UF Quick Throw: Laursen Forced to Retire

This is a total bummer, but the Villa captain Martin Laursen's knee injury is forcing him into retirement at 31. If you recall, Villa's season started to go sideways (or downward rather) not long after Laursen suffered the injury. At least he'll get to stud for the rest of his life.

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Martin O'Neill: A Man for All Seasons

Granted that Arsenal's inevitable fifth place finish has more to do with their own ineptitude than anything else.... But, by all rights, I really should hate Martin O'Neill.

It's just that O'Neill makes it so damned hard to dislike him. The man just exudes everything you want in a manager, especially intelligence and class. And apparently O'Neill makes it very difficult for the Villa supporters to hate him as well.

Last week several hundred supporters paid up to £1500 to travel to Moscow for what turned out to be a drab UEFA Cup match featuring Aston Villa's reserves. The supporters were rightfully angry at the pathetic display, and for splashing out so much cash to watch it. So what does Martin O'Neill do?

According to the Birmingham Mail, O'Neill came to the back of the charter flight on the way back to England:

“He came to speak to us at the back of the plane, which I think was very good of him. He told us that he understood our disappointment and I think that went a long way to making amends.

“He also said that he was going to arrange for a meal at Villa Park for all of the fans that travelled to Moscow.

“He said he had to clear it with Randy Lerner and it would probably be at the end of the season at the Holte Suite, but I think it was a nice gesture. He got a round of applause.

“If we do finish in the top three I think all of this will be forgotten by most of the fans.”

Like I said, how can you hate this man? Randy Lerner has signed off on the dinner too. So, when Aston Villa are playing in the Champions League next season, at least you can say they deserve it.

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LFC v. Aston Villa

Aye, it's been a while, hasn't it?

Well, after the dismal Chelsea/Spurs match this morning (thank you Spurs for ruining the dreams of bettors nationwide), we find ourselves in the grudge match today. Villa vs. Liverpool. Barry vs. Alonso. O'Neill vs. Benitez. It's gonna be explosive (well, maybe... we thought that about this morning, didn't we?)

So, bit of a liveblog after the jump. I just woke up and I drank my body weight in wine last night, so it might take a while to get going.

Editorial view (from me): COME ON YOU REDS Well, grey today, but that doesn't matter



Aston Villa
-----
01 Friedel
-
02 Luke Young
05 Laursen
15 Davies
21 Shorey
-
20 Reo-Coker
19 Petrov
06 Barry
07 Ashley Young
-
10 Carew
11 Agbonlahor

Liverpool
-----
25 Reina (turned 26 today... I'm older than him... scary)
-
17 Arbeloa
23 Carragher
37 Skrtel
02 Dossena
-
18 Kuyt
14 Alonso
20 Mascherano
21 Lucas
-
07 Keane
Liverpool's Number Nine


6 mins: Cagey start by both sides. The noise is deafening, or is it like that Indianapolis Colts noise? Can't tell yet. Good midfield play by Villa, early corner that came to nothing. Arbeloa on Ashley Young is a potentially frightening match-up.

8 mins: Mascherano reminds us why we've missed him with a clumsy foul on Petrov. Ball swings across to the far post and no-one reaches it, although Curtis Davies was all alone back there.

10 mins: Both sides still trying to assert authority. It's easier going for Villa at the moment, but they're also looking to play the same long ball rubbish that LFC lapse into most of the time. Good turn and burst of pace by Torres, who slips through two defenders and goes wide down the left. His cross is blocked by Reo-Coker for an LFC corner. Alonso takes, it finds the middle of the box but Laursen knocks it clear.

14 mins: Villa break down the middle with Agbonlahor, but the link-up to Carew goes awry and LFC get it away.

15 mins: Keane is definitely drifting wide in the early going, and LFC's passing is rather sloppy. Thought: could it be the fucking kits? They're grey... not difficult to mess that up in the peripheral vision, is it?

Better possession for Liverpool, although the final ball in from the right is easily dealt with. Reo-Coker brings it up, and Villa set up for another attack.

17 mins: Good move from Villa. Long pass to Carew, and he feeds Gabby at the edge of the box. Reina comes out to snuff out the danger. Forgot to mention Skrtel's yellow in the 13th minute for a very clumsy challenge on the half-way line... it's always good to have a central defender playing on a yellow for 75 minutes when you're playing away from home in a difficult fixture against a good side with lots of pace. Yeah, definitely smart from the Slovakian.

Who's the top and who's the bottom?

