Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

[Ed.: Yes we know our blog was down this afternoon, no we have no idea why, but we suspect it was the North Koreans]

Wow. After ignoring the country for a while, France has come back with a new level of crazy in their shirts. First it was this rugby-looking pink one, and this week we see a four way tie for worst from FC Lorient. Good times!

FC Lorient unveiled their new range of shirts recently and man, are they awesome. The collection includes the ultra-rare fourth shirt, which is useful when Lorient find themselves up against competition that feature white, orange and black in an equally confusing form.

((*Gotta put First Things First*))

But before we get to that fourth shirt, let's look at the home, away and third shirts in order.

Anyone who has been paying attention to this recurring post for any time knows that I hate cookie-cutter kits, like how Nike recycled their old Mexico look for the new Man U shirt. But this is . . . different. First of all, it's not a standard design (at least I hope it isn't). At least the bottom part where the ocean's waves become seagulls shouldn't be. That check mark that separates the shoulder color from the beer belly seems to be a Duarig corporate emblem worked into the shirt design. Better than sublimation, but only just.

Speaking of the emblem (which really looks like it belongs on old Pony shoes), it shows up on the shirt's sleeves as well as well as covering the kidneys. A bit of overkill there. Think of it like a warning to German shirt makers not to attack on the sides, but instead to go up the back.

This is the lovely fourth shirt. Clearly inspired by your bathroom's old tile floors, this brown and aqua mix will make Lorient the envy of the French footballing world. Can't say much else, other than BLEH.

Another thing to note on these shirts is the amount of ads. Obviously, La Trinitaine Biscuits are the primary sponsor, but there are three other sponsors on here as well. The actual club crest is the small thing centered on the breast bone with the fish and soccer ball. My favorite sponsor is the one on the back. Using both the Euro symbol and a globe (featuring the Americas oddly), I can only guess that this is a call for the New World Order.

The one thing I can say I truly like about these shirts is the inclusion of the flag of Bretagne, or Brittany, the home region of Lorient. I wish that more teams would adopt this type of regionalism into their kits, though this is by no means the lone team that does so. The downside here is that the Brittany flag is so, well, boring. Black and white don't really pop together. Perhaps the team can petition the government of Brittany to change their coloration. I'm sure it has only been in use for a couple of centuries, so that should be no problem.


jjf3 said...

Fucking Kim-Jong-Il imposter number 17 (yeah, I'm on to you, NKR)....
I had today off, and didn't get back home until 5, and you guys have been dead until now. Bastards!

OH, and 2-0 USA!! OOH-SAH!!!!!!!

ü75 said...

I think yo are the first one to get through. Back on the old blogspot address for the time being. No fun.

jjf3 said...

Looks like you might be back (crosses fingers).

Wow, that's hideous. If I admit that I personally think you're "4th" shirt, the "bathroom tile" one, is your best one, does that mean you might be run by idiots?

Oops, that was meant to be rhetorical...

Teeknuts said...

Spencer and Heidi are intrigued by your theories of New World Order advertising.