Somebody Really Wants to Win 'World's Biggest Dick' Award

Wow, just wow.

So, a United fan in Nigeria is so upset about the Champions League loss he drives his bus into a crowd of celebrating Barcelona fans and kills four of them. Dick.

Jesus, at least upset Arsenal fans are classy enough to only take their own lives.

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The SAFallus!

From our BFF c0rrine (that was us IMing her), this was seen during the Hamburg v. Man City match....

Behold, the SAFallus!

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Ce Ceci n'est pas une ville*

Two weeks ago, we let you know about Villareal backing out of the Motherwell tribute match to Phil O'Donnell, and doing so by email. A little later that night, we passed on some more information, including the rumor that Villareal quit the match because a more lucrative game came up. Well, somewhere along the way, we decided to actually do some research on the matter, and the truth was (all to easily) uncovered.

Initially, the Motherwell-Villareal match was scheduled to take place on August 2. Yesterday, we came across this article, which mentions a Liverpool meeting with Villareal on August July 30. Was this the vaunted "big money match up" that Villareal had craved?

Nope.

Sorry for the suspense, but there has to be some reason for you folk to hit the link.

The Liverpool match is scheduled (for those of you bad at the maths) three days before the previously scheduled Motherwell match. In the pre-season, this amount of time is no reason to cancel a match. So, where to turn next?

Your intrepid reporter decided to brave the waters of the official Villareal website. I have a rudimentary understanding of the {Peggy Hill voice} Es-pa-nole, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Well, la-dee-da, the page loads, and here I see a link offering me an English language version of the site. So I click. Nothing. After I turn Javascript back on (why are football team's sites so reliant on Script?), I get what I'm looking for: August 2; Villareal v. Real Zaragoza in some competition called Trofeo Ciudad de Teruel.

The Teruel City Trophy. What could be more prestigious? And why would Teruel crown either of these non-local squads its champion? Our guess--it's a city looking to make a splash.

According to Wikipedia, Teruel is a city without much of an identity. Sure, it's a Spanish provincial capital, but it's one without much fanfare. It's the Spanish equivalent of Montpelier, Vermont. No one really wants to go there, and a few Spaniards think it's a myth, like Belgium. Seriously, the city's motto translates to "Teruel Exists".

Apparently, the next step, after adopting that wonderful motto back in 1999, is to entice some soccer squads for a pre-season cup. This year's version is the second. Last year featured the same two squads, with Villareal winning on penalties. There's video here.

Yes, Villareal is likely getting a big payday from a city looking to establish an identity. Doesn't make them any more likable, I'm afraid.

*If Google Translate led me wrong, please take it up with them

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Villareal: Kings of the Dick Move

You know what a Dick Move is, right? It's one of those things where someone does something so outlandish and without regard to anyone else's feelings or safety, that you cannot help but to let your jaw drop and say, "Wow, what a Dick Move."

Example 1: June 28, 1997. Mike Tyson, feeling that Evander Holyfield is getting away with headbutts in their boxing match, decides the only way to show his displeasure is to take a chunk out of one of Holyfield's ears.

Example 2: From Urban Dictionary's entry: Tom and Bill were both interested in the same girl at the bar; when Tom falsely insinuated to the girl that Bill had erectile dysfunction, that was a Dick Move.

Example 3: Villareal, scheduled to play a friendly at Motherwell, for a friendly where the main stand would be rededicated to former captain Phil O'Donnell, decide it's not worth the bother and pull out. And they did so by email. Now that's a Dick Move.

For those not in the know, that would be the Phil O'Donnell who collapsed on the pitch last season and died before the night was out. A man whose passing hit many in the SPL hard, including his nephew, who was on the pitch at the time.

So, yes, Villareal are dicks. They are doubly dicks for using email to cancel the match. There are a few things which you absolutely do not do by email. We've collected some of them for you below.

1. Pull out of a meaningful friendly.
2. Write "I'm pregnant and you are the father"
3. Break up with a significant other.
4. Fire someone from their job.

I am sure that we missed some, so feel free to add those in the comments.

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