Andy Keogh gives Swansea's Gary Monk a hug. Ahhh.
Lots of exciting Coca Cola Championship action to report on from today, not all of it to my liking!
Lets start at Swansea where Wolves were trying to get back to winning ways after defeat during the week. Swansea's Jason Scotland had other ideas. His double secured a 3-1 win for the Welsh team and Scotland also saw a shot cleared from the line and one come back off the crossbar. Jordi Gomez set Swansea on their way after just 25 secs when he caught Wolves snoozing at the back to nip in and score. Andy Keogh replied on 16 mins before this tie became the Scotland show. Wolves have now relinquished their lead at the top of the table to Bongo FC who beat Q.P.R at St Andrews. A Kevin Phillips goal before the break was enough to win that one and see Bongo top the table with 23 points from their 10 games.
From the top to the bottom. In the weekend's basement battle, Barnsley stuffed Doncaster Rovers to lift themselves closer to safety. Donny Rovers took the lead through a Brian Stock penalty. Simon Davey must have put a rocket up Barnsley's arse at half time as they scored 4 times in the second period to leapfrog Donny at the bottom. Oh yeah, and they had ten men.
Lets stay at the bottom. Forest are rooted. Another defeat today at home to Palace. Goals at the start and end of this game did the damage. Ifill at the top after four minutes and ex-scummer Shefki Kuqi secured the points on 84 mins. That's SIX defeats and a draw for Forest in the last seven games and two wins in a week for Neil Warnock's men.
Plymouth Argyle just cannot stop winning. Since my lot done em at Home Park a few weeks back they have won four and drawn one. Today they hammered Sheffield Wednesday 4-1 to jump into the play-off spots.
Reading continued their impressive run, beating Burnley 3-1 at the Madejski stadium. That's 20 goals in the last six games for Steve Coppells goal machines. They have nearly caught the top two and sit third tonight with 20 points from their opening ten games.
Elsewhere Coventry battered Southampton 4-1 with two goals from Jay Tabb, and one a piece from their Leon's, Best and McKenzie (boooooooo).
Charlton beat Ip..Ip..Ip..them 2-1 at the valley in a game that featured TWO own goals. Cranie and Voltz finding the wrong net. Maybe a swap deal can be arranged?
Charlton 2 Scummers 1. Own goal extravaganza!
Blackpool and Cardiff shared the points in this weeks only draw and both goals came in the last seven minutes of this one, actually a little more. Alan Gow saved the tangerines blushes five minutes into injury time.
Watford beat Preston 2-1 and James Beattie got back to scoring ways at Bramall lane as Sheffield United beat Bristol City 3-0 to climb to fourth. Lots of goals in the Championship today and that leaves just one game to discuss. A result that ruined my day. In fact there is just one word suitable to describe how I feel after Norwich lost 2-1 at home to the ten men of Derby County today..and that word is GUTTED.
I just cannot work out Glenn Roeder. There is a chance that he is turning into Juande Ramos. We have no fit central defenders, except for on loan Tottenham youngster Troy Archibald-Henville. So the lad gets a game right? Wrong. The tall Spurs reserve captain wasn't even included in the squad as Glenn Roeder decided to play second choice left back Adam Drury alongside right back Elliot Omozusi. Then it should come as no surprise to tell you that Derby took the lead through a Rob Hulse header from a corner. Debutant forward Leroy Lita won a penalty after Derby keeper Roy Carroll was dismissed for bringing down the on-loan hit-man AND newest misfiring striker to wear yellow this season. Sammy Clingan scored from the spot and you would think that we should have gone on against ten men to bury this one right? Nope instead of claiming victory with a winner against a team desperate to leave town clinging to a point, a miscommunication between keeper David Marshall and his temporary center back Drury ended up with Nathan Ellington pushing the ball into a empty net.
On loan striker Leroy Lita and Derby's Jordan Stewart audition for Grease.
This Norwich team baffles me. When I look at the line-up I genuinely believe this is the best squad we have had for years. Even with key players like Stefanovic and Kennedy missing and the recall of Jonathon Grounds to Middlesbrough affecting the defence, we should still have taken the points today. Hardly the expected result for a team with Leroy Lita and Antoine Sibierski up front eh? And WTF is the Henville-Archibald situation all about? Roeder has called the kid 'raw' but at least he is a tall CENTER BACK. If the lad sucks enough to not get a chance when the four center backs in front of him are out of the picture, then he should not be here. Waste of wages and his time.
