Liverpool Thievery Now Even Easier!

This is where Nando works.

We've previously discussed the rampant thievery that has occurred of footballers' homes, most notably those of Liverpool players. The vast majority of the time these burglaries have been when the player in question has been away for a match. But thanks to Google, they can now be burgled any time they leave their home unattended, even for a few short hours!



Alright, that's a bit of hyperbole. It's not quite real-time satellite imagery, but Google has launched its Street View application and one of the cities available in the UK is Liverpool. This is sure to help out those would-be stalkers and thieves in their quest to determine where Liverpool players are living.

Torres lives in Formby, Liverpool - is one of these houses his?

They can use the new app to explore the best possible routes for gaining access to players' homes (and quick getaway routes!), as well as determining if there is anything worth stealing on the grounds.

There are already advocacy groups decrying this new use of technology and looking to have the Google app shut down, but there is as of yet no word from the PFA.

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UF Quick Throw: Fletcher Shipped to Liverpool

This one is a bit tough because, well, apparently the incident was fairly horrific. Darren Fletcher was burglarized whilst he was away in Italy to play for United; and his fiancee and her mother were held at knifepoint during the incident. Not good.

No, he wasn't actually sold to Liverpool, it's just that the episode is Liverpool-esque. Even the soccernet article bothers to point out: "The raid follows a series of break-ins at the homes of Liverpool players in recent months while they have been away playing high-profile matches."

This is also the basis of the running inside UF joke of the day. We're awful people, yes. But nobody was hurt, so forgive us.

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Liverpool (supporters) Are Coming!

The enterprising young lads above, Scousers all, may have made the trip from Liverpool to Paris after running out of targets at home.


It seems that while former Blue and current PSG "star" Claude Makelele was off fighting the good fight against the dynamo that is FC Sochaux-Montbeliard, someone made off with his property. It appears that some jewelry was stolen from inside the house, but even more importantly the thieves absconded with his Porsche and his Mercedes!

Clearly the nasty habit of Liverpool supporters robbing footballers has spread to the continent. I mean, it had to be the English, right?

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Catalan thieves do not wait for you to leave home.

Unlike their Liverpudlian counterparts, Catalan thieves do not wait for their local footballers to leave town to rob houses. Hell, you can even be in another room, and these guys will still take your stuff. Just ask Frank Rijkaard.


Rijkaard's home was burgled on Sunday night, with him and his family in it. Either these were the cattiest of catburglers, or the entire family was stoned out of its collective gourd. Perhaps his house is huge and the rooms were a football pitch apart, I don't know, but shouldn't it at least have a security system? Maybe a pack of dogs on the grounds?

What I do know is this--there is no way I scale a 6-meter wall without breaking something on the way down the other side. Of course, I get winded heading to the mailbox, so maybe I am not the best example. The thieves entered the master bedroom and got jewelry, watches, and a large amount of cash. Who knew that Rijkaard kept his savings under the mattress? Seems like an inside job to me.

What makes the article for me, though, is the appearance of an unnamed source. This source says, "that while the robbers were probably professionals, they would probably not have known how high profile the owner of the house was". Is it just me, or is that probably one too many "probably"s in that sentence? It seems that this unnamed source should probably be brought in for questioning. If and when they do, I am quite sure that the perp will be blonde, male, permed and bemulleted. His motive? Looking to make even past aggressions in Rijkaard's playing career.

It's the only possible answer to such an insolvable crime.

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