Thursday, June 12, 2008

Euro 2008 Liveblog: Austria v. Poland

Action in The Group of Death to the Jews carries on this afternoon with a real cracker. Seriously, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. Great. Convinced? Ok good.

The early result does add some juice to the showdown at the Ernst Happel Stadium. The winner here could slot into second place in the group, taking Germany's fate off their own feet. The loser, should their be one, is dunzo.

How bout this scenario: Poland win today, then on Monday the hosts notch an early goal against a nervous Germany. Poland see this, decide to park Joseph Fritzl's basement in front of their net, and settle in for some clock-watching as time runs out on the 'shaft.

I'm a touch wet at the thought.

Lineups and so on after ze jump...

* 21 Macho
* 14 Garics
* 15 Prodl
* 03 Stranzl
* 04 Pogatetz
* 08 Leitgeb
* 06 Aufhauser
* 10 Ivanschitz
* 11 Korkmaz
* 20 Harnik
* 09 Linz


* 01 Boruc
* 13 Wasilewski
* 02 Jop
* 06 Bak
* 14 Zewlakow
* 05 Dudka
* 18 Lewandowski
* 08 Krzynowek
* 20 Roger
* 11 Saganowski
* 07 Smolarek

Ref: Howard Webb

-5 min: There'll be one Englishman on the pitch this afternoon. So... You've got that.

-1 min: Leo couldn't deliver the heads of Low or Ballack. Hickersberger and Ivanschitz should be less of a job. Smolarek and The Big Lewandowski are on yellows for the Poles. Pogatetz, Prodl, and Saumel for Austria. Everyone else: kick away!

Kick-off: Vienna crowd out in full throat. Can they will these lumberjacks to a shock win. We shall see.

3 min: Austria come out flying. Not in any particular direction or purpose, but they sho' is runnin.'

7 min: Less than ten minutes in and these number with the Super Nintendo animation numbers have already given me a headache. Who approves these things? It has to go past at least 50 people, not to mention an entire FA, before it's set to print.

10 min: It's a mess out there. Poland's cute new attack-minded look is being fairly stifled. Let's see how long Austria can keep it up.

11 min: Ugh. Austria's Harnik just bottled it bigtime. Sent in alone by brain fart backpass from a Poland defender and he scuffs it. Boruc got a touch, but there was no one else within 10 yards.

13 min: Harnik takes out his frustration by blasting the ball into The Dude's stones.

13 min: Who are these guys? Harnik set up again-- this time by his own man-- and once again fails to finish. From 8 yards out now. And got his own rebound before a Poland player stirred.

16 min: Leitgeb's turn to fail on a breakaway for Austria. Clinical counterattacking, but no goals. Bad sign.

19 min: Boruc is Poland player #2 to get the footie stung in off his nuts. At least he took it in the process of stopping Leitgeb's shot.

22 min: Would it be fair to say Boruc is putting on a Tim Howard-esque display? I'd say yes. The Pole would sure look lovely in a Tottenham Casino and Poker Club kit next year.

25 min: Austria continues to dictate the game. And keep possession. And create the odd chance. But can they actually put one in? Here's saying no.

29 min: I wish that fat, drunken, Polish ox from Giants Stadium Sunday were calling the game. It'd sound something like this: "POlska! POlskA! POOOOOOLsKA!!!"

30 min: Pole Goal! Guerreiro, aka Roger, touches one home after some nifty work by Saganowski in the box. Second goal of the day for an international ringer. Podolski for Germany. Roger, the Brazilian, for Poland.

34 min: Austria: quick up front. Loose at the back. Like Bigus's mum. And wife. And Grandmother.

40 min: a bit of header tennis in the Poland area amount to... nothing. Shocker. Austria couldn't score for all the beer in the Anschluss.

40min: and we know this, as that is precisely what has been offered to the first player to stick one.

44 min: Austria do have a lot in common with American team. No discernable shape. No threat to score. Occasional clever counterattack. Suck, generally.

44 min: Weak ass run by Harnick. Leads to threatening free kick from left hand side of goal.

