Thursday, May 21, 2009

Who the F*ck Is Marcus Evans?

Why was the picture pixelated? Does he have two noses? Is he the Elephant Man? A Scooby Doo Villain?

Marcus Evans. He's on the Times rich list. A billionaire. He waited until all of the local businesses owed by Ipswich Town FC were shafted by the clubs administration, then got himself a fantasy football bargain. Cheap git! Yet no one and I mean NO ONE knows what this guy looks like? If I was in anyway associated with Ipswich Town, I'd want to hide my face too but this is just ridiculous. His name is blazoned across the players shirts, his company is called 'Marcus Evans'. Apparently, according to message board regulars, he does go to watch the games and sits in the regular seats, not the box. Lets face it, he has 10,000 spare ones to chose from. The only picture available is the one above. How is this possible? In this day and age where no one can hide, even in the darkest corners of the Internet.

This is where YOU come in, loyal UF fans. Join me after the jump for challenge!

Simple. What does he look like. I want a picture. People need to know what the man who bought the worst football club in the world looks like. We need to out him.

So what do we know? Well he is a tax dodger, only required to spend 60 days a year in England, business wise. His company is registered in Bermuda. His cash is in offshore accounts in Bermuda. He owns two homes in England and yet his office is listed as also being in Bermuda. Marcus Evans employs 3500 people. He even gave 1 million quid to the Liberal Democrats last year! Yet no one knows what he looks like?

Is he a future Bond villain? The man without a face? A Scooby Doo crook? How does he manage to not have his photo taken? What about school pics? Events? I am baffled.

No one knows?

Not even fleet streets best could find the man.

Go to work people. Find me this man. Show me what you got. Lets see his face. The face of the coward who is scared to be pointed out as a scummer. To be outed as one who funds evil.

If Evans is a Scooby Doo crook, you lot are... "those meddling kids!".

The winner will receive a brand spanking new UF t-shirt, to be premiered at the first Unprofessional Foul Up in Baltimore this July.

Good luck people. You are gonna need it.



Magnakai Haaskivi said...

If I'm Marcus Evans, can I take a picture of myself for the free t-shirt?

Nathaniel said...

Maybe this guy?

Bigus Dickus said...

Sorry Nathaniel that's bin man extroadinaire and sacked Ipshit manager Jim Magilton.

Magnakai, If you can prove it, sure.

Nathaniel said...

Shows you have much I pay attention to the Colaship/League 1/League 2/wherever the hell Ipswich Town is headed...Conference North?

Bigus Dickus said...

You decide!

Matt said...

In lieu of a picture, here's some insight into his shady business practices - no wonder he prefers to remain anonymous...

\word verification: "chance" As in fat chance of finding a picture of this guy.

miasma said...

This is the Scarlet (Ginner) Pimpernell himself!

He's the one on the left of all of these shots which were taken at an awards presentation before his severe shyness.

Bigus Dickus said...

any more evidence? This Marcus Evans appears to be

That Marcus Evans. And that's not our chap.

Tom said...

miasma -

those pictures are not of Marcus. I met him a week ago.

I do not know who that guy is though

ΓΌ75 said...

Get any pictures?

Tom said...


No. ha ha.. I can say that for the 30 seconds or so that I spoke with him, he seemed like a pretty genuinely nice guy.