20 mins: The commentators harp on Keane's misuse thus far, as he's playing out to the left and should be right up with Torres. I can't argue with that. Lucas gets LFC's first shot on goal; shame it was a volley from the edge of the box that ended up in Row ZZ.

22 mins: LFC try breaking down the left, but the pass on was too long and Barry does well to cut it off, keep it in play, and knock it back downfield. At this point, I'd give my right arm for some controlled Liverpool possession.

25 mins: Finally, some good possession (I'll send my arm to Anfield tomorrow), although they never threaten the Villa area and it's hoofed clear. It was nice to see them passing it from right to left though. Reminds me of the glory days... *tear*

26 mins: Oh shit. Torres pulls up a bit sharply chasing a stray pass forward, and Torres comes off. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Rafa now has to change thing significantly, something I'm not entirely sure he's capable of. So who's coming on? El-Zhar, Benayoun, N'gog? PLEASE NOT YOSSI. Last thing we need is another winger who can't play wing.

27 mins: Thank the lord, it's N'gog. Looked lethal in preseason, and he could use some time up-front. Pace! It's what Villa have! This might not be so bad!

28 mins: No, it's not. It's Ryan Babel! Different kind of pace! Still good!

30 mins: LFC playing without a striker as the sub still hasn't come on. Barry plays a good pass into Carew, who leans on Carragher so much that he falls over. Poor Jamie. :( Ref gives a free-kick to the defender, although the amount of shirt-tugging going on could have swung it the other way.

Luke Young crunches Dossena out of play on the left as LFC start attacking. It IS Ngog who comes on, and he slots right up-top. Benitez needs to stop being a wuss and let Keane be a striker.

32 mins: Meanwhile, Man City are up 3-0 at the Stadium of Light thanks to 2 second-half goals from Chelsea cast-off SWP. Roy Keane is about to explode.

33 mins: Reo-Coker enjoys a long run from box-to-box down the right-hand side, taking Dossena and Mascherano on a nice Sunday sprint. Eventually Masch gets back to scythe him down, but the run brings the Villa crowd to their feet. Corner for Villa, although easily cleared.

I'm taking a break to eat a delicious omelette.

40 mins: I almost spill my omelette as a Dossena cross is whipped in from the left, half-cleared by Shorey only to fall to Kuyt on the edge of the box, whose shot bursts the side-netting. Not a bad chance, although Friedel was over to cover the near post. LFC are finally finding some useful possession.

43 mins: AHHHHH close. Good play from LFC, which surprises the shit out of me. Alonso to Keane on the right, and Keane's neat flick-on gives N'gog a chance at the top of the box, one-on-one with Laursen, and his swerving left-footed shot just whizzes over the bar. Excellent chance. Perhaps Keane will finally get to play up-front, as things like this immediately happen when he does.

45 mins: Goddamn it. A flowing move forward by Villa is snuffed out, and then on the counter, Mascherano's pass to Kuyt on the right is too far ahead of him and the attack breaks down.

They really need to ditch these fucking kits. There's no way that they're picking each other out with accuracy in grey kits. You can't see that colour well in your peripheral vision. No freaking way.

Skrtel with a clumsy foul (watch it, moron, you're already on a yellow), and the free-kick from Young is whipped in dangerously from the left. Reina does well to come out and collect.

HALF-TIME Back to the cooling remnants of my omelettes. 0-0.

The absence of Torres and Gerrard, easily our biggest threats, should push the rest of 'em to succeed. Keane and N'gog have a chance to stamp themselves in the LFC XI, and their link-up right before half-time was gorgeous. It's weird, as I think that no FT and SG should liberate the side a bit. It's all about what Benitez decides to do tactically, where he's rather inept.

Meanwhile, in the home dressing room, MON must be fairly happy. They've played well, and they do look threatening. Just one real chance to speak of though.

47 mins: Keane is playing up-front. FINALLY. LFC win an early corner, swung in by Alonso. Kuyt's header back across goal is blocked and cleared, although Friedel didn't look too comfortable dealing with the delivery.

LFC opening up the game a bit more now, passing it around nicely. Dossena whips a sharp, low cross in from the left that N'gog just missed getting a flick on. All LFC very early on in the second half.

50 mins: Villa corner whipped in from the right, and Carew's header flashes over the bar.