45 min: That's the best they've got then? Austria attempt a set play of some sort. They fail.

45 min: One last kick for Austria. And OH!! Just wide of the upper corner. Never looked like going in though.

Half: Poland, Austria, and the blogger are all laboring.

Flash: Mourinho says I must be myself. I cannot be the New Kaka, the New Messi. He's so right.

Back now at the Happel... but can we talk a minute about Switzerland's Wankdorf Stadium? The name's enough, but did you know BSC Young Boys play there? Good stuff.

46 min: We're off!

47 min: Austria again with some early, if not fruitful, possession.

48 min: Ivanschitz gets sent through on a semi-break. But the combination of a bad angle and a bear-hug from behind from the defender see that his effort goes for naught. Goal Kick.

50 min: Nice run down the right from Linz.. corner to Austria.

50 min: Curled harmlessly into the sure hands of Boruc.

51 min: Guerreiro plays it long to Smolarek, who swivels and lets off a stunted shot at Manninger. Poland starting to assemble something...

53 min: Who's blogging that Revs/Dynamo tie tonight? It truly is a "feast of football" on the WWL today.

54 min: a boot to the nuts of Smolarek. Tough afternoon to be a Polish nutsack.

56 min: Korkmaz sees yellow for a shite tackle on the edge of the box. Free kick goes for naught. Cleared. Then back in for a corner...

57 min: Headed to safety by one of those Austrian giants. They all look the same. Everyone. On both teams.

58 min: Not much quality on the pitch right now. But more than on the comments section. Hooves? Go strap on that used maxi pad jersey of yours Royboy and tell Zed to bring out the gimp.

64 min: A downright strafing of the Austrian keeper. But he is strong. We play on.

64 min: Roman Kienast on for Austria. We're told he's the oldest man in the tournament. Perhaps then he's memorized the way to the net. The rest of the lads look like they might need a map.

66 min: "The Spray" makes its first appearance of the match. Being used to patch up the left ankle of Saganowski the Saint.

68 min: Poland free kick from 32 meters... just dips over the bar. Touched apparently, so it's a corner.

70 min: 20+ minutes from having both hosts knocked out before the final day of the group stage.

71 min: Worst part of this dual hosting business: Not the travel, but the lost qualification spot. Who wouldn't prefer another English psychodrama to this chuckfest??

73 min: Corner to Austria... how bout now?!?!?

74 min: Right. Thought so. Aufhauser off having run a paltry 9.15 km.

78 min: I'm chastened. Austria not eliminated with a loss here. If they beat Germany and Croatia tops Poland, it'd be a 3-way tie for second. Of course they'd prob have to beat the Germans by 3 or 4 goals.

80 min: Guerreiro tries some Brazilian shit on the edge of the Austrian box. Nothing comes of it. That's why he ain't in yellow.

82 min: Best unintentional humor of Euro '08 must be the announcers pimping the NBA finals.

83 min: Another Austria corner, another scuffed shot from the edge of the 18.

84 min: To call him a "menace" would be a bit strong, but Harnik has been creating the Austrian version of chances on the right side. All game.

The Brazillack is comes off for some standard white dude. It's now a whitewash on the pitch. Both sides.

88 min: Time, apparently, is running out on the Austrians. Thanks to our announcers for that.

90 min: Austria has completed more and a better percentage of their passes. Does this count for nothing? Should the Poles get ALL three points? Where's Hillary on this??

90+2 min: last gasp free kick for Austria. AND IT'S A PK!!!!

Prodl pulled down in the box.

Here it comes...

90+3 min: GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!!! Old man Vastic!!! 1-1 is the score. Lifetime supply of beer for Vastic!

Full Time: 1-1 is our final. Unreal. No way that's a penalty. But well taken nonetheless. Austria have earned this moment for sure. Not cos they're any good really, but they do try hard.

And obviously it's the English ref who calls for the suspect PK at the death. I love you guys.

