shows none of the uncertainty he displayed in handling the first half red cards and sends both Phillips and Aguirre off quickly. Well, at least Aguirre left quickly.



Don't have 10 minutes? Let me run that down for you. Phillips refused to leave the pitch. Panamanian team officials tried to get him off. No dice. Security tried to get him to leave. Phillips starts to go off, then comes back on the pitch. The referee looks like he is going to abandon the match, only for the CONCACAF match commisioner (and other men and women in suits) to come on the pitch and seem to force Aguilar to restart things. Finally, after almost 10 minutes, Phillips goes off the pitch. His reward--a shower of bottles, trash and who knows what else from the largely pro-Mexico crowd in Houston.

That wasn't the end of the fun, though. About four minutes into added time, Perez, the Panamanian goal scorer, is stretchered off with a time-wasting injury. Once on the sideline, he also gets the full trash shower treatment from the crowd. This time Aguilar truly looked to just abandon the match only to have the CONCACAF suits march out on to the pitch again and tell him to finish things.



Finally, after 10 and a half minutes of added time, Aguilar mercifully gets to blow for full time. His reward? Immediately being surrounded by Mexican players and coaches, seemingly arguing that he did not give enough injury time.



Surely there will be some blowback from all of the drama in this game, but no announcements have been made at this time. Fingers crossed for Mexico being thrown out of the tournament and the country, yes?

One last thing. Initially, I thought Aguirre was simply trying to stop a ball that was out of bounds so his team could get the quick throw in. After watching this video, I'm no longer sure.

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2666? El Pánico de Mexico

Even the prescient Bolaño could never have seen this coming!

The Mexican national team is edging closer to mayhem today as El Tri and still-manager Sven Goran Eriksson return home from Honduras after getting handled by Wilson Palacios & Co.

The loss leaves the Mexicans tied on points for the last automatic qualification spot in their CONCACAF group, but more importantly, in a whole heaping shite of trouble with their supporters... and presumably, the vicious and bloodthirsty drug mafia that's pushed parts of the state into martial law.

Roberto Bolaño told-- and foretold-- of this social breakdown in his epic 2666... even pin-pointing Ciudad Juarez as the blood meridian. But could the brilliant (and sadly, dead) Chilean have EVER seen this coming???


More time to spend with Nancy?

It was, by all accounts, a summary beatdown last night for the Mexicans, who were without Rafa Marquez (red card-- kicking Tim Howard) and Ip Ip Tp Town loanee Giovani dos Santos (unfit... physically). Still, Omar Bravo was healthy and started along with Carlos Vela.



The late addition of Nery Castillo, for Bravo in the 69th minute, was too late. Castillo pulled one back on a PK in the 89th, but by then half the Hondurans (the players) were already, mentally at least, in the locker room feasting on chayotes.

For Honduras, highlights included rising star Wilson "The Mad Honduran" Palacios guarding the backline, marauding from box to box... by all accounts his standard performance at home and abroad, for club and country. The goals came from Bongo's own Carlos Costly-- he had two-- and Mexico's old bogeyman, Carlos Pavon. Weighing in at about a quarter ton, aged 34, The Turkey Man almost added a fourth at the end.

So how's the Mexican press handling all this? I scrambled through some half-reputable papers this morning... and there's something of a common theme.

Select headlines (tanslated too, for you bruto americanos!)

Diario 21 -- Otra decepción... (Betrayed Again!)

Diario de Juarez -- ¡De pesadilla! (Nightmare!)

La Cronica de Hoy -- “Seguir en el Tri no depende de mí”: Eriksson (Sven says soemthing to effect of "My tactics were solid, these morons need to execute." Later in the article he also promises that Mexico will qualify. Bold!)

And here, if you think I've made all this stuff up, are the highlights-- the goals at least-- from the match.

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USA v. Mexico Liveblog

You might've noticed that there were some international matches today: England looked pretty outclassed against Spain, losing 2-0, as Golden Balls earned his 108th cap; the Luck o' the Irish prevailed against Georgia in a World Cup qualifier thanks to a highly questionable penalty call and a goal scored off Robbo Keane's shoulder; Eduardo had an assist for Croatia; and the NY Kid's les Bleus fell 2-0 to the Argentines.

