Is It A Secret Code?

Well this is an interesting set of pictures.

Do we need a Little Orphan Annie Secret Decoder Ring to crack this code?

Let the conspiracy theories begin.

Read more on "Is It A Secret Code?"...

UF Quick Throw: Cesc Charged

We are lousy with short posts this morning. Please forgive us.

Cesc has been found guilty of improper conduct by the FA over that incident against Hull City in March. Not for wearing that stupid jacket, but for spitting at Hull assistant Brian Horton. It is expected that Fabs will be banned for two matches. Arsenal do not plan an appeal.

[Setanta]

Read more on "UF Quick Throw: Cesc Charged"...

Trying to ignite the remains of the day

Alright Gooners. So you beat Hull, the team with the sour, sullen manager whose tactics conspire to choke the beautiful football of Arsenal FC, and you're elated to be in the semi-finals of the FA Cup! At least I hope you are.

And yet, there is the messy matter of Spitgate, which could easily evolve into one of those "Who Shot JR?" media frenzies if the hungry press have anything to do with it.


Now Cesc himself has gone on record about his class and character about spitting:

“I categorically deny that I spat at anybody after the match. I have never done this in my whole career on the pitch, so why would I do it when I am not even playing? I can understand the frustration of losing a game to a dubious goal, that has happened to me many times in my career as well. But this is not the fault of me or any of the Arsenal players.”

So how on earth does he explain this?




And more importantly, if it does come out that he spittled upon some Tigers underling, what happens next? Barry Glendenning has a few (sarcastic) ideas.

Read more on "Trying to ignite the remains of the day"...

Trouble in Boys' Town

Yesterday, it was reported that Cesc Fabregas will miss 4 months with "a knee." To my mind, Cesc is Arsenal's first, second and third best player.

Sitting fifth in the table after a disappointing start, will Arsenal finally splash cash on big signings in January? And who stands to benefit from the Gunners' troubles?

On top of Arsenal's other struggles, the loss of Fabregas will make the second half of the season that much more difficult. One would expect Arsene Wenger to spend big in the January Transfer window to bring in some experienced depth to protect their VERY lucrative CL spot. However, Wenger's "Boys Town" strategy defines him. He might well rather finish 5th or 6th his way than claw his way to fourth having brought in grown ups.

Looking at the table, Arsenal are fifth on 31 points. Forget United in fourth; that's an illusion given their two games in hand. So Villa are three points above the Gunners in true fourth. Below "Boys Town" are Hull, Everton and Fulham. Nothing really scary there, you say? However, consider that Hull grabbed 27 points in their first 18 games. Hull! Who's to say that an Everton or a Portsmouth can't make a run? And how many points will Arsenal get in the second half?

Looking further down, it seems that even lowly Tottenham picked the right year to get off to a slow start. Their 19 points after 18 games is pathetic. But that's only 12 points behind Arsenal and are bound to do much better in the spring. I doubt they'll catch the Gunners, but that poses the question...

Who is best situated to take advantage of Cesc's injury on top of Arsenal's other troubles? Villa is the obvious answer, but who else do you like?

Read more on "Trouble in Boys' Town"...

A really quick, hungover preview of today's festivities

Die Mannshaft. La Seleccion. Cooly efficient Teutonic machinery against the emotional, flamboyant, insanely skilled Spanish. And about a million other timeworn national cliches. ESPN is even bringing up the Holocaust. Yes, it can only mean the final is upon us. A quick UF preview, after the jump.

A good portion of this blog was picking the Germans before the tournament started, but 

Spain's demolition of the pesky Russians seems to have swayed opinion. Since Villa is likely not playing today, Cesc seems a lock to start in some version of a 4-5-1  4-4-1-1 (the Spanish would never resort to such ugliness as a 4-5-1! please). If Torres can convert some of his chances into goals, Spain have a really good shot today.

Meanwhile, Ballack faces a late fitness test on his injured calf. After missing the final six years ago in Tokyo, I would imagine that he plays if his leg is still attached to his knee. The general consensus is that the Germans will have to use their physical advantage and rough up the more skilled Spainiards a bit. And lets not forget that Jens is in goal for the Germans.

Your thoughts, dear readers?

Read more on "A really quick, hungover preview of today's festivities"...

