South America and the Neverending Quest for Crazy

Okay, this is a week old but we've been largely consumed with the Confederations Cup. However, when it comes to South America and crazy there is no such thing as shelf life.

And the Argies are making a nice push to take the crown of crazy from its current holders in Peru.

You might remember when we told you about how rival gangs broke into mini-riot mode when their busses passed each other on the way to their respective matches. That totally makes sense. You see your enemy you attack them. It's Pavlovian, or Skinnerian. Whichever means you can't help yourself.

Well it seems waiting around for an adversary is now asking too much for Argentine soccer fans.

Argentina's chronic soccer violence flared up again on Sunday when fans of title favourites Huracan clashed and left two dead and two badly injured, hospital sources said on Monday.

Nothing out of the ordinary there.... Until we reach the next sentence:

Fighting among rival factions of fans of the same team began at halftime in their 3-0 home win over Arsenal and, with many brandishing guns and knives, worsened in the streets around the stadium in Parque Patricios after the match.

Rival factions of the same team? Jesus what is wrong with you people? I mean I once got in an argument with a guy over who was a bigger Replacements fan, and it ended in shots. But they were shots of tequila not lead.

We don't want to make too much light as there were two fatalities, but really, upping the ante on crazy in South America shouldn't veer into bloodsport territory. According to the manager of the hospital where the wounded were taken, the fighting continued all the way to the hospital where staff was heard gunshots.

Jesus people, the way you like to fight you think you might have done a better job defending the Falklands.

Perú's response? Some tepid petty thievery.

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False Analogies in Iran

Just to take a slight detour toward the serious, I've been watching news coverage of the post-election clashes in Iran, and all I can say is that sometimes reform is very, very difficult. I'm also thankful that I live in a country where we can bring about change without having to take to the streets.

Find out what this has to do with football after the hop.

The latest news from the NY Times is that Ahmadinejad was on television and compared the Iranian post-election protests to soccer riots:

“There will be rule of law in this country and all the people are equal before the law,” [Ahmadinejad] said. In a soccer match, he continued, “People may become excited and there may be confrontation between people and the police force. People who violate traffic violations will be fined by the police no matter who he is.”

What an interesting way to downplay the fact that you stole an election, huh? Although we take our football very seriously here, this analogy is completely off base. On the one hand, you have people fighting for freedom and democracy. On the other hand, you have a bunch of yobbos looking for an excuse to punch, kick and throw rocks. So, we will have to once again respectfully agree to disagree with "President" Ahmadinejad.

(photo: BBC)

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South American Soccer is Crazy, Pt. 2,109,111

Yep, it's their real logo. Honest.

It's Argentina's turn, thanks to some feisty barras bravas who'd had enough of the recent turmoil and leadership shake-ups at Newell's Old Boys, one of the country's most popular clubs.

It appears that their own fans had endured enough, and decided to vent in the best way possible: an old-fashioned riot!

From Reuters via The Guardian:

The gang, numbering around 30 and armed with guns and baseball bats, were believed to belong to a faction of the Rosario-based club's own supporters, officials added. Twenty-one people were arrested.

Newell's treasurer Jorge Ricobelli told local media that the gang burst into administrative officers at the club's Parque Independencia stadium where new members were enrolling.

They then moved on to the barbecue area and a covered gymnasium, forcing members to leave, vandalising property and firing shots at a tree and a water tank, reports said.

Man, imagine if this happened across the EPL. There are plenty of clubs that could benefit from some vandalism and trespassing. Here's looking at you, Liverpool, Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, Newcastle United, Portsmouth, and West Ham.

The old tactics of marching before kick-off, or staying in the stands after full-time to chant and wave banners just aren't cutting it anymore. No, if fans want their voice heard, you need to invade the barbecue area and fire shots at trees.

A valuable lesson from the die-hard fans of Newell's Old Boys.

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South America does it again

The Copa Peru in happier times

Well, I opened my big mouth yesterday and said we'd have more insanity from the South American soccer world before week's end, and it took less than 24 hours to find more!

From the report:

At least 100 people were injured over the weekend when a fight broke out during a Copa Peru match in the southern city of Ayacucho, the official Andina news agency reported.

I really, really love being right.

The whole sorry incident makes sense, I suppose. Towards the end of the Copa Peru match between Sport Huamanga and Sport Huancayo (and by the way, looking at that Wikipedia page will blind you, as it's seemingly the most complicated tournament ever), the Huancayo fans get restless and begin fighting Huamanga's fans until cars get upturned and the police are called in. And of course, it's all the ref's fault:

Referee Alejandro Villanueva called a penalty against the home team with four minutes left, and shoving broke out, the El Comercio newspaper reported on its Web site. The referee halted play for nine minutes, then he allowed the match to resume with four minutes on the clock, prompting fans to start throwing stones and other objects on the field. Fans tore down the security fence and ran on the field, battling police, who fired tear gas at the crowd. A National Police patrol car was set on fire by angry fans outside the stadium.

