Sunday, May 4, 2008

Newcastle Continues Its Winning Streak

Newcastle United had a rough patch this season, particularly the middle part where the squad won only 2 of 20 matches. Kevin Keegan was hired to right the ship during this stretch but he did not claim victory until his tenth match at the helm and going 4-0-2 since. This turn of fortune has left owner Mike Ashley with a lucky streak. Being British, he naturally headed to the casino to test his luck -- (because you know all Britons are degenerate gamblers allowing casinos to sponsor clubs) -- and lady luck was giving him a hummer to remember.

Ashley bet £480,000 on his lucky number 17 and when his ball nestled into that sweet little hole he bukkaked all over lady luck pulling in £1,284,00 for his bet. Ashley bet what was called a "complete"--explained below:

First, he bet the house maximum £2,000 on the single No 17. At odds of 35-1, it paid out £70,000.

Then he placed £4,000 on each of the four 'splits': that the number would be either 17 or the number immediately adjacent – 14, 16, 18 or 20. A total bet of £16,000 at odds of 17-1 means a win of £272,000.

He placed £8,000 on each of the four 'corner' bets – groups of four numbers including 17. A total bet of £32,000 at odds of 8-1, winning £256,000.

A 'street' bet that the number would be 16, 17, or 18. His £6,000 bet at 11-1 nets £66,000.

Two £12,000 bets that the number would be between 13 and 18, or 16 and 21. A £24,000 stake at 5-1 yields £120,000. £100,000 on each of the even-money bets: black, odd and between 1 and 18. £300,000 staked, £300,000 won.

£50,000 on each of the two 2-1 bets: the middle column on the table and the middle dozen numbers, 13 to 24. Total stake: £100,000. Total win: £200,000.

Well, that's just too complicated. Plus, Mike Ashley only went to school until he was 16 and is now reported to be worth £1.9 billion. Those two pieces of paper that I spent $200,000 to get sure seem like a stupid investment. I should have been betting on 17.


The NY Kid said...

My lucky number (and kit # in high school) is also 17. Clearly, Ashley owes me at least 400,000 pounds.

Mike Georger said...

rusty griswold thinks mike ashley is an amateur