The Wrap: It's all for the taking in Group B. Luka and the Croats clinch first and in doing so avoid Portugal in the Q-finals. Germany are through with a win over the hosts. An Austria win in that game would likely put them through, provided they maintain that lead in goal differential. And as for Poland. Poor Polska. Still, they have no gripe. The keeper saved them in the opening minutes and they failed to put Austria away late. And with an English referee you have to assume that late PK is coming.
Farewell folks.


Bigus Dickus said...

Not fast enough Krieg. 11 mins already. More detail...Crack on!

Precious Roy said...

If at first you don't succeed. Fail, fail again.

Bigus Dickus said...

Boruc is keeping them in it big time. Krieg. How do you type while you are holding a...a..your....weiner snitzel?

Precious Roy said...

That's two great shots right in the nuts. Three inches lower on both, it's two more goals and two fewer eunuchs.

Bigus Dickus said...

Artur Boruc is unfuckingbelievable!

He will not be at Popes O'Rangers much longer!!

Andrew said...

I'm of the mind that mit zee nuss-less effort by Germany today, Holland or Spain look like the new favorites to run the whole thing. Right?

I still don't believe in Portugal even with that guy with the hair and the skills and the ability to destroy hopes: Nuno Gomes.

Precious Roy said...

Andrew: I'm going to work backwards on this, so far I'm sure the Swiss can't win, Greece is also probably out. So, I've still got 14 teams to eliminate. I'll have a better grasp on who might win, say, after the final.

Precious Roy said...

Also, given Austria's finishing skills, I'm starting to think Eddie Johnson is Austrian.

Precious Roy said...

Bummer... could be up 3-0. Instead down 0-1. Should I be faster than the blogger?

Andrew said...

Good skill, terrible defending.

Fuckin' Poles. Always beating up on the Germanic peoples.

Mike Georger said...

my poland getting out of the group prediction is still alive!

Bigus Dickus said...

Likely Lad. Speed up..Roy is complaining. Want him to take over? Roy. He's new...Give him a go. He's a little....a little ..Slow. Spurs fan. Enough said!

Bigus Dickus said...

Mike. That would be jammy to say the least! I think Germany win the last game.

Lingering Bursitis said...

C'mon Likely!

Precious Roy said...

Ah, right. Spurs fan. Probably harder to type with hooves. I'll cut slack.

Gonna miss second half so was unable to claim any live-bloggamy today.

Carry on.

Mike Georger said...

jesus christ, you must be this swarthy to play for poland

Andrew said...

I'd like to see Austria get one back. They're scrapping well.

Also, Euro 2012: Poland-Ukraine co-hosting. Is that really necessary?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Good trick on Guerreiro's part: move to a country where you're guaranteed to get a spot in the national XI

Bigus Dickus said...

Lingering/Mike. Alex did the same thing. Japanese my arse!

Mike Georger said...

david regis finds your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Andrew said...

Poalnd: Brazil on the Vistula?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Bigus: it appears to be all the rage. Olisadebe moved to Poland, Yakin went to Switzerland, not to mention all the talented fellas from Senegal and Ivory Coast who trundle across to Paris

Precious Roy said...

Can't wait for those matches up near Chernobyl.

Mike Georger said...

lets not forget hargreaves goldbricking maple leaf ass

Lingering Bursitis said...

Chernobyl gave Shevchenko his superhuman ability to underachieve as soon as he left Serie A

Precious Roy said...

Host Fail!

Andrew said...

@ Mike Georger: Jonathan de Guzman left the Great White North to play for the Netherlands. Canadian soccer players are leaving en masse. I fail to understand this.

Mike Georger said...

with a name like de guzman youd think he was proud to be a canuck

Mike Georger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lingering Bursitis said...

AND Jimmy Nichol from Northern Ireland

Lingering Bursitis said...

(he was Canadian too...)

Andrew said...

I need more Julie Foudy in my life. I wish tWWL would allow her to comment on other sports. With Emmitt Smith in support.

Lingering Bursitis said...

From Wikipedia:
"This has changed over the past two decades, and soccer has overtaken ice hockey as the sport with the most registered players in the country. In 2005, there were 841,466 soccer players compared to 543,390 registered hockey players in Canada. Despites this it still lags behind the other two sports in terms of spectating and media coverage, through there appears to have been a recent shift towards soccer in this regard as well."