As insane as the footage looks below, it's just another day in the life of soccer in South America (and don't forget the Polish effort from a couple of months ago).



Perhaps the saddest thing of all about this story, besides the violence of course, is a comment on the YouTube page itself:



Mega sigh. Obviously this guy's never been to any sporting event involving a team from Philadelphia.

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Journey to Bolivian

Sometimes I think I am being too harsh on South American soccer in saying that its supremely messed up on so many levels. But, just when I seem to be turning the corner on my virulent prejudice, South America sends me a signal telling me to stay the course. This time it was in the form of a Bolivian soccer match between Aurora and Wilstermann. WilstermannAurora won a titillating 1-0 affair, but the real excitement came near the end of the match. It's not exactly clear what caused everything to go off the rails, but causation is not my concern right now only the effect, which I might is totally awesome.

Aurora and Wilstermann players exchanged punches after a foul of some sort. Amazingly, the referees were quite nonchalant about this, which leads me to believe insanity like this is as commonplace in South America as it is in my Sunday rec league. A couple of red cards were doled out and then it went to hell in a handbasket.

The story is as old as time itself. One of the red carded players wouldn't leave the field and riot police came on to the pitch to escort him off. Happens all the time. He then resisted which of course made the riot police quite happy. Then his level-headed teammates came over to reason with the officers.

The goalkeeper decided to take on the Teddy Roosevelt role by walking softly and carrying a big stick, literally, he carried the cornerflag stick and started beating the riot police. (See above photo, the corner flag is in the bottom corner and some random fan appears to be holding a piece of a small diameter PVC pipe or something.) Some of his teammates decided on the Eric Cantona method of diplomacy with flying kicks to the police. Seriously.

Somehow, in the midst of this Quentin Tarantino drama, a Greek period piece broke out. Wilstermann players were removing their jerseys to fan a prone person on the pitch. In all, this was about as disjointed as a Spike Lee joint.

There is nothing you could tell me about South American soccer that would surprise me. Maybe next week I will get back thinking my prejudices are not based in fact, but I'm sure by Monday I'll have been proven wrong again.

I have found video of the affair but I am not sure how long it will stay up because it has been removed and reposted already. So, maybe the video after the jump will work, maybe it won't. Let's go to the tape...



The first punches are thrown at about 2:30 and then the Benny Hill show starts at about 5:30.

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It's Witchcraft

Almost certainly not how it happened

Wicked witchcraft. Although, you know, it's strictly taboo, people still try to practice it. But if you try to use witchcraft to coax a good performance out of your team, and that team is in the northeast corner of Democratic Republic of Congo, there will be a riot with deaths. That's just the way of the world.

This time (not that I know of an others, really), witchcraft was practiced by the goalkeeper of Nyuki, who left the penalty area to use "fetishist" spells against his rivals. An on-pitch melee ensued between the teams. A local police commander came onto the field to try to break it up, but was pelted with rocks by the crowd. Other police then fired teargas into the crowd, which caused a rush for the exits. During the mad rush to get out, 11 people were killed, presumably trampled, though the article has no exact information on that.

See? There was no way to prevent this type of escalation once that rogue goalkeeper started doing his goal dance. Every step of the way the response of the people involved was the only logical one that could be taken. Once witchcraft entered the picture, 11 people had to die. I bet they had terraces in there, too.

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, what things would lead to such a riot in England? Sure, there could be a pub brawl, but those usually only lead to one knifing death at a time, such as this one from last week, which took the life of a professional footballer. We're long since out of the days of Hillsborough, now that top-flight stadiums are all-seater and many fans have been priced out of the game anyway.

Could one of Chelsea's patented (and much-copied) circle the ref moves get out of hand? What if Mark Halsey had reacted negatively to being surrounded on Saturday and started handing out more bans? At what point would Chelsea fans have started ripping out seats?

It's fantasy, I know, it wouldn't happen. Chelsea fans don't care enough to riot, they just like it when the team brings home a trophy or two. Anything else just gets in the way of spending money.

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Aussie Rules Rioting

Opening weekend in Australia's A-League was full of excitement, especially the rivalry match between Sydney FC and Melbourne Victory. No goals, but plenty of excitment--from the fans--as supporters brawled in stands. There were no flares or thrown chairs or thrown toilet seats, so it's clear Australia, surprisingly, is in the minor leagues for soccer riots.

I always look for the video on these riots, and I found it on the YouTubes with the title "OMG INSANE SOCCER RIOT CRAZY VIOLENCE MUST L@@K." When it's put that way, I don't see how I could refuse.

Video after the jump.



Right now, I am calling on the Aussies to step up the rioting to levels commensurate with its history as a penal colony for Imperial Britain.

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