51 mins: LFC are getting chances now! The game is opening up. Keane gets it at the top of the box after some nice build-up play, he turns and feeds Alonso whose low shot is deflected out for a corner. Alonso's corner is cleared to Dossena on the left, and his cross floats right across the edge of the 6-yard box. N'gog is waiting for it, and Friedel has to tip it over the bar under pressure.

LFC are starting to get more control on the wings and are actually putting crosses in, something they couldn't figure out against Liege, 'Boro or Sunderland. Simple game, really.

57 mins: Villa are getting more chances too, and the game is finally opening up. Another Villa corner, Reina comes to get this one and punches it clear.

60 mins: Milner is warming up as MON is looking for a bit more pace. I think Reo-Coker's endless sprints down the right have worn him down.

Kuyt with an ugly challenge, befitting of his facial features, and the free-kick finds Davies at the back post but he can't control his header under pressure from the visually-unappealing Dutchman.

Villa are bossing the tempo now, with plenty of possession around the LFC box. Any subs forthcoming from either side? Lucas looks rather useless on the left-wing, but then again, he's not a winger. Rafa keeps forgetting that we don't have any.

Milner is ready to come on, and for Luke Young? MON showing some moxie here... 3-5-2? No clue.

65 mins: Of course not! Reo-C moves to left-back. Both sides are neutralizing each other, more or less. LFC win another corner thanks to Masch's move down the right. Alonso readies to take it...

... and nothing. Cleared easily. Dossena gets a little mouthy on the ref after the throw-in is given to Villa, and throwing the ball away doesn't help his cause. Yellow Card for Dossena, although he's looked a lot more assured at left-back than he has so far for LFC this season. David Pleat notes that it's part of the new Respect initiative, and that's why he got booked. Thanks John Terry... through your constant, unwavering whinging, we have a new set of conduct codes to abide by.

67 mins: Subs galore warming up for Benitez. Aurelio gets a talking-to from Rafa, which shows that I must be wrong about Dossena. As soon as I give him some dap, Benitez readies to replace him. Babel is also warming up, and there was a Yossi sighting. I'm thinking aside from the obvious left-back swap, surely Babel for Lucas would be the last LFC sub today. If Yossi comes on, I might scream.



70 mins: Well, that's a surprise. Kuyt off, Aurelio on. Immediately Villa attack, and shouts for a handball on Skrtel at the edge of the box are waved off. The ball breaks to Petrov some 30 yards out, and his well-struck shot flashes just wide of the right-hand post. No real danger on Reina's goal. I'm still figuring out where Aurelio and Dossena are playing. Is Dossena playing left-wing now, with Lucas moving to the right? Halp plz.

73 mins: Ah crap, best chance of the game for either side. Villa get caught square and Keane beats the offside trap. Clean through on goal, the ball bounces too high for him to control effectively, and Reo-Coker gets back to bundle him down and stop Robbie from shooting on goal. Shouts for a penalty, or at least a foul, are well-founded; initially, it looked like Nigel made a good recovery to end the play, although as Pleat points out, it looks more ominous with every replay. Reo-Coker got absolutely none of the ball as he stuck his leg right across Keane's path. Should have been something there. Lucky lucky.

77 mins: Dossena's looking better as an attacking full-back now. He can put in a good cross, which is more than can be said for Lucas, Pennant, Benayoun, Kuyt, and, most of the time, Babel (that Liege game withstanding). Corner for LFC amounts to nowt. You can sense that both sides are winding down a bit, happy to get a point from a tough fixture. LFC have been pressing a lot in the last 5 minutes.

I'm hearing that Benayoun will come on for Keane? You've got to be fucking kidding me.

79 mins:: As LFC push forward more, Villa are resorting to the long balls down the flanks to try and get something from Young's pace. Dangerous move is snuffed out, and Mascherano breaks forward. The ball comes to N'gog and his shot is blocked wide.

Substitutes time! Gardner on for Nicky Shorey, and my worst fears confirmed: Yossi on for Robbie Keane. Fucking awful move. Guess we can cross out the notion that we're going to attack at all in the last 10 minutes.

81 mins: It would be cruel for either side to lose at this point, although of course I hope we can steal yet another one. LFC's attack breaks down as N'gog can't find anyone on the cutback, and Villa's counter amounts to nothing as well.

I think Yossi is playing up front? He's pressuring the play. Dossena's doing well with the crossing thing. LFC look more threatening, although Milner has a good, sharp shot from the edge of the box that Reina covers comfortably.

