Scottish football team celebrates big promotion.... with soda

Champagne: not allowed in East Stirlingshire

Over the weekend, Scottish Third Division team East Fife won yet again, a 3-0 victory at East Stirlingshire that moved them to an unassailable 24-point lead at the top of the table.

Congratulations, East Fife! You're the champions, you're getting promoted, and it's time to celebrate, right?

Wrong.

The police confiscated all their champagne.

Directors of the club were warned that alcohol in glass containers was illegal in football grounds, and that the police would have reason to arrest and confiscate the bubbly should it be brought out. Fucking killjoys.

The police warned them several times to keep their booze on ice, forcing them to wait until they made it back to the safety and comfort of their local pub to toast their successes.

Said Chief Inspector Audrey McLeod, from Central Scotland Police:

"During the subsequent celebrations the bottles were produced and champagne was sprayed over the fans who were gathered on the pitch.
Officers again spoke to club officials, explaining the legislation again and highlighting the potential for glass bottles to present a health and safety issue, particularly with a number of families with children in the vicinity.
Following a brief discussion, the bottles were again removed."

Police 1, Common Sense 0.

I wish I had more of a joke here, but the story's hilarious enough. I'm just glad that the fine police of Central Scotland are doing their job and taking care of the real crimes in their jurisdiction. The thugs of East Fife FC must be stopped!