Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Know Thy Enemy!

What is 'Know Thy Enemy' and why do I do it? Click here or enjoy the unique introduction below. Repetition is boring isn't it and I'm easily bored. That's why each week this segment will be introduced in a different fashion or style by one of my blogging buddies. This week I give you... The Fans Attic...

I used to have this friend, he was all doughy, pastey-white, and weak. I'll call him Stay Puft. To counterbalance Stay Puft's physical failings, he was extremely learned, reading anything he could get his hands on. Puft was fond of Sun Tzu and his teachings from The Art of War, reciting his proverbs whenever Puft thought it appropriate. It was really quite annoying.

One day I asked Puft why he had created a log of the questions his nemesis asked in his computer science classes. Rather than answers my question directly, Puft started a recitation of Sun Tzu:
"So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will fight without danger in battles.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose. If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself."

I then punched him right in the trachea. While Stay Puft lay on the ground writhing in pain, gasping for breath, I said, "So it is said that it is better to strike first, than to be struck." I was so sick of his antics. But, you know, he was correct, Sun Tzu that is, because I only knew when to strike because I knew my enemy. I knew he would recite some stupid proverb to answer my stupid question that I already knew the answer to. Sun Tzu was straight gangster.

Stay Puft is ok now and I am no longer on probation, but Sun Tzu has taught me that you must know your enemies as well as you know yourself. To that end, as Norwich endeavors to spend only one season in League One, the beloved yellowbirds and the rest of us must know our enemies--the fellow League One denizens. Bigus is tackling each opponent to learn all that he can about them and to better prepare for next season. This week it is...Brighton and Hove Albion!

Brighton and Hove Albion. The Seagulls. Well, I know where Brighton is and I know that this club has some storied tales of near victory to share with us. But apart from that, I got nothing. Oh where to begin. Research hat is ON!


Brighton were formed in 1901 and this next part I know. They play at an athletics ground called the 'Withsdean Stadium' while their new joint, the Falmer Stadium is being built. It should be ready for the 2010/11 season apparently.

Temporary home. The Withdean stadium. Not a place for football.

As I mentioned, the Seagulls have had some heady times, back in the day. They were a the top flight team and in 83 they lost in the FA Cup final, 4-0 to Manchester United. They were relegated from Division 1 (the old Prem) the same year. Annus Horribilis.

Former Brighton players worth a shout include Jimmy case, Alan Curbishley, Bobby Zamora, Mark Lawrenson, Dean Saunders, Colin Kazam-Richards and Tony Meola. Yes Tony Meola! Brighton have had 32 managers in their 108 year history. They were managed by the great Brian Clough for a year back in 73, By Arsenal legend Liam Brady from 93 to 95. Peter Taylor was the gaffer for a year in 2001 and more recently Steve Coppell managed the Seagulls for a year in 2002. Hmmm Why do managers only stay a year? Well not all. Nine of the thirty two managed the south coast side for a year or less. Today, Brighton are managed by ex Yeovil manager Russell Slade.

A young Dean Saunders. The mullet stayed for the remainder of his career.

Current players include ex Everton and QPR left winger Kevin McLeod, ex Millwall skipper David Livermore, former Reading man Nicky Forster and journey man Jason Jarrett. Brighton are Jarrett's 13th club at the age of 29.

New home: The Falmer Stadium wil be ready in 2010.

At boardroom level, lifelong fan (and real character) Dick Knight, has just stepped down as chairman and been replaced by Tony Bloom, who was instrumental in securing the funds to build the new stadium.

So where is Brighton. Well as you can see below, it's on the south coast of England and these days the seaside town is well known for having a healthy gay community. Brighton's population is 253,000, made up of 91.4% white, 3% Asian, 2.2% mixed race, 1.6% black and 1.8% of other origins.

All together now, "Oh I do like to be beside the seaside."

Brighton was also the location for the famous 1947 Richard Attenborough film 'Brighton Rock' based on the book by Graham Greene. In the U.S the film was called 'Young Scarface'. Who needs Pacino when you have Dickie boy eh? The 1932 Scarface staring Paul Muni is better than all of em I say, but hey, that's just me.

Nasty Dick. Attenborough in Brighton Rock.

Brighton, check. On to the next.


1 comment:

jape said...

"Here by the sea and sand, nothing ever goes as planned..."

/no Quadrophenia references?