Tuesday, May 20, 2008

No Toast For Me

As we all know or maybe not, Wayne Rooney is betrothing Coleen McLoughlin this summer. Wayne will tie one on for his bachelor party in Vegas on May 26, while Coleen attends to the last minute wedding details. Things like seating arrangements, centerpieces and the sort. Luckily for her, the champagne has already been selected.


While the guests will be treated to anal fresco champagne reception and barbecue, bride-to-be Coleen has decided to follow her own diet.
What? I have no clue what that is, but me no want. Frankly, it could just be a translation issue since the story is from the Thaindian News.

But, the story has several other delightful nuggets--not the kind you would expect to find in an anal fresco champagne--but nuggets nonetheless.
  • Coleen doesn't want the wedding to be to chavvy.

  • To lessen the chavviness, Coleen is toning down the fake tan to appear less orange.

  • All female guests are asked to wear black so Coleen will stand out.

I wish Coleen the best for her nuptials, but I think this story shows she is fighting a losing battle against chavviness.


8 comments:

The NY Kid said...

anal fresco champagne? THAT'S NOT KORBEL!

The Fan's Attic said...

it's probably a new Cristal line. you know rich people...they'll drink expensive stuff even if it tastes like piss.

if you called PBR a microbrew and said it cost 12 dollars a can, it would sell out in Manhattan.

what's that? those hipster fuckers already drink PBR to slum it a bit?

fuck them. fuck them right in the anal fresco.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Ohhh I see what they've done there.

Lingering Bursitis said...

Never send a colon to do a space bar's job

The NY Kid said...

you know rich people

I do? Why didn't anyone tell me? I seriously need a loan.

Keith said...

Anal Fresco Champagne. . the newest offering from Donaghy Estates

hockalees said...

"Anal Fresco Champagne"

So is Cold Duck re-branding?!?

hockalees said...

Heh, heh....

Realizing that many of you younger folk might not be too familiar with "Cold Duck", I went looking for a link to explain the sparkling cheap bubbly to you... from the wikipedia entry I found the following:

The wine he produced was given the name Kaltes Ende ("cold end" in German), until it was humorously altered to the similar sounding term Kalte Ente meaning "cold duck"