85 mins: A rare moment of trickery from Ashley Young (at least in this game) wins a Villa free-kick around half-way on the right. It loops high and deep into the box and Laursen has a free header on it. It goes agonizingly wide of the post, and MON agonizes. Good chance for AV. The game is wide-open now as LFC definitely press more than I'd expect them to away from home at Aston Villa in the last 5 mins.

88 mins: I am now in classic "shitting myself" mode as the game draws closer to the end. Both sides are unafraid to move forward, and I'm nervous as hell that we're going to concede. Milner's blocked cross from the left goes right across the edge of the box, scaring the life out of me. LFC clear, but then Aurelio harangues Young's run, giving Villa a free-kick on the edge of the box. Barry take it and it does find a Villa head, but Carragher clears comfortably from the line. More scrambling from LFC as Villa force late with a long throw, but they eventually clear.

90 mins: Young crosses from the left this time on a Villa counter, but it's headed clear. N'gog gets a break but his pass forward goes to no-one but Friedel. Bad move and Villa press AGAIN. My heart is racing... Villa press but Dossena clears and Reo-Coker ends up sweeping it all the way back to Friedel, much to the chagrin of the Villa home crowd. His long pass forward leads to a foul on Skrtel, and Reina takes the breather to pass it around and clear the lines.

We collectively exhale as there's scarcely 30 seconds left of added time. COME ON YOU REDS, please don't concede now.

90 mins + 2: Villa break down the right with Agbonlahor racing to collect the pass-on, but Mascherano slides to knock it out of play, and the ref blows for full-time as soon as the ball is thrown in.

FULL TIME: Aston Villa 0, Liverpool 0.

I'll happily take that considering no Gerrard and no Torres for an hour, and being away from home at a tough Villa side. Carew's first-half shot was the best chance of the match, when Reina had to kick it away with his trailing leg, but a point's a point. I can finally breathe again!

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EPL Previews: Heroes & Villans

Martin O'Neill has set a strict deadline for reading this preview and doesn't want to hear any whining if you can't meet it.

In: CB Curtis Davies (West Brom - undisclosed), MF Steve Sidwell (Chelsea - £5M), GK Brad Friedel (Blackburn - £2M), GK Brad Guzan (Chivas USA - undisclosed), FB Nicky Shorey (Reading - undisclosed), FB Luke Young (Middlesbrough - undisclosed), CB Carlos Cuellar (Rangers - £7.8M).

Out: CB Olof Mellberg (Juventus - free), GK Thomas Sorensen (released), MF Patrik Berger (Sparta Prague - free), ST Luke Moore (West Brom - £3M).

Last Season: 6th in the Premier League (60 points)(71 goals for, 51 goals conceded, 9 clean sheets)

Overview: Last season, in my own personal previews, I picked Aston Villa to finish 8th. I also said that "6th or 7th was a possibility". More than possible it turned out, as Martin O'Neill guided the Birmingham club into Europe in his second season at the helm. The club earned 11 more points than the previous term and added 21 more goals to the equation (granted, they also let in 10 more goals). The Big Question now becomes, can Villa build on that 6th place finish or is that the ceiling for the claret & sky blue crowd?

The problem with such Big Questions is that they often prompt other smaller questions. Has Villa added enough quality? Will all the backline signings gel? And let us not forget the neverending questions over Gareth Barry's future.

At the beginning of last season, the issue was squad depth. Midway through the summer, it looked as if that could become an issue again. But, O'Neill hasn't spent his whole summer bickering with Liverpool over the transfer of his captain -- he's actually made some signings.

After choosing not to bring Scott Carson on permanently, the Villans desperately needed a quality 'keeper. The Northern Irish manager got two; the ever excellent Brad Friedel and the possibly excellent (one day) Brad Guzan. While Friedel isn't quite old enough to remember when the ball had laces on it, he is getting on in years. Yet, his form continues to be excellent.

Villa also brought in some reinforcements directly ahead of its net-minder, namely replacing the solid centerback Olof Mellberg (who left on a Bosman for experienced match-fixers Juve) with Curtis Davies (who was a target last summer) and the SPL-tested (ha-ha) Carlos Cuellar. Davies is young/promising (sort of) and Cuellar has shown his quality with Rangers (not to mention, European experience). O'Neill will miss the injured Wilfred Bouma for a spell, but has Luke Young and Nickey Shorey to shore up the full-back positions.

Also added to the mix is Steve Sidwell. After moving from Reading to rot on the Chelsea bench for two years, the midfielder is fresh out of suspended animation and ready to return to action. But, will his game suffer from hibernation sickness? Initially, I included him in my fantasy team (Go Clash City!), but have since had second thoughts and replaced him. Martin O'Neill, however, does not have this same luxury. It'll be interesting to see how he performs.