But all of that was merely an appetizer for today's real action: the highly anticipated World Cup qualifying match between the United States and Mexico -- live from Columbus, Ohio. Many well-reported plotlines in this one. The Mexicans' struggles on U.S. soil. That voodoo doll "controversy." U.S. Soccer call for fans to wear red. The up-yours inclusion of Jose Francisco Torres by Bob Bradley. The rumors that Sven-Goran Eriksson is being courted by Pompey (will he throw the game to hasten his exit?). And, most importantly of all, the bad blood between the U.S. and Mexico (who still refuse to shake hands with the Americans).

To get you ready for the big match, here are some Columbia students assessing U.S. Soccer head Sunil Gulati's prowess as a university professor. First comment: "A bit of a douche." (h/t 100 Percent Soccer)

Live blog after the jump. And, as always, have your say in the comments.

I'll be back closer to 7:00 p.m. EST.

Pregame: Word is that the weather is nothing less than spectacular, with high winds and the threat of thunderstorms. This same system killed people in Oklahoma. So, you can expect lots of crappy commentary from ESPN about the storm on the field being the same as the storm between the Americans and El Tri.

I'm eating some All-American Mac and Cheese for dinner at the moment. USA USA USA!

Starting lineups are in...

USA: Howard, Pearce, Bocanegra, Onyeewu, Hejduk, Beasley, Klestan, Bradley, Dempsey, Donovan, Ching

Mexico: Sanchez, Salcido, Marquez, Galindo, Osorio, Medina, Augusto, Pardo, dos Santos, Castillo, Ochoa

And Harkes and Dellacamera are the broadcasters. Could be worse. Meanwhile, the sideline report is that SGE compared the weather for tonight's match to Albania. I knew the United States was edging closer and closer to a third world country!

The players are coming out onto the pitch to what sounds to my ears like Joe Satriani. USA USA USA! Lots of red in the stands, along with the Americans wearing red warmups. And then there's a smattering of boos and USA USA chants for the Mexican national anthem. God bless jingoism at its finest.

National anthem has been played and, man, now I'm totally fired up! Let's go invade some more countries!! Who's with me??

1: Mexico kick off, give up the ball and then the Americans make a nice move towards the Mexican goal that fizzles. That's followed by Bradley easily dispossessing little Giovanni Dos Santos. Nice start for the Americans.

3: Save by Howard! Really shaky defending by the Americans after Ochoa crosses into the box. Guess what the Americans weakness is? (I'll give you a hint: the back four.)

5: Really flying start. Feels like this game has an early goal in it.

7: They just showed the replay of the Howard save. If Dos Santos can get the ball up, the Mexicans are up 1-0. Meanwhile, Lando breaks in the Mexican box and is just a few yards away from a clean shot on goal. And now the frantic play continues, and again I worry about the American back four.

9: I have received my first dispatch from the Likely Lad at Nevada Smith's in NYC, who reports that whatever their capacity is there are 50 more people than that. About 70-30 for the U.S., but everyone booed Sven Goran-Eriksson.

10: Dos Santos almost has another shot on goal but Bradley comes back to help defend. He might need to do a lot of that today.

12: Now the Americans are attacking, with three crosses into the box. Americans end up with a corner.

14: The corner fizzles but the Americans retain possession, culminating in an offside on Beasley. This is all really nervy stuff.

15: Harkes says that SGE has the ability to coach world class players. How exactly is that an ability?

17: Nice counterattack by the Americans, with Dempsey and Beasley swapping wings, leading to a skewered shot by Beasley that's not troubling the keeper. The most promising aspect of this game for the Americans is their ball control. Need better finishing though. No sign of Ching so far.

18: Onyewu makes a sliding tackle and goes flying slip n' slide style on the wet grass.

21: Ching gets pushed to the ground just outside the box for a free kick. Big opportunity here. The Likely Lad reports that the Mexican fans at Nevada Smith's are far more tense and nervy than the Americans.

22: Donovan sends the free kick just wide. Oh, and thanks ESPN for a live report that Brett Favre retired. Right and what else is new?

25: As expected, the game has settled down a little bit. Most promising aspect of this game is that the Americans are playing well together. We're still not the momst talented side in the world, but at least we're retaining respectability. (That's about all I can ask for, really!)

26: Pedro Gomez with a live sideline report about those voodoo dolls. ESPN still has not quite got the idea that football doesn't take breaks. Meanwhile, Beasley with a shot on goal that is pretty easily handled. Going the other way, Dos Santos runs fast.

