Don't Let The Door Hit You On The...

Referees generally get a raw deal. When they execute their job flawlessly, rarely are they singled out for credit. But, should their performance be less than stellar, the burning spotlight is focused right on them, illuminating every little flaw on what may have just been a bad day at the office.

That said, they're not born into the profession. Maybe it's for the Love of the Game or maybe it's because they enjoy being screamed at by grown adults, but the Men in Black (or yellow... or red... or green...) choose this life. It's a job. They're free to leave the madness behind anytime they want, to free themselves of the indignity of having their manhood, the feces count of their brain matter or their full allotment of chromosomes from being brought into question.

They're people, right? People with day jobs, bills, families and feelings. Who wouldn't look to greener pastures?


Well, we're not going to have Premier League referee Steve Bennett to kick around anymore. (well, maybe not...)

As it turns out, Mr. Bennett has scored himself a new gig. But, he's not leaving the reffing 'industry'. He's simply switching sports.

The man who once accused Premier League players of deliberately getting booked so they could enjoy some time off, will now help develop refs for cricket.

In all actuality, as an 'independent director', this doesn't necessarily mean Mr. Bennett won't be doing both jobs. I can't speak to whether or not he'll still be reffing PL matches (or spouting off at the mouth), but methinks this sets an interesting precedent. Once they wear their welcome out at one sport, refs can move onto ruining another sport. I believe Egypt may have some suggestions for Howard Webb.

Maybe somebody should alert Bill Simmons.

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I don't even know where to start

It's the last week of the season in the SPL. Can you feel the excitement? I can, but I know there is one guy who will not. That man is Stuart Dougal who, as of yesterday, has retired as a referee in Scotland. Judging from the reactions from both sides after his last match--Rangers-Aberdeen on Saturday--he waited one game too long to do so.

Dougal had a bit of a 'mare in that match, sending off a player from each side, but missing the call in both cases. Below you can see the replay of the incident that left the Dons a man down in the 18th minute.



Fine, fine acting there by Kyle Lafferty. Did you catch the wink to a teammate at the end? Dougal did end up evening up the sides in the 40th minute when he sent off Gers' Madjid Bougherra for kicking Aberdeen keeper Jamie Langfield in the head. I have found no video of the incident, but I do have this picture:


To be fair, the red card was apparently given on the insistence of the lineman, but no contact was made on Langfield by Bougherra's boot. Oops #2.

Obviously, these decisions rankled both sides. I, as an Aberdeen fan, am not going to say that they changed the outcome of the game. I will only say that the losses hurt both teams and the red card suspensions will hurt them some more.

But wait! The SFA has reviewed the evidence and, backed up by an admission for Dougal that he was wrong on both counts, look likely to drop the bans on Charlie Mulgrew and Bougherra. Further, the SFA are said to be mulling a ban on shameless diver Lafferty, though any ban will not take effect until next season. Rangers have also taken a stand on Lafferty, fining him an undisclosed amount and were also likely that catalysts for his public apology.

Also big on the public apology is referee Dougal. As noted above, he announced that he would retire a week earlier than previously expected. A fairly deflating end for a man who just last year got the plum assignment on the Scottish schedule--the SFA Cup Final. Dougal had also reffed two Intertoto finals and had been selected as a fourth official at both Euro 2004 and the 2002 Super Cup. However, this season had been particularly tough for him because of some injury concerns. Earlier in the month it seemed that he was destined to finish up his career with lower division matches until the SFA decided to give him the referee's equivalent of the testimonial. Of course, I don't think anyone involved in the selection will be sanctioned, only the referee who has admitted he was out of his element.

Finally, since I have your ear (or eyes), a word or two on the final weekend in the SPL. There are essentially three races to look out for on the final weekend. On Saturday, Inverness CT will host Falkirk in a last ditch relegation fight. Anything less than a win, and Falkirk will go down. ICT will likely go down with a loss, but can be saved if St Mirren pull a Norwich on the last day (lose by a bunch with everything on the line) while hosting Hamilton.

