Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Just shut up Arsene

While we Arsenal fans have spent the past two months suffering through horrific ankle injuries, bullshit penalties, hideous finishing, and the general collapse of our season, our manager appears to have been smoking some excellent weed. At least I hope that's what he has been up to, otherwise he is just delusional and/or possibly senile. Arsene sounds delighted about yesterday's soulcrushing defeat to the Mancs, after the jump.

Wenger, abetted by the sychophant London press, has been spinning the string of chokes against quality sides as a moral victory of sorts. This AP article is a good example.

If any failure to meet objectives can be seen as a glorious failure, this was it.

Wenger, though conceding the title chase was over, remained defiant after Sunday's 2-1 defeat at Manchester United.

"We will continue to play the way we do but better," Wenger told reporters. "The main target is to keep the team together. They are absolutely amazing.
"I feel the difference between success and failure is very little."

No-one would dispute his words. Their football at times has been sublime.

Great, awesome. I really enjoyed seeing Adebayor, in the words of Hirshey, finish like a U-11 girl yesterday. Ever since LB coined him Samson in mid February, after he axed the corn rows, his play has gone to shit. I also really enjoyed when we passed the ball around twenty times inside the 18 and failed to even get a shot off.

How about some more torture, from the official site:

"I am not an idealist," he said. "I want to win trophies and I am very sad that we cannot win a trophy this season now.

"But on the other hand I feel we have done a lot for this League. We want to play the way we play but we want to do it better.

"There was a very, very thin margin between winning and losing this season but that is sport. The winner is praised beyond reason and the team who do not win is slaughtered beyond reason. That is true more in football. We feel there is not a big difference and we want to keep doing what we do.

"We play quality football because we believe it is best way to win trophies. Yes we lacked maturity in some games. Today we were calm at the back but in some games we lacked maturity. However I am confident that if we gain that then we will win again."

You know what I'm confident about? That if Arsene doesn't spend some fucking money this summer, I might be tempted to question my bandwagoning, pretentious EPL loyalties. Don't do it Arsene, don't make me support a bunch of car thieves up north! Or maybe I will just pretend I can speak German and root for Bayern Munich. Hey, at least then I see Ribery on a weekly basis. And at least Luca Toni can put the ball into the back of the net. I can also get my quota of psycho German keepers.

Seriously, though, ditch Gallas, and buy another good central defender (preferably from some sort of mildly authoritarian Balkan country). Use Toure where he belongs, in the center of defense, with Song as cover. Buy Phillipp Lahm from Bayern to play right back. Buy another winger, but commit to playing Theo much more often. Consider getting a goal poacher along the lines of Pippo Inzaghi. Recall Carlos Vela from Osasuna. If you have to sell someone to fund it all, may I suggest Rosicky, Eboue, or Senderos?

1 comment:

Precious Roy said...

God if we had a savant poacher like Luca Toni, we'd be hoisting the Prem trophy in a couplathree weeks.

Guy is a douche (I'm Italian and I say that) but I'd be totally cool with the "Hey I can hear the oceans when I shake this shell next to my ear" celebration if it was being done on behalf of another Gunner goal.