Thursday, September 4, 2008

UF makes it to 1000 -- UPDATED WITH MORE

Bloody hell, we made it. We have more posts than God. UF turns 1000 with this one, and it's been a lot of fun. Still a long way to go, but we've clearly found some good, fertile ground on which to settle and spew venom about the beautiful game. I couldn't be happier, well, I could be if perhaps Beckham was dropped from the England set-up.

But I digress, this isn't about him, or any of the ridiculous stories we've covered since December (man, some real history, I know). It's about the birth and progression of a decent little community where we can indulge our soccer fanaticism. Without you all, we'd be nothing. Thanks for your support, readership, comments and quips, and keep 'em coming.

So join us after the jump for some wonderful, self-congratulatory back-patting, courtesy of the UF staff.

Bigus Dickus:
There comes a time in a football bloggers life when irrelevent stats and midly important milestones become overwhelming. This is the moment you realize that you are no longer cool but just another less-sanitized but coherent (maybe) version of Tommy Smythe.

That doesn't apply to UF'ers... of course I was talking about all of those other football blogs, the boring, safe, sucky ones that make you cringe at their willing acceptance to squeeze out 500 words of utter shite about the importance of the womens game or Landon Donovan's value to U. S soccer (none at all in case you were wondering).

All at UF should be proud of reaching 1000 posts of intelligent and clever musings, drunken live blog extravaganzas, incredible interviews and exclusive features about players mullets. Here's to another 1000 posts of superior orbicular observations.
The NY Kid:
As a small boy playing footy on the pitches of NY, I often dreamt of becoming a World Cup participant. As a somewhat larger lad playing footy in high school in NY (against a lad who would eventually play in Serie B), I often dreamt of...well, dating older women. As an aging man playing footy on the pitch in Michigan, I often dreamt of...well, dating younger women.

Beginning UF with these geniuses here (and allowing a few other stragglers to jump onboard) has allowed me to achieve...well, none of those goals, actually. But I did manage to interview an Olympic athlete and several notable footy writers, including some ESPN personalities. No, wait, that wasn't me that conducted those interviews - I'm still holding out for Titi. What exactly do I do around here?

Congratulations are warranted for all of my fellow UFers - the first 1000 posts have been filled with wit, charm, vitriol, and anti-Landycakes musings. All of that has succeeded in making this little endeavour the perfect place to call home. Stay tuned for the next 1000 posts, and beyond - it will be well worth it.
Soc-cer? No, we call it "football."
Precious Roy:
I never thought I'd see the day where I was part of a blog that made it to the 1000 post mark. That's because for the bulk of my life I had fucking clue what a blog was. Actually for the bulk of my life blogs didn't even exist. Anyway, now that it's happened, it really is as underwhelming as you can imagine. Maybe even less so, or more so. I'm not sure.

But we're glad your jobs are so miserably tedious that you use us as a diversion. If you promise not to give up the tedium and pursue a more rewarding career path, well promise to keep posting. Maybe we'll even try to do it just a little better.
Moonshine Mike:
It seems like only yesterday when a drunken scouser was chatting me up, and my first impression was that he was attempting to latch onto my whiskey collection. But the idea was long overdue, and obvious when it was mentioned. It works because there is a collection of brains with different ideas, opinions, directions. We entertain ourselves as well as our readers, and for one that's been the lagniappe for me.

In the following nine months, I've banged brains with some engaging minds with a common passion for a wonderful game. My hope is we end the day learning something new, even if it's Robinho forgets who he signed for, or that the editor has a problem with long bus rides.
There comes a time in a man's life where he is forced to leave the comforts of home and strike out for himself in the world. To grow up into a mature, upstanding member of society. 1,000 posts into this blog, and I'm sure some of you readers are concerned that we are too mainstream (actual interviews with actual ESPN writers!), too stale (really? another post on Liverpool?), or just faking it (did you even watch the game you are talking about?).

Well I want you all to rest assured that our juvenile humor isn't going anywhere. Together, we can march forward into a glorious future of soccer coach sex scandals, WAG sex scandals, and gaffer sex scandals.
The Fan's Attic:
1,000 blog posts? Man...that's a lot of billable hours.
The Likely Lad:
Well whoop-de-damn-do! A thousand blog posts in 9 1/2 months. The Tudor wives were more fertile than this place. Deadspin had 1,000 posts last Wednesday-- even if 963 of them were about beer bongs and Matt Leinart.