The Top Six finish up on Saturday. Rangers and Celtic, of course, are vying for the top spot. Celtic handed the reins back to Rangers with a draw against Hibs last week. Rangers will take the title with a win or a draw and Celtic draw or loss. Celtic host Hearts, who have nothing to play for, while Rangers travel to Dundee United who do. United need a single point to secure European play. Should they fail to produce that point, then the door is open for Aberdeen to sneak into the last European slot with a win. Aberdeen will have to defeat a suddenly in-form Hibernian squad at Pittodrie to even have a hope. The games will kick off at 8.00 AM EDT, so say a little prayer the night before for my beloved Dons, won't you?

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Scotland Wrap

An article popped up in my inbox the other day that made me contemplate that which I would rather not think about. I would think it rather obvious that anyone who goes into officiating a sport, especially professionally, is a fan of the sport. And, summarily, when one grows up as a fan of the sport, they have teams that they support. In a country like Scotland, which has half of its population centered around a city with two major teams, that support is likely to go to one of those clubs. Hence, it is entirely possible that a large portion of Scotland's referees support either Celtic or Rangers and that, subconsciously (one hopes, at best) decisions are made that support these clubs.

I bring this up, and tacitly accept it as something that does occasionally happen, because of this past weekend's Hamilton-Celtic match. Right before halftime, with Celtic down 1-0, a Hamilton defender gets beaten by a long ball and lets his mark in behind him. The defender clips the attacker's heels and, last man back being what it is, gets a red card. That's not the problem. The problem is that the foul occured about 2 yards outside of the box, and Celtic were awarded a penalty kick. In the video below, you can catch the foul at about 3:25 and see the replays thereafter (also, check out Hamilton's early goal. Quite impressive).

Either the referee or the linesman is at serious fault here. Was one of them wearing green-hooped glasses when deciding to award a PK?

Celtic, to their credit, took full advantage of the call to even the match before halftime. In the waning minutes of the second half, Paul Hartley scored (7:20 of the video) and Celtic secured all three points in a scrappy match. That's ten wins on the trot for Celtic, who look very much in control of the league.

Since the last Scotland update on here, three rounds of fixtures have been played. Rangers, of course, are fighting to keep up with Celtic, and did well the Saturday previous to destroy Kilmarnock away 4-0. However, in a midweek tussle last Wednesday, Rangers failed to score and drew Motherwell away 0-0. Saturday, with their team sitting four points back of Celtic (who were to play on Sunday), Rangers needed three points and got them with a 2-1 win over St. Mirren. Rangers appeared to ice the game pretty early, scoring twice in the first 10 minutes in front of the home crowd. St. Mirren pulled the one back in the 81st minute, but were unable to get any more.

Before Saturday's match, Dundee United seemed to be sitting well in third place, while on a good run of form. Unfortunately for them, they crashed out against Kilmarnock 2-0. One would not have guessed the result considering that Killie had lost five straight, but that's why they play the games, right? A goal on either side of halftime sent United down a spot into fourth.

Hearts were the beneficiary of the Terrors loss. Hearts took the long trip up to Inverness on Saturday and came away with a lackluster, but important 1-0 win. Bruno Aguiar scored the lone goal for the visitors, who now lead Dundee United by one point.

The match of the weekend, yes I'm biased, was Hibernian hosting Aberdeen. Hibernian had a stranglehold on the offense for most of the game, but Aberdeen stymied them time and again. In the 40th minute, Aberdeen took advantage of a mistake on a free kick to score. Hibs defender and captain Rob Jones ducked out of the way to allow his keeper to collect the ball. Darren Mackie nipped in behind him and nodded the ball past Andrew McNeil. Zander Diamond doubled the Dons' lead in the 53rd, freely heading in a Sone Aluko corner. Hibs continued to attack, something they have done a lot os this year while playing a 4-3-3, and broke through in the 62nd. Rob Jones, he of the earlier mistake, knocked in a corner from close range. Hibernian, who outshot Aberdeen 18-6, continued to press for an eqaulizer and got one with the last kick of the game. Steven Fletcher proved the point-saving hero when he squeezed the ball into the net after a goal mouth scramble. It was a wild game where both teams could feel aggrieved for not taking all three points.