Speaking of luxuries, Villa does have some when going forward. John Carew, when not injured, can be a force to be reckoned with (13 league goals last term). Gabby Agbonlahor was no disappointment either, having chipped in with 11. Yet, surely the bright spot for Villa has to be Ashley Young. Included in the Premier League Team of the Year, the young winger has pace to burn and will most certainly improve upon his 8 league goals this campaign and beyond.

So, as it stands Villa haven't really gotten any worse. But, have they gotten better?

A lot of that will be answered by their captain, Gareth Barry. You don't need me to rehash the summer-long saga that's been his on-and-off again move to Liverpool. As it stands now, the England international is likely to stay with the Villans. I'd bet against a January move (since he'll be cup-tied) and there aren't many clubs willing to shell out £18 million.

But, there IS a reason for all this nonsense. There is a reason Martin O'Neill is fighting to keep him at the club. Barry was (and historically has) been inspirational and the driving force for Villa for years. His grit, determination and ability to play three positions (and play them well) -- left back, left midfield or center midfield -- makes him invaluable.

Aston Villa without Gareth Barry is not a Aston Villa that qualifies for Europe. At least not immediately. Having to replace him would be a pain the manager would much rather not worry about right now.

Sven's Prediction: I've said it before, but since I have no problem repeating myself, I'll say it again: I have the utmost respect for Martin O'Neill. Before Liverpool fired Houllier, I thought O'Neill would be the perfect replacement, but because of constant press speculation in the months prior to the vacancy, the Northern Irish man decided he was having no part in forcing a fellow manager out the door. Although England did well with Capello (well, we'll see), I also fancied him for that job. And since he's been at Villa, I've been rooting for his success. He hasn't disappointed.

Yet, I don't think the club is much, if any, better than they were last season. Nor are they any worse. Europe should be more than achievable, as there aren't many clubs outside the Top Four much better than Villa. Retaining 6th place is attainable, but I'll slot them behind Spurs and City and predict 7th. Here's hoping I'm wrong.

And, let it be said, as a Liverpool fan, I actually understand (and kind of side with) O'Neill's stance on the Barry saga. To say Rafa has been less-than-ideal in the way he's dealt with it this summer might be an understatement. Nonetheless, I hope Liverpool twat them in both matches, just to send a message.

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The End Is Near...Isn't It?

Rafa the rat? Something smells funny!

If I stay there will be trouble... if I go it will be double. Well, ok... no it won't, it would be rather nice. Champions league football, more money and a guaranteed 4th place finish in the Prem.

The Gareth Barry saga rolls on. It appears as if Martin O'Neill's latest bluff may have worked. O'Neill has stated that Liverpool had a deadline issued to them to meet Villa's valuation of Barry and it passed. This means that the want-away midfielder stays a Villa player and is no longer for sale. Clever old Martin. Barry is pacing, Rafa is cursing (or is he?).

"Absolutely delighted" and "relieved there is resolution and closure to the transfer saga. Now we can all look forward to the season ahead with relief, anticipation and ambition."

-Martin O'Neill on Barry 'staying'!

O'Neill: no nonsense!

O'Neill has talks set to take place with Barry today and the outcome could be that this little saga is over. Villa will surely point out that Liverpool have just spent 20 million pounds on Robbie Keane but have been playing silly buggers over Barry's value all summer. "Dey can't want yer that bad now can dey Gareth?"(Bad Irish accent)

Rafa has spent weeks bemoaning his need to off-load players before he can meet O'Neill's lofty price tag. His window to sign Barry just stopped an inch from the sill and if he is not quick, you can either expect a new contract at Villa for Barry making him their top earner by a lot of weekly wedge, OR maybe even a move elsewhere. Arsenal have been lurking but they too seem reluctant to spend 18 million on Barry [Ed. Note: they could also be hesitant because he's not a French teenager. Sorry, it had to be done.]

If he stays, you can expect a statement declaring dedication and devotion to the Villain cause. Barry will lament his mistake of wanting to leave and will desperately try to get the booing Villa fans back on his side. He will also probably get a hefty pay rise!

O'Neill's bluff is a no win for Benitez as he knows the feisty Villa boss means it... he also knows that if he does really want Barry and decides to stick his fingers on the window ledge, then Liverpool will be subject to sale-of-the-century bids for many of their players as their need to recoup the Barry fee grows desperate. Alonso will be the first bargain for sure.