No surprise though, considering the makeup of UF's 73-strong stable of staff bloggers; a bunch of thieving Scousers who spend their nights pawing through the trash for lean cuisine left-overs; a couple-dozen Scummers who spend more time fighting over which of David Hirshey's nuts to suckle at than what to write about (hint: "we" don't shoot enough, "we" need cesc, "we're" so broke, yet so brilliant, etc.); the English Dracula, daydreaming of his castle gimp; some Italian dude who writes once a month about math and other stuff that confuses our dumbass readers; and The Likely Lad -- the idiot Tottenham fan, getting mollywhopped by a windmill every weekend.

Thank the Hebrew God for Joep Smeets. Unprofessional, indeed.
Late to the party, as usual.

It had been a long time since I had stopped going through the comments on Deadspin. They just weren't good anymore. Everyone was trying to one-up each other with jokes, instead of providing depth for the story. I have no idea why I wandered into this one. Perhaps it was the high of Arsenal beating Chelsea that day. Anyway, I perused the comments, and there was an idiot who put his email address in there announcing that he had a pyramid scheme that I might have interest in as a soccer fan. I replied to him with a nothing message, something like, "I'm not ready to buy just yet, but give me information anyway", and I got sucked in.

That's where it started for me. Lots of posts about bad uniforms, Gretna and the general idiocy of football's life off the pitch later, and here we are. 1000 posts deep. Good on all of us I say. Now let's get back to the dick jokes.
I'm the new guy. Ever since joining this here shindig, I've been trying to keep my head down and not anger the scousers and gooners who run this damned joint. Likely helps me with this. Bigus keeps it real and makes sure that we have the latest on all things Canary. Lingering got us started.

While I don't know if 1000 posts is a lot or not, I do know that it's crazy that folks out there actually read our rantings. And I do know that Lingering is a great chap and good mate and we all owe this whole party to him. Cheers, ya scurrilous thieving drunken scouse layabout! As to the rest of ya, can we all agree that City is ruining football with all their money? Scandalous!


Goat said...

Only 1,000? It's felt like ten times that amount. Congrats, fellas and fuck Landon Donovan.

The Likely Lad said...

each Ligue 1 "Week in Review" feels like a thousand...

ü75 said...

As in meat pie.

Chad said...

Congrats and thank you. I'll look forward to the next 1000.

BerbaBent said...

I just cant change my name yet. The wounds are fresh. I know you boys are just writing on this site to get noticed by one of the "Big" blogs. Your just a feeder blog! I cannot wait for Lingering or Bigus to have "writers block" while demanding a transfer to Soccernet.

Congrats and keep up the good work!

Kopper said...

Congrats fellas. I'm still waiting on the requisite Delia Smith post, given yesterday's news. Make that #1001.

The NY Kid said...

@Likely - keep it up, funny boy!

Bigus Dickus said...

Kopper: Only I am allowed to touch Norwich City. Yesterdays events were blown well out of proportion and I refuse to join the Norfolk press in their desperation for attention and speculation.

Joep Smeets said...

I'm not quite sure at what point during your glorious run I was swept in, but it's too late to turn back now.

here's to the next 1000

Anonymous said...

I'm only here for the free coffee and stale doughnuts.

RK5 said...

Nice job, guys. I keep coming back, so good on you. Congrats.

Keith said...

bully for you, even if you're mostly Scousers and Spurs Fans (Craig Finn, I've copyrighted that title)

strong like bull smart like tractor said...

Norfolk has press?

Oh, and congrats to all of you, be ye thieving Scousers, Arse-lickers or delusional Spurs fans (is that redundant? I think that's redundant)

Sarah said...

Congratulations boys, and thanks for your hard work! It's much appreciated. Especially now that my stupid apartment cable company decided to get rid of FSC and I am severely football starved.

Mike Georger said...

id like to think my one contribution to the site really pushed it over the edge. what edge im not sure, but it was an epic push to be sure.

Eladio said...

I was told there would punch and pie...still waiting.

The Likely Lad said...

UF officially has more readers than writers! Joep- im glad you could be here today. Sarah- you too, unless your last name begins with a P and ends with Alin. In such case you should please leave. keith- i have this ratty old villa scarf my parents must have picked up in 1982 (heh heh), i'll sell it to you for 50 bucks (seriously). georger- know that everyone here is out to harm you, physically. packimo- we stand strong. but please, a nuevo nombre soon. chad, eladio, sltslb, kop, rk-- tell your friends, like you have any...
p.s. UF was my boyhood team and plays Champions League Football every year, so why would anyone leave?

jjf3 said...

Congratulations to everyone involved, both directly and otherwise! (even you, Georger...)

Great site, great content, and here's for throwing a drunkenly stupid party when you hit 10,000...

Or when you hit 1,005...

Mike Georger said...

"georger- know that everyone here is out to harm you, physically. "

flunk me? fuck him!