In the remaining game for the weekend, Falkirk defeated Motherwell 1-0, bringing the home side's unbeaten streak to six in all competitions. The goal was scored by Michael Higdon, his third in the last three games, and came in the 37th minute. For Motherwell, it was the end of a week that saw the high of drawing Rangers diluted by two losses.

Current table (Team, points, goal differential)

Celtic, 37, +22
Rangers, 33, +21
Hearts, 23, -2
Dundee United, 22, +3
Kilmarnock, 19, -6
Aberdeen, 18, -1
-------------------
Motherwall, 17, -3
Falkirk 16, -2
Hibernian, 16, -6
Inverness CT, 14, -6
St. Mirren, 12, -7
-------------------
Hamilton, 10 -13

If there is anything surprising in this table, it's that the gap from second to third is less than that of the EPL. Maybe Scotland's southern neighbors should work on getting a league that isn't so Top 2 heavy, huh? < /sarcasm >

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A Goal Named Casper Update: With New Video

Bigus is our Coca-Cola Championship expert, so I hope I'm not treading on his toes with this post, but Saturday's match between Reading and Watford was a doozy. The teams fought to a 2-2 draw, but Reading did not deserve the result, as you will see in this video:



Did you see it? Nope. I didn't either nor did anybody else save for one lonely linesman and a gullible ref who believed him.

Stuart Attwell was the youngest and most promising ref in England. I say "was" because the responsibility for this costly error will fall on his shoulders. Attwell had awarded a goal kick until his linesman notified him that ball had cross the goal line. Of course it had not. In fact, it was not even between the sticks on the part of the play where the goal was awarded.

In the ensuing mayhem, Watford manager Aidy Boothroyd was sent off. I'm sure this week's Ed Hochuli will get his own sendoff, probably down to League Two with Mark Halsey or lower.

Never has there been a more appropriate for this song at Vicarage Road:

"Three blind refs,
Three blind refs,
See how they run!
See how they run!

Their whistles are stuck,
And their eyes are closed!
What they call, nobody knows!

Three blind refs,
Three blind refs..."

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Definitely Not A Yellow

There are two things about the phenomenon of "streaking" that bother me. First, is calling somebody a streaker when they still have clothes on. Second, men streaking. Although, if the second is true, I prefer the first to be true as well. That way...well, you know.

The video after the jump has both of these things. Why, then, am I showing you this? Because it's funny.


The Sun reports Spartak Moscow defender Radoslav Kovac, a Czech Republic international, took out one of these so-called streakers this weekend. It was actually a nice takedown without the use of hands. How typically soccer! Kovac managed with a delicate stab of his right foot to just clip the "streaker's" heel and send him sprawling. A professional foul, if I might say so myself.

But, apparently tripping a trespasser on the field is a bookable offense, as Kovac was awarded a yellow for his vigilantism.

Maybe the ref was drunk.

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I'd like his debt payment plan, please.

Is this the referee or is it Ryan Cabrera?

Mercifully, we will start today with a post neither lauding Liverpool, nor containing tears for Arsenal. We will focus on a referee, though, because those guys always turn out to be bastards.

Coming from the old news file, German referee Robert Hoyzer was convicted in 2005 of accepting bribes to fix matches in 2004 and earlier. Hoyzer shows up again this week because the terms of his settlement of the DFB have been released, and boy, did he get a sweetheart deal.

Alright, so maybe Hoyzer did not get a sweetheart deal per se, but he did get a greatly reduced rate. As part of Hoyzer's settlement, he agreed that the DFB lost 750,000 euros, or $1.18 million at today's rate, becuase of his actions. Instead of having to repay in full, however, Hoyzer agreed to pay about $1500 a month over 15 years, a total of $270,000. If he fulfills these terms, the DFB will agree to drop any claim at further renumeration.

I wonder if his lawyers can talk to my student loan people? I would love to have that kind of consolidation of debt.