Euro 2008 Team Profiles: Spain

Spain is going to win the 2008 European Championships.

Or is that "Spain are going to win"? Christ, I didn't think this was going to involve my having to consult the MLA stylebook.

But, yeah, Spain, the surest fire chokers in all of international football (well of the ones that made it to the Euro). Those guys. They are going to win. And they are going to look good doing it.

I say that and I haven't even been drinking all day. Nor am I gay. Although I might have a borderline unhealthy man crush on Fernando Torres, I'd totally nail that girl in the pic right above this sentence. Even if she does have a slightly asymmetrical face, she's clearly showing an affinity for having balls against her ass, so I like my chances.

Anyway, there are at least four reasons for Spain is going to vencer or ganar or something.

First, Fernando Torres. That guy is really fucking good at futbol. Sure, it takes a firm grasp of the obvious to make that observation, but without him and his 24 goals—the most ever for an EPL (suck it, Barclay's) debut season—Liverpool is probably staring at the European NIT next season. And much like in the EPL, the only person I can see outscoring him this summer is Christiano Louganis.

Second, no Raul. Sure he's got 40-something goals in 100-odd appearances for the national team, but what's the farthest he's ever been able to carry his país? The quarterfinals? Oh wait, that shouldn't be another question. "The quarterfinals" is the actual answer. In the 1998 Cup they didn't even make it out of their group (really, a 0-0 draw to Paraguay?). Please, give me Torres and David Villa up top—which, hey, that's totally what Spain can have—and I like my odds of not getting shut out by anybody. No, Spain is going score more than Cashely Cole at a Roman Shower party.

Third, here's how loaded their midfield is. Mikel Arteta, who has been a rock in Everton's midfield for the past two and a half seasons, can't even get a spot in the selección.

Finally, I am on a roll. Having predicted the last European and World Cup champions, I'm on a two-tournament winning streak. Okay, I didn't really predict Greece in '04 so much as pull a slip of paper with their name on it out of a hat then whine like a blender stuck on frapeé, but it put me in the money.

So bet against me at your own risk because Cesc Fabregas ain't the only one en fuego.



Here's the squad:

Forwards: Fernando Torres, David Villa, Sergio Garcia, Daniel Guiza

Midfielders: Cesc Fabregas, Andres Iniesta, Xabi Alonso, Xavi, David Silva, Santi Cazorla, Ruben de la Red, Marcos Senna

Defenders: Sergio Ramos, Carlos Marchena, Fernando Navarro, Alvaro Arbeloa, Juanito, Joan Capdevila, Raul Albiol, Carles Puyol

Goalkeepers: Iker Casillas, Pepe Reina, Andres Palop


Could England beat this team? I supposed anything is possi... No.

Breakout Player: Sergio Ramos. He goes box to box and, from the right back coming forward, he's a threat with the cross.

Biggest Question Mark: Well, they are still Spain. And if you go Casillas, Arbeloa, Xabi Alonso, Torres, that's pretty much Liverpool running right up the middle of this team. That either explains why Liverpool has been underachieving as of late (too much España in their DNA) or portends poorly for Spain since Liverfourth can't get out of, well, fourth. Although, Reina probably won't see the pitch in front of Casillas save maybe for the last game of the group stage when Spain is sitting on 6 points and a plus-6 GD.

Worst Player: No se.

Can this team win Euro 2008? Did you start reading two sentences in?

What is the squad's pre-made excuse for not winning Euro 2008? Well, it would have been Raul, but, as mentioned he's not on the squad. Their Spain-ness would then have to be the reason.

Read more on "Euro 2008 Team Profiles: Spain"...

TWAG: The Joy of Six (Instead of the Joy of Cesc)

Six. That's how many of us there were for the Arsenal v. Everton kickoff on Sunday morning.

It was an irritatingly early start time, but that's really how heartbreaking this season was? Only six people—plus two more who wandered in about halftime—could be bothered.

Hell, Everton even had something to play for. One point would secure them a UEFA Cup spot. There's also the Gunner's 50-something game home unbeaten streak at the Emirates.

And fuck, there are only two games left in the season, then there's no more Arsenal futbol for literally months. Christ, shouldn't we all be squirrels out there collecting the remaining nuts no matter how shitty they might be because there aren't going to be any more for a while?