But consider this... did they really think that Villa would fold? Even as they splashed 20 million on Keane? Seems odd that Barry was their focus for much of the summer only to be left dangling as Rafa emptied his red piggy bank on Daniel Levy's table. Perhaps it's all just a game. Could it be the mother of all smokescreens. Is another midfielder on his way? One that no one expected but many would like if they knew that he was available?

It wouldn't be the first time. Usually managers never announce the targets they really want to get their hands on. How many of you thought Keane was going to Liverpool? That one was right out of the blue and was a done deal in 3 days. Bigus smells a rat here!

Why would Rafa decide to air his laundry for all to see? Sure he has unsettled the player, but he could have done that via his agent... and you know he did! By negotiating the transfer in the open you just alert all of Alonso's suitors to your situation. No wonder he has not been flogged yet. Other clubs are playing the same game Rafa is!

Maybe he really thought that Villa would grant Barry his cut price move, that simple... "You've been a good servant to the club so you have lad... off yer go... 13 million? That's alright..we never spend more tan foive on a player anyways!"(Bad accent again)

The biggest loser?

The only loser here is Barry, as he's the one left to pick up the pieces. But don't feel too bad, he earns enough! One thing is for sure, O'Neill means business and will not risk his plans for the new season. Expect an end to this nonsense very soon!

- Bigus.

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Transfer Rumours: Liverpool

Alright, rabble rousers, settle down. Considering that almost every comments section descends into a cacophony of Aston Villa v. LFC mud-slinging, I expect this to be no different.

It's my beloved Liverpool's turn, and this transfer season is already rather insane.

First, we have the Gareth Barry saga. What a soap opera this is turning out to be. Both sides playing the PR game and sticking to some seemingly useless guns as his price tag rises incrementally with every passing day.

I've seen Brett Ratner storylines that are somehow more fulfilling than this.

My attempt at a simplified timeline:

- LFC offer 10m or so. Villa say no.

- Villa say LFC offered only 4m plus a "mish-mash" of players. Scott Carson weeps at the thinly-veiled insult, for his family knows his gloves are no mish-mash, no sir.

- LFC offer 12m. O'Neill tells 'em to fuck off.

- LFC offer 13m. O'Neill doesn't answer his phone and keeps playing My Little Pony instead.

- LFC offer 15m. O'Neill rolls his eyes and goes back to eating stem cells on dry wheat toast.

- LFC offer some cash plus Crouch, Finnan, and someone else to make the total cash value somewhere close to 15 or 16m. O'Neill yawns, gives the finger, then settles back down on his couch made of human bones to watch Dream Team re-runs.

- O'Neill remarks loudly that it's 18m or sod-all for Gareth Barry. Rafa cries, moans, begs, wonders whether the club can stump up the cash. Meanwhile, he plots how to offload Crouch and Xabi for enough dough to seal the deal.

Somewhere near Birmingham, O'Neill laughs maniacally in his underground bunker, and Randy Lerner seeks young boys online with whom to commit sexual atrocities.

(Did I do alright with this timeline? I think I managed to successfully avoid personal bias)

In successful transfer news, we have signed Philipp Degen on a free, a Swiss left/right-back who played exactly 0 minutes in Euro '08, and the impressive-looking Andrea Dossena, a left-back from Udinese who has been playing well in Serie A and will prove to be very, very useful in that backline. And don't forget 17-year-old Danish striker Nikola Saric!

Outside of that, we've finally shipped off Harry Kewell to Turkey, a move that's upset a number of people considering he's now playing for the team whose fans were involved in a stabbing that killed 2 Leeds United fans when he still played for the Yorkshire club. Oops. Forgot about that one, didn't you, Harry?

John Arne Riise is off to sunny AS Roma for 4 million, and the Xabi-to-Juve talks are quickly becoming as protracted as the Barry will-he, won't-he debacle. So the thought goes, we need to sell Xabi and Crouch in order to finance a move for Barry and/or others, so let's see what happens. Oh, and Anthony Le Tallec's finally off the books for good, to Le Mans for 1.1 million.

There have been rumours about Bentley, Downing, Espanyol winger Albert Riera, David Villa, David Silva, and a whole slew of others. So I pose to you: what's the deal? What's going to happen, and which rumours are absolute pants? Who will be in Liverpool red next season, and who'll be stuck somewhere else wishing they were?

Have at it in the comments.

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