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The ref's a wanker

Yeah, Arsenal rogered by the referee in their tie with Liverpool. Call it sour grapes, but I don't care. If Gunners get the benefit of either disputed penalty call, they are likely watching film of Avram's "tactics" this morning.

I guess the dynamic duo of Hicks and Gillett have decided that the best way for them to overcome Rafa's obstinate rotation policy is to just go all out and bribe the refs. I kid, sort of. Or maybe a superbly trained athlete like Ryan Babel, who was able to easily blow through a weak shirt grab, didn't dive and really did lose his balance two steps later and flung himself to the ground in the opposite direction. Come vent with me, after the jump.

After the game, Arsene Wenger rightly blamed the refs. He told the official website that:

"I believe that we have to live with that and sometimes you have to swallow it. It is like that but it is very difficult to understand it because it was not a penalty tonight. I watched it clearly again. Last week [the challenge on Hleb] was a real penalty but we have to accept it. As well we have to accept in a game like that where we had so much control, but we were too naive. We lacked a little bit of maturity defensively."

Hey, at least he didn't bust out the usual "I didn't see anything" defense. I'm sure non Arsenal fans are laughing, but he has a point. If that penalty isn't called and Babel picks up a yellow for diving, then Arsenal advance on away goals.

If the Hleb call is reversed the outcome is less clear, but it would have been an advantage to have won at Emirates. After Diaby's early goal, it would have been 3-1 Arsenal in aggregate.

In a high stakes environment like this, its a shame that the referee feels a need to interject himself so blatantly into proceedings. And these weren't even shitty EPL refs like Mark Clattenburg! I was hoping for more, Mr. Peter Frojdfeldt, whatever Nordic country you hail from. At least he didn't grow up five minutes from Dirk Kuyt.

Arsenal fans can take some cheer from last night's proceedings, though. They bossed play for large parts of both legs, and the team clearly has the quality to beat anyone in Europe. Theo Walcott looked exceptional out on the wing, and he would be a huge upgrade over Eboue if he can stick in that role. Gilberto played well replacing Flamani. Its too bad he apparently can't be happy as a squad player, because he offers great depth in the midfield and would be able to spell Flamani in games against Bolton and Wigan. We also learned that Rosicky and Van Persie are made of glass, and should be flogged off to some middling Continental club, or Man City, at the earliest opportunity.

Anyways, its looking like another empty season for Wenger. That's four in a row, if you are keeping score. This weekend's visit to Old Trafford could very well be a severe beating given the fragile state of the team psyche. Like every Arsenal supporter on earth, I'm on record that he needs to make it rain this summer and buy some depth.

Also I'm hoping for Chelsea to beat Liverpool and make it to Moscow, just to see the hilarity that will ensue when Abramovich literally tries to fix a Champion's League Final. Ronaldo and Rooney better make sure they don't visit the wrong whorehouse when they are town, less they get arrested and shipped off to the gulag in Kamchatka.

And no, I'm not bitter at all.

[photo credit: BBC, Getty]

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Open Letter to the Women of Scotland

Dear Women of Scotland,

I am sorry I screwed up that last minute call against your country's national team. I realize now that I am the cause for your pain on the night of November 17 in 2007. Sorry. I'm the bad guy.

Sincerely,

Manuel Enrique Mejuto Gonzalez


For those that don't know, the above Mr. Gonzalez refereed the Euro 2008 qualifying match between Scotland and Italy. His bizarre foul call below, which overruled his assistant on that side, led to Italy's game winning goal.

Subsequently, as he gave the win to Italy, he must also be blamed for the immediate rise in domestic violence that followed.

It seems that drunken Scots don't take losing too well. This poorly sourced article attributes a one day rise in violence on women in Glasgow to two factors interacting with each other: alcohol and the national team's loss. What it leaves out--mouthy Scottish women. As any good wifebeater will tell you, these women obviously deserved it. They probably sided with the ref, or said Italy deserved to win, or something like that. Yep, it has nothing to do with the record drinking levels recorded in pubs that day.

UF in no way endorses the actions of the day. Wifebeating is bad, m'kay?
Photo from the beeb. But you'd know that if you clicked the link.

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