Jon Otesmobor is stretchered off at Carrow road today...last thing we need is another missing defender, John Kennedy and Gary Doherty are crocked, Dejan Stefanovic is banned and just this week Middlesbrough re-called laonee Jonathon Grounds as they struggle with injuries.
Roeder also left play-maker Wes Hoolahan out of the team today in a move that I can only think was designed to send the player a message after several sub-par performances. Something has to change for the better and soon. Our biggest demon right now is finding the net. Cureton and Lupoli were struggling so Sibierski arrived to help them out. Now Lita, and STILL we cant score from open play. if you told me at last year that we would have a front four of Sibierski, Lita, Lupoli and Cureton I would have told you to F@$* right off.
The situation at Norwich is extremely depressing and now we have a two week international break to spend pondering our dubious position, fourth from bottom. We need to get on a run and start finding the net soon or we will find ourselves in another relegation battle. No need to panic just yet though, the play-off spots are only five points away, but they were last season too... and we didn't secure safety until the penultimate game of the season.
Norwich City have scored just 8 goals this season
Click here for the latest table.
-Bigus.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Colaship Round Up - Destroyed Weekend Edition.
Kim Jong-ChILLin'
Even dead men love football! The Best Propaganda Team on the Internet is reporting that North Korea's Dear Leader (his words, not mine) has ended his month of seclusion to enjoy a spot o' footie in Pyongyang.
North Korean media says Kim made his appearance at the derby match between Kim Il-Sung University, which was celebrating its 60th anniversary, and Pyongyang University of Railways. (Spoiler alert: the school named for Kim's father, the "Great Leader" and very much dead "Eternal President" of the DPRK, beat the trainboys, 4-1.)
Announcement! Write-a-caption contest for the above photo. Winner gets a first edition UF t-shirt.
I'll go first: "Dammit, sitting with the visiting support again. Oh well, I'll have them liquidated at the half."
Weekend Open Thread
I hope you have figured it out by now. There are games going on this weekend. Come here to talk about them.
Selected schedule, at your author's whim, after the jump (EDT, unless I screwed up the maths)
Saturday
10.00 Sunderland-Arsenal
10.00 West Brom-Fulham
10.00 Wigan-Middlesbrough
10.00 Norwich-Derby
10.00 Aberdeen-Hibs
10.00 Celtic-Hamilton Accies
12.30 Blackburn-Manchester United
4.00 Barcelona-Atletico Madrid
Sunday
8.00 St. Pauli-Alemania Aachen
8.30 West Ham-S.F. Bolton
9.00 St. Mirren-Rangers
10.00 Spartak London-Aston Villa
10.00 Manchester City-Liverpool
10.00 Portsmouth-Stoke City
10.00 Tottenham-Hull
11.00 Everton-Newcastle
3.00 Nancy-PSG
Friday, October 3, 2008
Friday Backpasses: I've had a few
. . . So I might not make any sense. Also, my son kicked the V button off of my laptop, so this could be a pain.
Federation Soccer hosted a roundtable, and your author answered for UF. I pissed one guy off, but we'll get to that later [Federation Soccer]
Dirty things going on with owner of Israeli club Beitar and, as wikipedia tells me, Portsmouth [AP]
Spanish player signs contract to play for nothing [BBC]
And, finally:
Real Madrid wants Agger. Resident Scousers pissed (in the American way, not the British) [Soccernet]
------------------------------------------
In other news, we're thinking up some shirt ideas, so if you have one, let us know. We promise absolutely nothing in royalties.
Nice To Meet You Too!
And all the world was blue...
To think we were all ready to downgrade the Newcastle story to Soap Opera status! You had current owner Mike Ashley getting photographed on a wicked NYC bender as the club was falling to pieces back home yawn... There was that poignant notice from post-bender Mr. Ashley about how he was going to sell the club to the first group to meet his price bo-ring!... Then some story about a Nigerian group swooping in to meet that offer (now I know where all my cabfare's been going!), but alas snoooze...
Then came along Gentleman Joe Kinnear. An Irish Spurs man as player (well he's still Irish), Kinnear had not spent a week as interim manager at St. James Park before providing the what really might be the greatest off-day press conference in the history of modern sport.
Hop the jump for the transcript. And remember, Kinnear will not actually manage a match until October 20. Seems the FA hit him with a two-game ban four years ago when he was managing Nottingham Forest. Gentleman Joe had been reported for calling a referee "Coco the Clown" during one of his last matches at the City Ground.