29: American midfielders are doing a good job of tracking back on defense, which is good, because Bocanegra and Onyewu are as likely to clear a ball as kick it directly to a Mexican player.

31: Save by Sanchez on a Dempsey shot on goal! Nice play going both ways. Beasley crossed to Lando, who headed it back to Dempsey.

32: Castillo is down with a hamstring pull, giving all the players (and me!) a chance to catch their breaths.

36: Mexicans continue to press, with dos Santos having his way on the wing. Thankfully we have Tim Howard to make the save on the resulting shot.

37: Bradley takes a 25 yard shot that's just wide. I agree with Harkes that it's nice to have a defensive midfielder who can take long shots like that.

39: Beasley kicks Marquez's foot, who writhes around on the ground and then magically gets up. Going the other way, Bocanegra gives up a stupid foul just outside the box. Theme of the night: the American back four is not very good.

40: But thankfully the goalkeeper is in good form. Easy save on a pretty tepid free kick. Pearce a bit shaken up, but ESPN didn't have a camera on it so who knows what happened, except that it resulted in a free kick.

42: GOAL USA! 1-0 Hejduk earns a corner, which is sent deep by Beasley. The ball is headed into the center by Lando and Bradley heads it into the goal. Nice play!

45: Beasley almost makes it 2-0. He's having a nice game, makes a run and his shot is just blocked for a corner, which drifts out harmlessly.

End of First Half. USA 1-0. Pedro Gomez with a live interview with Bob Bradley. Why can't we have mid-game interviews with Sir Alex Ferguson? Much props to Beasley, Bradley and especially Lando.

Oh look there's Carrot Top! Nevermind, it's just Alexi Lalas.

The Likely Lad reports again from Nevada Smith's: "Here We Go Here We Go Here We Go Here We Go. The Americans need better material. But, lots of love, and rightfully so, for Lando."

Precious Roy makes a good point (as always) that the ref has done a great job of calling this game. No cards, letting the teams play. And hey look there's Argentina v. France highlights... Sorry the NY Kid.

Anyone want to guess how soon it'll be before Demarcus Beasley comes back to MLS? Seems like he's still got plenty in the tank, but there doesn't seem to be much future for him at Celtic Rangers (whoops!).

Oh, and to correct myself on the goal, looks like Onyewu headed the ball towards goal, it was saved, and then Bradley wheelkicked the ball into the net. Phil reports that Univision claims that Bradley used his arm.... But are we going to believe them?

45: And we're off. No subs. Pedro Gomez relays his halftime talk with SGE, who claims he's happy with the result after the first half, just a bit unlucky, etc. Yup, Sven-Goran is looking forward to moving to the EPL.

48: Michael Bradley is really coming into his own, made a great pass to Beasley that forces Sanchez out to smother the ball.

49: Corner for the Americans is punched out by Sanchez. Americans are looking to score a second and put this game away.

51: Onyewu wins a footrace with Ochoa. By my calculation, that must make Ochoa the slowest striker in the world.

53: Dempsey with a breakaway thanks to soft pass, but it fizzles. The Likely Lad checks in: "Relocated to McCormacks, which thankfully has no volume on the TVs here. From 14th Street on up pretty much every bar is packed with people watching the match."

55: So exactly why isn't Dos Santos playing for the Tottenham Hotspurs?

56: Credit to Lando for going straight at the Mexican captain Marquez. See, Lando does have testicles afterall! Meanwhile, the Americans are probably showing the best concerted ball control I've ever seen from them. Still lots of obvious flaws, but I'm happy to see progress under Bradley.

59: Medina with a nice play for Mexico, who is rewarded by SGE by getting subbed out. I gotta say, green is definitely not Sven-Goran's color. Meanwhile the game is going in a circles now. Not a lot of good last touches, just fouls and offsides. I suppose that bodes well for the U.S. to hold onto this one.

62: JP and John must agree with me, because they're yakking about college basketball. Time to sub Jozy on for Ching?

65: Red card to Marquez Handbags!! There's a crazy, weird play in front the American goal on a free kick, players flying around. And then Marquez comes in with studs up on Tim Howard, who is still shaken up. The ref comes in and immediately raises a red card. Maybe a bit soft, but the ref was right on the play and has otherwise called a good game, so he gets the benefit of the doubt. Besides, fuck El Tri!

