Rooney Family Jewels: The Female Kind

I always thought that once somebody in your family made it big, you wouldn't need or want to do something that may be considered, oh, I don't know...selling your body. I was wrong. Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney's cousin, Natalie Rooney, has new boobs and she wants everybody to know.

In fact, she's so proud of them that she wants to be a "glamour" model, which I presume in the Queen's English means she wants to be a nudie model. Good for her.

Her first pro gig seems to be in The Daily Sun (NSFW). She has done amateur work in the past, flashing (NSFW) at Coleen McLoughlin's (Wayne's fiancee) 21st birthday party.

Natalie augmented herself from a 34C to a 34F. God bless her. And is excited to show them off, which is probably to the dismay of Coleen, who is limiting the alcohol at her wedding because of Rooney's rambunctious and "unsophisticated" family, including Natalie and her gay tranvestite brother.

“If Coleen doesn’t like my new boobs, I’ll squeeze her head between them.

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"I’ll soon be getting them out all over the place."

Ah, breast on face violence. My favorite kind of violence.

I must say she has a refreshing viewpoint on breasts, one I encourage other women to adopt. But not you Phil Mickelson.