Kaka story was complete caca

Alright, so we were wrong about Kaka. No deal is close to being finalized, but the Guardian is normally good for this sort of thing so we thought it must be happening!

However, as a blog, I feel comfortable behind the veil of hyperbole and anonymity, since we're not winning a Pulitzer anytime soon.

If anything, the potential deal that would send the mercurial Brazilian to Stamford Bridge has become more absurd since Friday's revelation. Rumours abound that the Blues are offering well over 150 million Euros now, and they're not the sort of club to be taken lightly. Abramovich has shown in the past that he'll spend however much it takes to acquire the toys he covets most, as was shown when they smashed transfer records to get hold of Andrei Shevchenko.

Roman has two things going for him, in an age when owners are getting increasingly skittish about transfer prices: he's got the cash, and he's got the moxie to keep bidding higher and higher until the other team has no alternative but to sell. Rafa Benitez is struggling with his overlords in trying to get the money for Gareth fucking Barry, and Arsenal are selling everyone in sight.

Such a transfer would not bode well for the league, and I'm not talking about their EPL title chances. Moreso, it's just another nail in the coffin for football in general. The chasm between the newly-promoted and the old guard is wider than ever, and there's simply no way for the Hull Cities and West Broms of the world to compete with a 100 million Euro signing, no matter how many bit players they lure across from other teams' reserve XIs.

Yes yes yes, I realize I'm lamenting like the old man afraid of change, but even so: is anyone worth 100 million Euros? That's some crazy money!

After the jump, a video that shows Kaka's genius on the pitch, along with some delightful non-sequitur videos that have the word "money" in them.

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An Education in the way of Hucks.

Earlier this week several posters on here responded to my blurb indicating that they had not heard of my favourite Norwich City player Darren Huckerby. It's been a sad week for me to see such a hero let go. New manager Glenn Roeder released him as part of his process of rebuilding the team to make it his. Anyway to keep it short, for those of you in the dark, let me turn on the light. Someone with lots of time on his/her hands popped this up on youtbe......

-Bigus

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Looking once more at the Gazza story

The story about Gascoigne being sectioned yesterday was incredibly sad to me, as it represented the lowest in a history of post-glory lows for one of my favourite all-time players. Some might blithely compare him to Maradona, except Gazza was big on the food and drink, less on the cocaine.

He represented the iconic image of a grim 1980s industrialist England, where beer bellies ballooned and a lingering depression held sway. Gazza was the bright spot for a nation, serving up memorable moment after memorable moment in an England shirt while single-handedly fueling the press with his drinking and off-field exploits. Towing the line between flawed and talented, Paul Gascoigne was England.

Now, he's in a mental hospital at age 40, and we are left to wonder how much more Gazza we will get.

My earliest memories of his playing career were when he moved to Spurs in before the 1988-89 season, apparently rejecting a move to Manchester United because Spurs bought a house for his struggling family [the claim was made in Fergie's 1999 autobiography].

He scored some cracking goals while at White Hart Lane, and worked well in a team with fellow England players Gary Mabbutt and Gary Lineker. In 1991, Spurs won the FA Cup [their last major trophy win] with Gazza scoring a phenomenal goal in the semi-final against Arsenal.

In the final, just weeks before a transfer to Lazio, he tore his cruciate ligaments in a tackle [the picture above, where he pretty much detached Nottingham Forest's Gary Charles from his left leg], and watched his club win the cup from a hospital bed.

Lazio came and went with little fuss, before a move to Rangers in '95 where he caused all sorts of headlines:

- he booked a referee during a game against Hibs... the ref dropped his yellow card and Gazza mimicked a booking when giving it back, and the ref immediately booked him for the display
- a memorable hat-trick against Aberdeen in 1995 to clinch the Scottish title
- winning the Player's Player of the Year and Football Writer's Player of the Year in 1996/97

Most notably for the 'Gers, he was targeted by the IRA for his flute celebration during an Old Firm Derby in January '98. The flute playing was a reference to the flute-playing of Orange Order marches, a prominent Protestant organization in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Celtic, the Catholic team of Glasgow, was royally pissed off, but it was the IRA that took the most notice, issuing death threats against Gazza that would plague him until he left the team.

The rest of his club playing and managerial career was sad, shortened by a number of injuries and addictions that led to him retiring in 2004 after trying to revive his career with Everton, Burnley, a trial at DC United, Chinese club Gansu Tianma, Boston United and a trial at Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Iconic club achievements aside, his time wearing the Three Lions was legendary.

Who could forget the tears against West Germany in the Italia '90 semi-final?

Or the goal against Scotland in Euro '96?

In short, Gazza was all of us, at one time or another. Capable of the highest highs and the dizzying lows, his career has seen it all. From the fake breasts to the infamous dentist's chair incident and subsequent celebration, Paul Gascoigne's memory and personality are embedded in the national psyche.

Let's hope this latest incident with his mental health is a turning point, and not the opening lines of his obituary.

The Best of Gazza:

More articles:
Simon Barnes on Gazza [The Times Online]
The Life and Times of Paul Gascoigne [The Telegraph]
50 Great Moments in the Life of Paul Gascoigne [Blue Kipper]

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