And did I mention he referred to Newcastle "star" Geremi as "Jeremiah" just after taking his new job.
Also, the beebs has the actual audio, though I'd recommend the Guardian edition-- Kinnear v. The Press as recited by Computers.
Ok. Here Goes. Personal favorites in bold! (I'm happy for you cos you get to read this right now.) Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?
Simon Bird: Me.JK: You're a cunt.
SB: Thank you.JK: Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] fucked off.
SB: No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?JK: I've fucking read it, I've read it.
SB: It doesn't say that. Have you read it?JK: You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.
SB: Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.JK: Fuck off. Fuck off. It's your last fucking chance.
SB: You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.JK: What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?
SB: I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.JK: You are negative bastards, the pair of you.
SB: So if I get a new job next week would I take the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?JK: It is none of your fucking business. What the fuck are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a fucking manager. Fucking day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have to listen to you?
SB: No, you can listen to who you want.JK: I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire staff.
SB: Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.JK: No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had some other things to do.
SB: What? More important things?JK: What are you? My personal secretary? Fuck off.
SB: You could have done the meeting Saturday night or Sunday. You could have had them watching videos, you could have organised them.JK: I was meeting the fucking chairman the owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
SB: It is a valid point that was made in there. A valid point.JK: I can't trust any of you.
Niall Hickman: Joe, no one could believe that on your first day at your new club, the first-team players were not in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the office.JK: My first day was with the coaches. I made the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of them.
NH: But why Monday, no one could believe it?JK I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't understand where you are coming from. You are delighted that Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are? Delighted, are you?
NH: Certainly not. No one wants to see them get beaten, why would we?JK: I have done it before. It is going to my fucking lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not fucking about. I don't talk to fucking anybody. It is raking up stories. You are fucking so fucking slimy you are raking up players that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking Warren Barton? No. Because he is fucking sensible. Anyone who had played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find some cunt that ...
Random journalist-like onlooker: How long is your contract for Joe?JK: None of your business.
Simon Bird (He's back. Love this guy...): Well it is actually, because we cover the club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say six to eight games which would take it to the end of November. We are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a dead simple question. And you don't know ...JK: I was told the length of contract. Then I was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else. But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to fucking hide, he's trying to do this or that.
Here follows some meandering talk about actual football operations.
Back to the good stuff. Enter stage left: the worst press officer ever.
Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun): We are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk about football, but coming in here and calling people cunts?JK: Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not accepting that. If it is libelous, it is going to where I want it to go.
Newcastle Press Officer: What has been said in here is off the record and doesn't go outside. hahahahahahaaaa ahahahaha. Doesn't work that way big fella
Someone: Well, is that what Joe thinks?JK: Write what you like. Makes no difference to me. Don't affect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy [Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone else can do it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and speak to them and the rest can fuck off. I ain't coming up here to have the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has been written about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you, most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just doesn't stop.
Someone: It's only been a week.JK: Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Someone: It's early days for you to be like this.JK: No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Someone: But this isn't going to do you or us any good.JK: I'll speak to the supporters. (This is like Sarah Palin saying she'd rather speak "directly to the American people." It's code for "fuck you reporters, no more interviews!"0 I'm going to tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last week said to me ... I was talking about in that press conference where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load of bollocks ..."
Someone: "Bollocks to that" is what you said.JK: Bollocks to that. And what goes after that?
Journalist: That was it.JK: No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist: I don't know.JK: It even had the cheek to say "bollocks to Newcastle".
Journalist: I didn't write that.JK: That was my first fucking day. What does that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist: Where was that? Which paper said that?JK: I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist: But you didn't say that to the Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press conference.JK: I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why would I want to say that?
Journalist: Are you saying that someone has reported you saying "bollocks to Newcastle?"JK: Yes. Lovely.
Journalist: I don't know who's reported that.JK: I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist: That's obviously going to damage you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.JK: So have I. But I haven't come in here for you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the month for you, it don't fucking bother me. I've got a job to do. And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm not going to spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap. Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.
Journalist: You know, you know the game ... JK: Of course I know, but I don't have to like it.
Journalist: Today we'll print the absolute truth, that you think we're cunts, we can all fuck off and we're slimy. Is that fair enough?JK: Do it. Fine. Fucking print it. Am I going to worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you. Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Again, there's some actual football talk now to interrupt the fun.
Idiot Press officer: Let's get on to football. Let's have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.