69: Now it's all getting a bit chippy. Expect more cards to start coming out now. Hejduk makes a nice open field tackle that sends Dos Santos flying. Going the other way, Ching is brought down with an extended arm tackle. Like I said, chippy.

71: Pearce spits up the ball and gives Ochoa the chance to take a long shot that's well wide. Dos Santos is subbed off. Hejduk has a knock. Oh, and Brett Farver is still retired.

74: If this were the NFL, we'd be hearing endlessly about how Hejduk is an ironman, you'd have to drag him off the field. Instead it's just blah blah blah later on ESPN it's....

76: Seems like tired legs from the Americans. Their final passes have been pretty awful. Meanwhile, Pedro Gomez and John Harkes are talking about Sven-Goran Eriksson. Uh, guys, there's still a game going on. For all that John Harkes speaks, you'd think that the word "succinct" would be in his vocabulary.

78: Hejduk comes running into the play, demanding the ball from Lando, and proceeds to dribble the ball out of play on what I suppose was a shot. This game is dragging. Bring on Jozy!

79: Mexico get their first corner and Bocanegra manages to make a great clearance. Oh, and it looked like someone threw a booze bottle at the Mexican player in the corner. How do I know this? The player held the bottle up in the air. C'mon, you're telling me that doesn't happen at Pachuca games all the time?

81: Finally, Jozy is about to come on just as the Americans are about to take another corner, which connects with no one.

83: Jozy on for Ching to a big ovation. Yup, us Americans know where our future is.

84: Hejduk makes what seems like his 10th sliding tackle of the night. He's shown good poise to not draw any cards. Meanwhile, Dempsey plays the ball up to Jozy, who is dispossessed after holding the ball for too long.

85: Mexicans are sending bodies forward. Maybe another goal in this one, either way though (even with Mexico down a man.

87: Sacha Kljestan off, Ricardo Clark on. JP and John seem bored, and cranky.

89: Americans have shown flashes of good play in this game, but have now reverted to form. Against 10 men they should be controlling the game, but they are too busy giving the ball away. Meanwhile, the Likely Lad says: "I feel better with USMNT holding a lead than with Spurs. Says it all."

90: So Howard picked up a yellow during the handbags and is out of the next international match. 3 minutes extra time, as Dempsey clears the ball out of the penalty box with a bicycle kick. Mexico still with the ball though.

92: GOAL USA! 2-0! Bradley puts it away! Jozy was brought down for a foul, but the ref waved play on as Lando had the ball on the wing. Passes the ball back to Bradley who is trailing and powers it in from around 25 yards out. Goalie could've saved but the ball skidded on the turf.

FULL TIME. USA Dos a Cero: Bradley was Man of the Match, with very good play from Lando, Howard and Beasley. The game wasn't played at the very highest level, but the Americans did enough to win. Most importantly, gotta love beating El Tri! Frankie agrees, as he's shouting to the crowd shirtless a la Lothar the Caveman.

That's it for me. Thanks for hanging out, everyone! Have a great night. (Oh and thanks to the Likely Lad for the dispatches from the Big City.)

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The Good, The Bad, The WTF

You know, for those of us who are American soccer fans, it's a pretty big day. A home match against rivals Mexico, and it's a World Cup Qualifier. What better time to take a look at a horror shirt from Mexico's past? Well, as you'll see, The Day of the Dead may have sufficed, but that's not until November.



There are times when playing up your country's heritage goes a bit too far. The rough equivalent of this shirt in the US would be a mural showing the Cherokee on the Trail of Tears with smallpox-laden blankets. Or maybe a Pacific Northwest totem pole. Either way, you'd need to give a sly wink to a culture that got killed off by the conquering forces that have rewritten local history over the past 300 years.

So yeah, the Mayan face isn't the best representation of a modern Mexico. But look at it. Aren't you a little scared? The face has his tongue out like a Maori doing the Haka. That's supposed to instill fear in the enemy. Or maybe this is just the death mask representation of the one of the losers of that Mayan game, kind of like basketball, where the losers reportedly got beheaded. Still, that's scary too. And fitting for Day of the Dead. But it's not Day of the Dead, so I have to stop using that reference. Unless you count Mexico getting slaughtered tonight. Then it can be Una Nueva Dia de los Muertos. I kind of like the sound of that, especially for SGE's career as Mexican coach.