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's no citation for this.

Mike Georger said...

thats not shocking, hockey is the most expensive sport for kids to play, you have to buy them new equipement every year. soccer is the sport of poor people around the world.

Bigus Dickus said...

Both Hargreaves parents are English.

Mike Georger said...

his brother played for the canadian youth team, if he werent as good as he allegedly is hed be playing for canada for sure

Andrew said...

Canadian soccer: where exported talent happens.

Bigus Dickus said...

He brother is obviously plain stupid!

Andrew said...

check that, "talent."

I think Austria pulls this out 2-1. They've got that ambition, baby.

Bigus Dickus said...

Guerrero and Austria need each other. Did you see that fluff?

Mike Georger said...

bigus im guessing his brother just sucked and thats why he was playing for canada

either way, i cant stand hargreaves and will take any opportunity to talk shit about him

Mike Georger said...

from the bbc liveblog

BBC analyst Martin O'Neill is asked about the Gareth Barry situation. "I think that might be difficult [to hang onto him]. He's told me he fancies going to Liverpool. That's a big setback to us. But the offer that Liverpool have made is just not acceptable."

15 million isnt acceptable? fuck you, at this point i hope you keep him and he refuses to play so youre stuck with his wages and a messy PR situation. dick.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Oh Manninger, you Arsenal cast-off. Solid goalie, for the most part. Booo

Lingering Bursitis said...

O'Neill has no say in the matter. He doesn't set the price tag. Barry will leave, and become ours, and rule the midfield roost with Steven G.

Oh fucking glory

Andrew said...

I want to know how good Guerrero's Polish is. Polish with a Brazilian accent?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Likely Lad: I might well do it if I can get control of the TV.... the Revs are hilarious to watch

The Likely Lad said...

You're a sick man LB.

Does anyone know what heat stroke feels like? I think I'm having one.

Keith said...

This from the squad that was asking for 10 million for Muggsy Slipperfingers???? If he's worth 10, Gareth is worth 30. Get bent, scouse-eaters. Paul McCartney sucks.

Andrew said...

Didn't O'Neill claim Villa wasn't a feeder club? Well, they are. They'll lose Barry this year, and Gabby Ag in a few seasons. Mellberg jumped ship. Too bad because I kinda like Villa.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Quit your whinnying Keith, it's blocking out the din of all the players desperate to sign with Aston Villa.

We'll pip you for Milner too, if you're not careful.

Keith said...

I'm sorry, what exactly did Liverpool win this year? The same fuckall that Villa won?

/ignoring the Reserves title match. Didn't happen. Nope.

And Agbonlahor ain't leaving. Not when he'll be playing CL football in a year.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Keith, is there a new name for the UEFA Cup I'm not aware of? Do they call it the CL now as well?

So confusing!

ps. 3-0
pps. most of that lot will be running your first XI ragged before too much longer

Andrew said...

@ Ketih: Who are O'Neill's targets this summer? I can't find anything. Lerner has opened up the purse a little, no?

I was disappointed they sold Luke Moore to West Brom. He was great on my FIFA07.

Bigus Dickus said...

Mike. I think that's their point. They are desperatley trying to hold onto him. They are gaging to pay his wages. In fact they are gagging to give him a pay rise and offer him a tasty new deal.

What did Hargreaves ever do to you?

Bigus Dickus said...

Likely...You blog like old people fuck.

Keith said...

We've been linked with:

About 20 other keepers
van der Vaart
among others

asterisks for the most likely

And Luke Moore is good, and he's got flashes of brilliance in him-- when he wants to. He hasn't proven the stick to fight after his position, and when he got opportunities at the Villa last year, he was toss.

The Fan's Attic said...

@maximus penus: with wrinkles?

Lingering Bursitis said...

Being linked to Chimbonda is not a good thing. I'd leave him off the list if I were you. He's a shit defender, and he's not very good at penalties (just ask the PSV Eindhoven keeper what he thinks).