Journalist: But that's what Joe has said he thinks of us.
IPO: I'm saying don't push it. Let's accept what's been said and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press conferences?
IPO: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference only?
(Silence)
Now go towel off. That was a lot for one sitting.
The triumphant return of the slightly-soiled UF Score Predictions Generator, EPL model
Due to some technical difficulties with the hardware (and the lingering malcontent of ex-Newcastle manager Kelvin Koogan loitering about), we shut down the UF Score Predictions Generator for a while, but, thanks to the unexpected surprise that was Koogan's wiring and welding skills, it appears to be fixed.
Thus, we can generate scores again, and marvel at just how wrong we are. Of course, in true UF fashion, we will hide the team names from the scores, so we can take all the glory if even a single one is correct.
I blame Koogan, but then again, who hasn't lately? One thing's for certain: if you see a comfortable home win anywhere in our predictions, it's probably Newcastle on the wrong end of it this weekend.
Take it away, UFSPG, EPL model!
1-1
2-3
4-1
0-0
0-2
3-1
1-1
0-1
5-1
1-0
There. Let's hope you're not betting on any of these.
I'm the 'new Zidane'... No I am!
Ok... Bigus was reading the footy news this morning and he came across this little nugget:
Chelsea are trying to sign French midfielder Sofiane Feghouli, 18, who has been dubbed the new Zinedine Zidane. (Daily Mirror)Hang about...I thought Chelsea already signed the 'new Zidane' when they nabbed 12 year old French schoolboy Jeremy Boga just two days ago. HE must be the 'new Zidane' surely. I mean, It says so here.
How many 'new Zidane's' are there exactly?
Well there's this one, Samir Nasri of Arsenal. He was dubbed the 'new Zidane' a year or so ago.
There is also this one. Bruno Cheyrou. Remember him Liverpool fans? Probably not. He was more Marco Boogers than Zinedine Zidane.
There is also this one, Yoann Gourcuff at Milan. This one, Adel Taarabt at Spurs and this one, Sebastian Giovinco at Juventus. Then there this one ALREADY at Chelsea. I'd say that Deco is more 'Deco' than Zidane but there you go.
There is also this one, Jeremy Menez and this one, nothing like giving a 7-year-old a modest target to aim for, eh?
I could be here all day. There are no less than 22 more I could link to. People are certainly not very careful when slinging around the name of soccer greatness. One who CAN claim to be the 'new Zidane' is this chap below, Mohammed Zidane...
The Egyptian Zidane - For more funny videos, click here
It's unlikely that this Zidane will become the old Zidane, inspiring claims of a 'new Zidane' leading to us all forgetting the oldest Zidane (Ronaldo anyone?) but at 22 he has probably got a shot!
I wonder how his headbutt is?
Right I'm off to see if I can find the 'new' Paul Gascoigne. Bigus likes any excuse to visit the pub.
-Bigus
Read more on "I'm the 'new Zidane'... No I am!"...
Skydiving and Sports Don't Mix
Call me sane, but, although intrigued, I have never seriously entertained the notion of skydiving. Unless the plane is going down or I'm invading England, there is absolutely no good reason to jump out of a plane 10,000 meters above the earth. According to one web site, the number of skydiving fatalities since 2004 is 302. In addition to the potential for dying, there is also the potential for idiocy, as these fellows can attest. Unfortunately, yesterday in France we saw a bit of both.
Last night, the French Under-18 international side faced off against the Ukrainian Under-18 squad at Saint-Denis-de-L'Hotel stadium near Orleans. The friendly was to be opened by 7 parachutists streaming into the stadium, with 1 of those, Sylvain Chabrol, delivering the match ball. Chabrol's parachute malfunctioned however, and he crashed into one of the stadium's floodlights and then fell into the crowd. Landing on top of two teenage boys who were spectators in the crowd, Chabrol was killed instantly, and the older of the two boys died later at the hospital in Orleans.
So clearly we have the fatal aspect of skydiving, but we also have the idiotic aspect. I mean really? Given the uncertain nature of the sport itself, is it worth it to have seven people parachuting into a (relatively small) stadium for a friendly between Under-18 sides? This is not the World Cup finals. It's not even the Loiret District (where the match took place) championship. I know that this is an international match, but it is one that is almost entirely insignificant other than for those playing in it. And believe me, I am sure that the players and their families/friends/supporters would have enjoyed the match all the same (well, obviously, much more given what happened) without the theatrics.