OK, back to the shirt. Yes, it's bad, but it is done better than most. Instead of using a shiny sublimation for the contrast print, two shades of green are used. This does away with the need to view the shirt in the correct light to see what the manufacturer wants you to see. Also, it's a lot better done than the follow up.



Gah. This is simply hideous. The same company (something called ABA Sport) has taken the design and redone it so that it gives everyone a headache. If I had a guess, I would think that the company had hired Jorge Campos as color consultant. The nicest thing that can be said about this shirt is that Mexico is spelled correctly. Horrific stuff.

Now, for the denouement (if you consider the last 'graph to be climax), I'll gie my quick impression on tonight's game. First off, the weather isn't as bad as US Soccer would have hoped for in Columbus in February. The temperature will be in the 50s at kickoff, and there is a chance for rain. Not quite the 20s from the same fixture four years ago. As such, I have had to amend my initial prediction of a 3-0 US win to 2-1. Still, a win's a win, especially if you get the other team to fire their coach after the match.

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Drug Cartels and Footy: A Match Made in Hell

Cocaína. Nieve. Basuco. No, this isn't a story about Adrian Mutu. It's about Mexican second division (which is actually the third level of footy) club Mapaches de Nueva Italia, which plays its matches in Michoacan. Mapaches plays in the Bajio group of the Liga de Nuevos Talentos, which is described as being composed of teams that have no interest in being promoted and are solely interested in developing talent. Unfortunately, Mapaches members may be developing their talent in singing narcocorridos.



The Guardian has noted that Mexican prosecutors are investigating Mapaches for possible links to several drug cartels. After conducting a raid on the club after a game in Mexico City which resulted in the arrest of numerous Mapaches players and club officials, federal authorities are convinced that the club is involved in money laundering activities. For the past several years, Michoacan has been one of the centers of Mexican drug-trafficking (the preferred route now that Miami is considered too visible) as drug cartels look for effective smuggling routes for cocaine.

But the story out of Morelia (the capital of Michoacan) is more confusing by the month. After cartel members threw grenades into a crowd in September (on Mexican Independence Day), President Felipe Calderón, who is from Morelia, mobilized thousands of soldiers to root out those responsible. Initial reports claimed that two cartels are potentially responsible, although it remains unclear. One possible cartel is the Zetas, based out of Matamoros (fun side-trip when on South Padre Island for Spring Break!). They have in turn blamed La Familia, a smaller cartel that the Zetas trained, for the attacks. For now the Mexican authorities seem to believe them, as they have rounded up and beaten several members of La Familia. Although it's unclear why the cartel would target civilians, it does increasingly look like Mapaches provided them with a way to launder all of their ill-gotten gains.

I would keep an eye on Torres and Orozco.

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He Probably Wasn't Going to Beat Out Vela Anyway

If the momentum of the US racing quickly toward becoming a Third World economy doesn't slow quickly this trend might reverse itself, but for the time being our porous southern border might finally be paying dividends where it matters most: Soccer.

According to this piece in the Washington Post, Jose Francisco Torres—and no, his armband didn't say he was a Red, wrong Torres—will likely make an appearance for the USMNT in the next week against either Cuba or Trinidad and Tobacco (intentional).

The significance of this?

Though born and raised in the eastern Texas city of Longview, Torres is eligible to represent Mexico because of his father's roots. And having evolved into a starter for Pachuca, one of the Mexican league's most decorated clubs, he has appeared on the Mexican national team's radar.

But as FIFA rules stipulate, one you're capped for one country, your ass is there's for this life and the next (and yes, there is both soccer and nation-states in the afterlife... Sorry, John Lennon was totally wrong). So by appearing in a US kit, Torres, in the blue and white above, can only ever play on the world's stage for the Red White and Ranked 20th (or thereabouts).

Torres isn't alone in making the US his preferred international home, Michael Orozco, who has Mexican-born parents and plays on the backline for the Mexican club San Luis, also made a run north of the border when he was capped for the US U-23 team in Beijing.

"The situation is unique because they are eligible for two countries. So you are balancing those issues with whether the player is ready for the national team," U.S. Soccer Federation President Sunil Gulati said. "And because they are part Mexican, we only have to pay them a fraction of what we'd pay American born players."