If nothing else, it was a chance just to watch and enjoy football. There were no nerves because Arsenal weren't moving out of third place. It was a rare opportunity to watch without having an irrational emotional attachment to every cross, every clearance. Lehmann could let another soft shot roll between his legs, and it would simply be a humorous and apropos farewell.

Turns out, though, detached spectating really is not that fun, even less so when it is compounded by massive disappointment of what might have been. Okay, it's a little fun when you are beating the shit out of Derby in a 6-2 scorgasm, and making them pay for a your season of second-half failure; but a listless 1-0 win over Everton where Song and Traore are maybe the best players on the pitch isn't much reward for fandom.

This must be what it's like to be a Tottenham fan. Before the games even kick off it doesn't really matter if you win or lose because when all is said and done, you're going to end up someplace mid-table, give or take.

But the shit does matter (or rather "matter" in a very relative sense—I can maintain perspective). That's what makes it worth dragging our asses out of bed when sane people are still sleeping off their hangovers (note to any European readers: fuck, it's hard sometimes being a fan of this game seven time zones away). Yeah, I'm still pissed at the non-call and the call in the Liverpool Champions League matches. And I'm even more pissed off at the shoddy defense after Adebayor leveled, but what's the point if you're not going to have strong emotional reactions? Sometimes you can't bring yourself to watch, but you can't make yourself look away.

There's a reason they keep score. And a good one. Meaningless matches are hardly worth it. Sure it's football, but it's like having drunk sex with an ex that you don't give a shit about anymore. It's slightly better than going home and rubbing one out, but it's not even close to what it feels like when you are nuts about the other person.

Plus it was a pretty lackluster match on both sides.

The best moment wasn't even on the field of play. At one point the Setanta cameras showed Helb, Fabregas, Flamini, and Rosicky all sitting right next to each other behind the bench. A fucking world class midfield—at least two of which have probably played their last match as Gunners—and all of them spectators.

I'd put even money down the camera man was a United fan having sadistic laugh. And he'd be right to.

Arsenal won. Yippee. Had the Prem still been up for grabs, the Gunners would have found a way to squander the lead and draw, though. Maybe that's the silver lining, had they still been in it a Sunday draw might have sucked the life force right out of me. But it's more of a sterling than a Britannia silver. When the expectations were low—much preseason punditry had the team finishing outside the top 4—Arsenal played loose and they won early and often. They didn't even drop a match until December 9, to 'Boro of all teams.

It wasn't until they Gunners found themselves five points clear atop the table that they began to look like deer, or rather fawn, in the Prem headlights and reeled off consecutive draws against (God this hurts) likely relegation fodder Birmingham City, Villa, bottom-halfers Wigan, and 'Boro.

Seriously, we only took one of six points from fucking Middlesbrough this year? I hope Gareth Southgate still wakes up with cold sweats reliving his missed PK from the 1996 Euro.

Even with all those dropped points, with a win at Stamford Bridge and a win at Old Tratford it was there for the taking and it was theirs for the taking. Instead Drogba decided to show up for the second half and give the Gunners a big "fuck you" for a going away present and Owen Hargreaves hit a ridiculous free kick nobody was expecting him to even take.

Credit to them. They beat us when it mattered. But it's also clear this Arsenal team didn't know how to play under pressure. That and they had to play Senderos probably a little too much to make anyone feel good. Maybe even Philippe himself.

So that's it. Had you told me before the season started that Arsenal would finish third I would gladly have taken it. But with only Sunderland left on the fixtures, I'm anything but glad. I will probably sleep in next week no matter what time kick is.

After the other Sunday match, I wanted to make myself feel better by taking a shot at the people looking up at us. For completely arbitrary reasons a buddy of mine adopted Liverpool as his EPL team to follow this year. I applaud him for trying to get into futbol by having a team to follow, but I also chided him for his choice. When I cracked on his pick in an email by calling them Liverfouth (which I admitted stole from some blog), he responded, "And how much worse is that than Thirdsenal?"

Ouch. The truth does indeed hurt... but only until the 2008-2009 season starts.

Read more on "TWAG: The Joy of Six (Instead of the Joy of Cesc)"...