Now, I want to be clear here - I am not calling Chabrol an idiot. And the 17 year-old victim is clearly blameless. But someone made the decision to greenlight this spectacle, and now 2 people are dead because of that decision.
The Federation Francaise de Football has issued a statement of support for the family members of both victims and offered their condolences. In addition, there will be no matches played at all in the Loiret District this weekend. Finally, there will be one minute of silence at the beginning of the next round of matches in the Coupe de France.
It all seems a little hollow for a stupid accident that never should have happened.
Deja Vu
So we are 6 games into the new season and Spurs' expensive new signings are stinking up the Premiership, Derby County-style. The stench is so bad that English newspapers have started to suggest that the manager is soon to be canned, and not only that! They have even linked a manager to the position who works for another club. Sound familiar?
As Sarah Palin would say... "You betcha!"
Let's go back exactly 12 months. Martin Jol was having a nightmare and the vultures were circling. Daniel Levy denied that he was interested in replacing Jol with one Juande Ramos. The papers knew what was going on, hell, Jol knew what was going on.
It's a good job that Ramos doesn't speak English as he is shortly to find out that he is no se necesita mas nada, that's surplus to requirements to most of us. So who does Levy have lined up? Maybe one Mark Hughes.
But wait... "Hell NO!" shout Spurs.
This morning they issued the following statement on the official Tottenham Hotspur website: The Club largely refrains from making statements of this nature unless absolutely necessary in order to set the record straight in light of wholly inaccurate reporting.An article on the back page of this morning's Sun newspaper reports that the Club has made an offer to Mark Hughes to take over as manager during the forthcoming international break.This story is completely untrue and without foundation and the matter is being discussed with the publication.
Ok. Done deal. Naughty papers stirring the pot. Bad bad press. Don't trust them, lets move on...
Oh, hang on, no, lets zoom back in time... what's this I find from Aug 24th last year? Daniel Levy finally offered Martin Jol his "100% support" yesterday but no sooner had he done so than his club, Tottenham Hotspur, were forced into another denial about an alleged rendezvous with a prospective new manager - this time, the former Real Madrid coach, Fabio Capello.
Levy has endured a torrid time since a delegation from his board of directors was caught meeting with Juande Ramos, the Sevilla manager, in Seville. Ramos said Tottenham had made him a "dizzying" offer to replace Jol, a statement of fact that Tottenham contest.
We have received a couple of calls about top managers but they have been told politely but in no uncertain terms that we are not about to change our manager," said a club spokesman.
Uh oh.. Get packing Juande. You know the drill. In fact, you devised the drill!
Now what can we learn from last years "situation"?
Well. Capello was mentioned and who knows, probably approached. Hughes may not want to leave Man City for Spurs, even if his new mega-rich employers try to push him as they look for an experienced 'top name' to spend their gazillions, but there is no smoke without fire. Hughes is merely last year's Capello.
One thing is for sure...No statement from Spurs can EVER be believed.
Spurs have spent plenty of cash and the fans honestly deserve better football. After all, Spurs are supposed to be a footballing side. The obvious difference between Ramos and Jol appears to be knowing where players belong. Jol did and Ramos doesn't.
When your manager buys one of the best right backs in the world (Corluka) and then states he may want to play him in central defence, the alarm bells should be ringing loudly. And what's with no English? Capello, Scolari, Mourinho, Benitez, Wenger, Fergusson (kidding) all learned the language necessary to to the job in hand. How can you bring success to a Premiership club when you cannot even be bothered to accelerate your learning to the point that you can communicate with your players without an interpreter?
Spurs need a manger who can take them seriously and the sooner they admit they are looking, send Ramos home and replace him, the better for all involved, especially the fans who have been teased constantly for years. Under Jol they were a decent Lasagna away from the Champions League and with Ramos they were given false hope with the league cup win over Chelsea during his honeymoon period. Today, they are in the worst position they have been in for over 50 years.
Juande (sorry) they may look back and sigh, but today, Spurs need to act and FAST. Last time I looked they were bottom and no one seems to be emulating Derby's disgraceful effort this year. Expect of course... Spurs.
-Bigus.
Your Favorite Soccer Sites
EPL Talk has a post asking its readers to list their favorite soccer websites...which is a really cool idea. We have our expanding blog roll over on the right, but we are always looking for new places to get soccer news and opinion.
So have at it...show us your's and maybe we'll show you ours. Our favorite blogs, we are not a bunch of Chris Cooley bloggers.
Posts
