Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Questionable E-Bay Purchases for: The Manchester United Fan

[Ed. Note: The flu is finally subsiding, fading away like Man City's aspirations for 4th place. Slow start this morning, but it'll come back together again. A barrage of posts today, and then back to normal service.]

This is the second in a series of reports on the beautiful bounty provided by E-Bay. If you know someone who is a fan of Manchester United, then first of all you have my condolences. If for some reason you actually like this person and wish to buy them a gift, then you may be a candidate for beatification. After the jump you will find some suggestions for the depraved ManUre fan in your life.

Item #1: Manchester United Teddy Bear (note: This item is not Teddy Sheringham).

This lovely item is for the little one or woman (or non-traditional male) in your life. At only $.92, it is an absolute steal, but there is already one bid, so be sure to act fast.

Item #2: Manchester United bedspread and canopy set.

The second item is a wonderful ManUre bedspread and canopy set for your little ankle-biter. If you insist on having your child tormented by dreaming of that diving poofter Ronaldo, this may be for you.

At $99.99, this is an expensive item, but there are currently 0 bids, so you may be able to talk them down a bit.

Item #3: Manchester United belt buckle

In the Venn diagram covering ManUre fans and cowboys, the overlap is approximately .00001% of the total population. However, this item may come in handy for your favorite hooligan, as this belt buckle may come in useful during the latest donnybrook against rival supporters (or even against Sir Alex).

At only $6.99, this item makes a wonderful season's end gift, and there are currently 0 bids.

Item #4: Manchester United blazer

For the unstable ManUre fan (note: this is repetitively redundant), we offer this lovely blazer in an eye-popping design.

Please note that it is apparently necessary to be a fan of #9, Louis Saha, in order to truly feel comfortable wearing this. The price is a respectable $32.99, and there are actually 2of these monstrosities available.


Will said...

total population * .00001%
6,656,247,934 * .0000001
665 Cowboy ManYoo fans.

More than I though, really.


The NY Kid said...

I am both frightened and delighted that someone took the time to do the math.