Catalan thieves do not wait for you to leave home.

Unlike their Liverpudlian counterparts, Catalan thieves do not wait for their local footballers to leave town to rob houses. Hell, you can even be in another room, and these guys will still take your stuff. Just ask Frank Rijkaard.


Rijkaard's home was burgled on Sunday night, with him and his family in it. Either these were the cattiest of catburglers, or the entire family was stoned out of its collective gourd. Perhaps his house is huge and the rooms were a football pitch apart, I don't know, but shouldn't it at least have a security system? Maybe a pack of dogs on the grounds?

What I do know is this--there is no way I scale a 6-meter wall without breaking something on the way down the other side. Of course, I get winded heading to the mailbox, so maybe I am not the best example. The thieves entered the master bedroom and got jewelry, watches, and a large amount of cash. Who knew that Rijkaard kept his savings under the mattress? Seems like an inside job to me.

What makes the article for me, though, is the appearance of an unnamed source. This source says, "that while the robbers were probably professionals, they would probably not have known how high profile the owner of the house was". Is it just me, or is that probably one too many "probably"s in that sentence? It seems that this unnamed source should probably be brought in for questioning. If and when they do, I am quite sure that the perp will be blonde, male, permed and bemulleted. His motive? Looking to make even past aggressions in Rijkaard's playing career.

It's the only possible answer to such an insolvable crime.