Okay, we totally made up the second half of that quote.

It's not like Torres, who stands at a Messi-like 5'5", has been captured against his will and is being enslaved to a USMNT jersey. No, he willing chose it. It's his dream. He even said so. "It's my choice and I made it. My dream was always to play for the U.S. national team."

See, America is still the land where dreams can come true, even if it will soon be as bankrupt as Iceland.

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Oswaldo Sanchez couldn't save himself from himself

Behold, a non-Euro 2008 post!

Oswaldo Sanchez hasn't had much luck between the posts recently. Mexico was embarrassed 4-1 at the hands of Argentina, and now they face the mouth-watering prospect of having Sven Boring Eriksson at the managerial helm, in a move I still can't quite figure out. [Was Sven's tan lacking? Does he enjoy tequila? Has the Swedish krona suddenly become a weak currency?]

Adding further fuel to the depressing fire, one of Mexico's best players is off to lose his skills and waste his talents playing at White Hart Lane.

Heck, it's enough to drive a player to drink.

Or, in Oswaldo's case, to drive a player to trespass and resist arrest.

It's purely a semantic difference, right?

From the wonderful newspaper report:

Police said the arrest was made shortly before 7 a.m. in downtown Chicago, where Mexico beat Peru 4-0 the night before in a friendly at Soldier Field with Sanchez in goal. According to some reports, hotel guests complained about a loud party by players in the early hours of the morning.

“He was asked to leave the premises and he remained on the property after being repeatedly warned to leave,” officer John Mirabelli said. “When officers attempted to place him in custody, he resisted arrest.”

Christ, killjoy law enforcement officers of the world, can't a man simply unwind after morale-reviving win?

Either way, funny as it sounds, the downside is that such arrests might well affect his visa status for future travels with his team to the US, where Mexico play quite a few exhibition games and tournament qualifiers.

Such a calamity would not be a good welcome gift for Eriksson, who's still trying to put his own self-confidence back together after the public humiliation of answering to Thaksin Shinawatra.

Let's hope Sanchez regains his balance long enough to prevent future errors.

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Ten Facts that Might Be Wrong: Part 4 (and last)

Last one people. Promise because, well, fish barrel shoot.

If you missed the scintillating pre-quels, click here (links to the two posts prior are up top in that post). And set aside some time as they got a little wordy. The original article is here.

Again, I am reluctant to reward shoddy journalism with more clicks, but eh, if it leads to Ric being more thorough in the future, then maybe some good might come from it.

Anyway, "fact" number seven has buried in its 204 words—and that's one long ass fact—this little bit of tid (emphasis his).

Do you know that the TWO most-attended sporting events EVER HELD at Reliant Stadium in Houston are USA-MEXICO friendly matches - matches held in the middle of the week (Wednesdays) with no official importance of any kind ?

Why no, I didn't know that. And there's probably a good reason for that.

It's because they aren't the two most attended events at Reliant Stadium. The stadium hosted a Super Bowl. Number XXXVIII to be exact. That was the one where Panther's coach John Fox went chasing after a missed extra point by continually going for two. But by failing continually, he gave the Patriots a chance to kick a game-winning field goal and the whistle.

And let me give all "throwball" coaches some free advice. Never even consider, bother, worry, or think about going for 2 until there are less than 4 minutes to go in the game. There, I just saved someone's job.

Back to the issue at hand. The attendance for the Super Bowl at Reliant was 71,525.

The attendance for the February 6, 2008 US v Mexico friendly was 70,103. And the attendance for the May 8, 2003 friendly was 69,582.

So for those that might need a little help:

71,525 > 70,103 > 69,582 OR Super Bowl > US v. Mexico II > US v. Mexico I

Now the 70,103 was the 2nd largest soccer crowd in US history. That's pretty good, although I imagine that's for a US soccer match, not just any soccer match as the US hosted a World Cup back in 1994 and pretty much every match at Stanford Stadium and Giants Stadium outdrew 70,000.

But really of all the errors with the original post, this is the least explicable or excusable. It took about 90 seconds to find the three attendance numbers here. Just proclaiming something it bold doesn't make it true. It makes you seem like Skip Bayless. Honest mistakes are sometimes excusable, being Bayless-esque isn't.

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Fulham : USA :: Manchester City : ____?____

What do the 3 stars mean, anyway?

