Saturday, April 25, 2009

Soccernet Commentary Pulls No Punches

Soccernet's usually banal Gamecast commentary wasn't so bland today during the Manchester United - Tottenham match. As most neutrals or anti-Mancs would tell you, Howard Webb's penalty award in the second half was the turning point in the match, although it can't be blamed completely for Spurs Submissives second half collapse.

I'm still aghast that the Submissives totally blew its 2-0 halftime lead with its goalmouth being more Asia Carrera than Mary, Mother of God, with 5 second half penetrations. It would have at least given my Reds a chance at the title they handed over early this year with a string of epic bedwetting performances. Clearly, the Howard Webb penalty cannot be blamed for the Submissives prolapsed rectum, but it certainly didn't help and is the target of my ire and the Soccernet commentator's fury.

After the jump, a selection of commentator's words...


56' No idea if you are still getting my updates as the robot seems to be taking over but Manchester United have a lifeline after Howard Webb commits the refereeing blunder of the season by handing United a pen that never was.

57' Right, I'm back on apparently. Here's what you missed, a ball from Rooney, a burst into the area from Carrick, a good parry away from goal by Gomes as he challenged the midfielder and then an inexplicable penalty award to Man Utd. Absolutely astonishing.

58' Gomes got a clear touch on the ball, and it CLEARLY changes direction. Somehow, Howard Webb thought it was a penalty, Ronaldo converts and Spurs are fuming. No wonder. Its the worst decision I've seen this season, apart from maybe the Rob Styles decision. Where was that one? Oh, yeah, Old Trafford as well. Pathetic.

60' Don't get me wrong, its not United fault per se. Yes, they may go looking for a penalty but who doesn't. The fact is the referee's are blinded by Manchester United love and keep pointing to the spot. Terrible.

68' Old Trafford goes utterly mental as Rooney crosses to the back post and Ronaldo dives to nod United in front. An assist in their astonishing comeback must go to ref Howard Webb.

69' Well, what with the robot taking over the commentary, Howard Webb handing United a non-existent penalty and the Red Devils scoring two more goals in quick succession everything has gone into meltdown here. What a game!

72' Full credit to United for going goal crazy but there is no escaping the fact that their comeback was launched by one man and one man only, Howard Webb, who is off the map as a credible referee after his major rick.

76' I can't wait to hear what Harry Redknapp has to say after the game. I imagine Fergie will applaud the referee for a "brave" decision.

80' United's fans sing "2-0 and you f***ed it up," which only serves to incense Spurs fans further. Howard Webb will be a marked man after this one feels....

82' There's a carnival atmosphere inside the ground now. This could be the result that seals their title. I winder if Howard Webb will get to lift the trophy with them at the end of the season?

93' Full time and United romp on, but their comeback was started by the referee. Still, they then dispatched Spurs with a mesmerising attacking rampage.

Excellent work sir, excellent work indeed.

The decision was complete nonsense and I'm looking for anything to blame for United's success and take credit away from the squad. I'll refrain from wishing ill-will on them, but I cannot deny it has been on my mind. As for Howard Webb, I would not be surprised to see himself in a spot of bother the next time he ventures into North London.

10 comments:

Matt said...

The commentator (probably the same guy)for the 2nd leg of the Bayern-Barca game was just as funny. He was admittedly paying more attention to the Chelsea-Liverpool game and giving those viewing the Bayern-Barca gamecast updates on the happenings in London. He was also made it clear he was not so excited to be stuck reporting on the game in Germany. Somebody at the tWWL seems to have a sense of humor...I wonder if Norby knows.

The Fan's Attic said...

surprised they included you fucking blew it chant.

Precious Roy said...

Think they get away with it not because somebody has a sense of humor about it, but because nobody at the WWL is even paying attention.

Wonder if Webb eats his morning helping of dicks from an officially licensed Manchester United cereal bowl.

Mike Georger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike Georger said...

That's nice and all, but soccernet is still vehemently pro-United. Take for instance .. oh I don't know, the report for today's game.

Surely they would mention the controversy in the splash blurb?
Manchester United produced an astonishing five-goal second-half show to overhaul Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford to win 5-2 and move three points clear of title rivals Liverpool once more.No? Well SURELY they'd mention it in the lead paragraph of the report?

Manchester United produced another one of those thrilling, magical and devastating comebacks to haul themselves to a 5-2 victory over Tottenham and surely to an 18th league championship.Guess not. Well, there's no way they'd ignore the fact that the penalty was the source of momentum right?
It cannot have gone unnoticed either the half-time introduction of Carlos Tevez was the catalyst for the onslaughtOh. Well at least they'd agree the penalty was wrongly awarded right?

Heurelho Gomes will argue forever he got a touch to the ball when he sent through Michael Carrick. Carrick will always know he got there first. The man who matters decided it was a foul. Ronaldo strode up and powered home the penalty. The rest was the stuff of legend.Well I guess unquestioningly capitulating to Webb is just as good right?

Mike Georger said...

FUCK YOU HTML

Signal to Noise said...

Absolutely awful PK call, even worse reaction by Spurs, as that squad merely threw its hands up and surrendered.

That'll teach me to hope someone beats United for Liverpool to back into a Premiership title.

EbullientFatalist said...

Come On You Submissives!

The call was shit, and no doubt gave Man U the requisite momentum to win the game. But, weren't Spurs still up 2-1? I would use the word "shambolic" to describe their defense if I only knew what it meant.

30f said...

I thought I had seen other matches in the EPL recently the with same call - it doesn't seem to matter if the keeper touches the ball first (or second), if the keeper upends the attacking player it is a penalty.

This is not a troll or a pro-United thing. The PK call on Gomes seems like a consistent enforcement of a dumb-ass rule.

Am I wrong on this?

Lennon's Eyebrow said...

@Georger: I think your words had an effect. The match report now starts with "Dodgy pen sparks comeback" which I'm pretty sure wasn't there a few hours ago. Still no change to the "stuff of legend" paragraph though.

Word verification: spalatio. Sounds like a felatio the Spurs defense gave Man U in the second half.