And leave Yossi alone. It's Crouch or no-one.

Mike Georger said...

ive got nothing against villa, but realistically unless one of the big four goes under they wont be breaking into the champions league. and lets not forget everton is sitting there ahead of them.

and not to discredit their season but when you have a shot at fifth and lose to wigan, im not taking you too seriously as a threat to the top four over the course of a season.

if theres gotta be a fifth place team id rather it be villa than everton, city, pompey, or any of the other teams with revolving door starting elevens

Precious Roy said...

Just out of curiosity LB, do you have any idea what interest rate Liverpool will be paying on the loans they need to take out to purchase these players?

United are saddled with at least one at about 14%. And the credit market is even tighter now, so happy shopping.

Keith said...

Oh, I'm not happy about Chimbo either, but if he's on as cover for one of the Portuguese RBs, then fine. Whatev. Gardner's a better backup right back, but we'll at least have someone to deal with the crap teams in Intertoto and the first stages of UEFA.

And if you have Gareth, Masch and Steve Geez, what the hell you need Yossi for?

Mike Georger said...

just like the loans they didnt take to buy torres and babel?

Andrew said...

WOW. Austrian ambition pays off. The ref.

Keith said...

I'm not gonna lie, Mike, 5th was a bit out of Villa's league this year. But, since O'Neill's come in, we've jumped 10 spots in the table, and he still really hasn't finished overhauling and building the squad.

hockalees said...

Looks like Howard Webb will get upgraded to the presidential suite at his hotel this evening.

Precious Roy said...

Yeah, bit of a draw broke out there amongst our bickering. Dodgy call, but Austria lives.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Roy, no, I don't know to be honest. I'm sure it'll get smoothed out. These things often do as far as the big clubs are concerned, and it definitely explains why we're in a selling mood and only picking up modest purchases so far (Barry excluded of course, if it comes through)

Keith said...

You mean like Leeds, LB?

Andrew said...

Villa needs a strong attacking mid. Diego and vdV would be big pick-ups, with big transfer fees, but I don't see them leaving their current clubs. Saviola would be nice.

@ Mike Georger: Yeah, losing to Wigan with a Euro place on the line is shit. Consistency was not Villa's strong point this past season. That's what separates the being fourth to being fifth or sixth.

Andrew said...

Do Villa, Everton, Pompey, and the other "tier-two" clubs have the financial well-being to compete with the Big 4?

For the next few seasons it seems like the only way a club like Villa or Pompey would ever make the CL would be through a miracle.

Mike Georger said...

and what happened the last time a non big four team made the champions league? bounced in qualifying

Keith said...

Lerner's not as rich as the Glazers, but he's quite rich, and he's been, with O'Neill's aid, doing fantastic business with Villa. Part of the reason we've got such a small squad is that we've been selling the crap players off.

And our wage structure is pretty comparable to Arsenal's, which might, given what's been stirred up over there, turn out to be a bad thing.

Andrew said...

@ Mike Georger: I fear what happened to Leeds would happen to another club if they made CL. Very unlikely, but not impossible. With big expectations comes big price tags. Not to say a club would makes the same mistake as Leeds, but entering dire financial straits is a very real possibility for a number of Prem teams.

Mike Georger said...

god willing what happened to leeds will happen to united as they are the worst in debt. liverpool will be fine, if they lose more money they will sell the team, i dont doubt that for a minute.

Keith said...

I don't think it'll happen to Villa. O'Neill's not the kind of guy to splash 16 mill on Darren Bent, for example.

Andrew said...

I can remember watching Leeds make that CL run in 00-01 as a freshman. A group of us would watch the games via an international feed in the communications dept. I became a fan . . . bought a jersey, Ferdinand, I think. And then Ridsdale happenend. Teaches me about jumping on a bandwagon, but Leeds did play quality football.

Mike Georger said...

holy shit i didnt know ridsdale was still in the game, let alone running cardiff. ugh.

Andrew said...

Second chances for everyone at Cardiff . . . Ridsdale, The Player Formerly Known as Robbie Fowler . . .