A) Guyana
B) Mozambique
C) Mexico
D) Slovakia
E) Russia

The answer, my friends, is always C.

Man City, having picked up Nery Castillo in the January transfer window, is now rumored to be preparing a bid to pry Giovanni dos Santos (Johnny Two Saints) from Barcelona. Look at that little baby face. Ricky Hatton would love to have that around. You know, to make him look more like an actual fighter.

The question is, is this a new trend or a continuation of an old one? In the 1979 FA Cup final, Arsenal took on Manchester United. Unlike just five years prior, when the game was only contested by Englishmen, this game featured a mix from around the Isles. Arsenal started 3 Irishmen as well as 3 Northern Irish. Manchester United started five Scots and only three Englishmen. It would seem that the teams were buying groups of players that they felt would compete well together because of shared background.

I say that this is the rough equivalent of what some teams are doing today. You can definitely see it when looking at Fulham under Lawrie Sanchez and Roy Hodgson. Besides the five Americans, Sanchez also brought in a couple of Northern Irish players. Of course, when you look at the results for Fulham this season, perhaps Sven-Goran should get the hint and let Johnny Two Saints land somewhere else.

Thanks to Random Country Generator for the random country generation.

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Olympic Qualifying; Group Stage Final

As we American users say in the forums of hattrick when the Mexicans fail miserably: jajajajajajaja. USA, Canada, Guatemala and Honduras go through to the next round of qualifying, Mexico do not. Inside, a look at how that happened.

In Group A, we saw the reason the World Cup Finals play the final group matches at the same time. Before the USA-Honduras match even started, both teams knew they were going through. In the first match on Saturday, Panama took out its frustration on the undermanned Cuba squad, with Panama winning 4-1. At least Cuba was able to field 11 players this time, as Linares' suspension had been served. The result left both teams shy of the USA's point total, leading to a listless final match in the group.

The USA-Honduras match up was played as if both teams did not want to win the group. Results in Group B meant that the feared Mexican squad could only finish second at best, and the winner of Group A might have to face them. So both the USA, starting the day in second, and Honduras played the match not to win. The USA took it to the extreme when Charlie Davies sprayed a penalty about 3 yards wide of the right post in the 62nd minute. Davies earned another penalty in injury time, and a lackluster-so-far Eddie Gaven put it in the net.

Group A final standings (W-D-L; Pts; GD)
USA 2-1-0; 7; +2
Honduras 2-0-1; 6; +2
Panama 1-0-2; 3; +1
Cuba 0-1-2; 1; -5


In Group B, the sea change day was on Friday. Haiti pulled out a 2-1 thriller over Canada, but the real story was Guatemala defeating Mexico, also 2-1. It was Mexico's first loss at this level in 23 matches, and it propelled Guatemala into the next round.

On Sunday, the last two matches of the group were played. Canada, sitting on one point played Guatemala, who had already clinched first place in the group. Haiti, on three points, still needed a result to go through in their match against Mexico, who had their lone point from the Canada draw. If Guatemala played an inferior squad, it set up nicely for Canada to pip Mexico at the post, and it would appear that is what happened.

In the first of the day's two matches, Canada routed Guatemala 5-0. Will Johnson scored a brace on both sides of halftime, and Tosaint Ricketts added his own second-half double. The game was sealed in injury-time by Kyle Hall. Mexico now had a seriously pitched uphill climb ahead of them in the second match. The Mexicans came out quickly and put one in the net in the first 20 minutes. Mexico also caught the benefit of an early red card as Haiti's Aveska was sent off in the 26th minute. After Mexico went two up in the 61st, they had the mental breakdown that would lead to their tournament demise. In the 62nd minute, Leonel Saint-Preux broke through the Mexican defense and scored. Mexico, previously even on goal difference with Canada, now had to pull at least six goals to advance. They ended up with five, which might cost Hugo Sanchez the senior team job as well.

Group B final standings (W-D-L; Pts; GD)
Guatemala 2-0-1; 6; -3
Canada 1-1-1; 4; +4
Mexico 1-1-1; 4; +3
Haiti 1-0-2; 3; -4


The semifinals of the tournament, and the de facto Olympic bid finals, will be held on March 20 in Nashville. The matches are Guatemala-Honduras and USA-Canada. The first one should be a barn burner, the second one will (hopefully) be a walkover.

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