Fantasy League or Bizarro World?

If you're like me (6'3" and answer to the name Sven), you probably check your fantasy points a few times over the weekend. Come half-time of any Liverpool match (can we talk about them absolutely STEALING three points? It made me giddy!), I immediately scour the internet to see who's scored and who's holding onto a clean sheet, tallying Clash City's possible points in my head. If I'm lucky, I might even be able to discern, through text commentary, who got an assist. Come the end of that match, I'm back at it again. And again. And again.

Some days are greeted with a cornucopia of unexpected goals; other days a disappointing dearth of them. Yet, this weekend I was treated to a surprise of a different flavor when I discovered that Fabregas had been left in my starting XI while Stephen Ireland (who chipped in for two assists) was on the bench. After taking somebody's name in vein, I realized that the now-bald hair-transplant recipient was at the front of my substitute's list.

So, after the Gameweek came to an end, the subs kicked in and I was treated to an extra 12 (including three bonus points... love the randomness of those) points, shooting me up the table.

Moral of the story? Substitutions are good. That, and I like talking about my team. Not that this will be a regular thing. (Yet, I make no promises)



Speaking of substitutes, how about Djibril Cisse scoring on his debut with Sunderland? At 7.0, he may just be worth a look if you're looking for a well-priced striker. Should Theo Walcott continue to underwhelm (and not even play a full 90), I may just take my own advice.

But Walcott really isn't Arsenal's biggest problem, is he? How about that gaping hole in the midfield? As Cesc Fabregas and his 10.0 value continue to weigh around some managers' necks like a Flava Flav clock, some of you might be tempted to shop elsewhere. How about Deco? Get him why he's still cheap, because with 25 points in two matches, he's shot up from 9.0 to 9.1 to 9.2.

Keeping with the under-achiever theme (we'll ignore the obvious Tottenham reference), have you noticed that Aston Villa have shipped five goals in just two games? Brad Friedel only has four points, where Newcastle's Shay Given has 2o? What kind of bizarro universe it this? Apparently the same in which Darren Fletcher has two goals in two games. Yes, for Manchester United.

Granted, as we've only got two matches under our belt, maybe you should just hang tight with your team and let the players settle. Not me, though. I like to tinker like Ranieri (and I don't want to hear any Rafa/rotation jokes).

Taking a look at the UFFL table, it appears we're just like MLS -- we can't stop expanding. We've added a 22nd team. Unfortunately, we're not receiving any franchise fees.

My viking hat is off to Thor as his XXXXXXX's Raiders (107 points) sit top after moving up from 2nd. Justified FC have claimed second as Maroon Devils (having jumped from 11th) are third with the same amount of points (104).

On the wrong side of the tracks... Change Name and Bigus' Boys sit in the mythical relegation zone while our Blogfather's own Nunca Caminaras Solo is butt-naked last (with a miserable 56 points).

I am also proud to point out that TheoFabregas now has a new captain, with Fernando Torres picking up the captain's armband after Ian pushed Steve Simonsen out of his squad.

What will happen next week?

Maybe Daniel Agger will get a game. Maybe Shaun Wright-Phillips will make the move back to City (for only £10M? Really?). Or maybe, just maybe, Cesc Fabregas get his shit/hamstring together and get his sorry ass back in action.