Ben Buckley must go!

In light of our recent stance-taking on Sunil Gulati's chairmanship of the USA program, I think it is only fair to look at how other countries are doing as well.

Let's start at the front of the alphabet and look for troubles. We'll knock off some who don't matter along the way. So Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria, Andorra, and Armenia are out. Angola has probs, but nothing unusual for African FAs. Argentina? Well, they hired a fat, cocaine-sniffing ex-player for a manager, but at least they get their players. Australia? Oh yeah, this is more like it.

Some kid named Bradden Inman (so obscure he doesn't have a wiki yet) has caused a bit of consternation Down Under because he declared that, if called up, he would gladly choose the soggy Scots over his native Australia. His reasoning should be familiar for those of us that saw what Vedad Ibisevic had to say about playing for America--no one has tried to recruit Inman for Australia.

Inman moved from Australia at 14 to go into the youth system at Newcastle. His initial hope was that playing for the Magpies would help him get into the Australian team, but that appears to be a no go. So, when Scotland called him up for a youth match last month, Inman has happy to put on the dark blues and now says that he would take a call up to the Under 21 squad, which would lock him out of Australia's team forever.

Now, I don't know if Mr. Buckley is the one to blame here. Football Australia, the official FFA site, lists him as the CEO, a position roughly on par with Gulati. If he is indeed the head, then he should bear the blame for failings in scouting and contact. My proposed solution for both Bradley and Gulati is pretty simple. It seems that they could both do much better if they just consulted the "I" in their respective rolodexes. See? Problem solved.

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This week in offensive comments barely connected to football

Hosts of football shows have a long history of making offensive, off-the-cuff comments (anyone remember the Fox Football Fone-In controversy?), and we can now add football reality show presenter Brian McFadden to the mix.

McFadden is a host on the Australian football reality show Football Superstar, a show much like the one in China we reported on UF back in March. The show just finished its first season (don't click that Football Superstar link unless you enjoy spoilers), and McFadden has been doing the rounds on the radio to keep his name out there.

On one such show for New Zealand's More FM, he was responding to a caller who suggested that boys used to wear pink a lot more than girls a few decades ago.

McFadden's response?

"If you are not gay, a man should not be wearing pink. Saying pink is a form of red is the same as saying homosexual is a form of male."

Well then.

And this is coming from a guy who got his start in showbiz as part of a boy band, one of whom was gay?



As expected, there is considerable backlash, and when you think about the kind of mediocre career McFadden's eking out for himself these days, it might even be the end of his run in the media. Loud cries of homophobia abound, but the thing that troubles me is that he's either hypocritical, or extremely lacking in the memory department.

Less than a week ago, the idiot was pictured performing in a concert while wearing pink! It's one thing if his comments come from some hardened, Ted Nugent-esque fortress of imagined moral authority, as at least that opinion can be reasoned with over time (or one would hope), but considering the singer can't even make his own mind up about the color itself, you wonder why on earth he made the comments in the first place!

To play us out today, enjoy the dulcet tones of his former band Westlife's song "Swear It Again", their only song to cross the Atlantic Ocean with any success.

I mean based on his comments, I doubt anything else of him will be coming here any time soon.


[Ed. Note: I realize this is tenuously linked to football, but hey... McFadden does host a footie show]

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Naughty nurses (well, nurses' unions)

(I WISH this story was going along those lines...)

Well, naughty in the sense of embezzling money to fund after-school soccer activities. Then this story warrants such a headline!

From the shore of Australia, we find this wonderful gem:

"NURSES have demanded their union chief resign after the union sponsored his daughter's soccer team with funds from their membership fees.

The NSW Nurses' Association donated $5000 to the Hills District Women's Football Club, which has the Beaumont Hills Lady Hawks in its ranks. One of the team's star strikers is the daughter of Brett Holmes, the association's general secretary.

The sponsorship deal was funded from the Nurse Power Fund - a financial reserve raised through member contributions."

Oops. Now I'm all for parents supporting the extra-curricular activities of their children, but surely this goes a bit too far?

Understandably, the nurses are pissed:

"RPA emergency nurse Cate Cunningham said nurses felt "disillusionment and disgust".

"When we heard at Thursday's branch meeting our fighting fund money was being used to sponsor a women's football team we were speechless. Then on Friday, news filtered through that it was Brett Holmes's daughter's team," she said. "I can't tell you how angry and upset we all are. This has never been reported to members."

Mrs Cunningham said the branch meeting had been held to address the union's willingness to fritter away valuable workplace entitlements in exchange for a "pissant pay increase" of 7.8 per cent over two years.

"We were all sitting there, wondering how on earth our union could have left us in such a mess … then it was casually mentioned a women's football team had been kitted out with cash deducted from our own wages," she said.

The sponsorship was approved at the association's council meeting on November 29. The successful motion read: "The NSWNA contributes $5000 in sponsorship to the Hills District (Female) Football Club for the 2008 year from the Nurse Power Fund."

The message here is simple: don't join unions. That 5-minute addition to your lunchbreak is definitely nice, but it gets ugly when you suddenly find your dues paying for knee-high polyester socks and half-time oranges.

Perhaps the best quote was saved for last, from the guilty party himself, chairman Brett Holmes. When quoted that he was going to defend the $5000 outlay, he had this beauty:

"We have a turnover of $24 million. We can't go to our members about every dollar spent."

Indeed Mr. Holmes, indeed. Good luck with finding a new job... hopefully there's some money to be made in the selling of 2nd-hand football equipment until an HR executive comes-a-knocking.

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Follow Up: Slapping ban for Australian keeper shortened

As all of you undoubtedly remember, back in February Australian keeper Danny Vukovic was banned for 15 months for giving a referee an unwanted high five. The ban was quickly reduced to nine months with a further six months on probation. Unfortunately, the ban was still too long for Vukovic, Australia's starting U-23 keeper, to participate in the Beijing Olympics. Amazingly, common sense has prevailed.

Apparently, the Australian FA allows an infinite number of appeals, somewhat like the US legal system, and a further appeal to an independent committee reduced Vukovic's ban further. Of course, they did not specify the length of the ban now, but I would guess that it ends August 7, 2008. Oddly, the change in bannination does not affect his A-League status further, as Vukovic is still not allowed to play in the domestic competition until October.

It's obvious that someone or group has stepped in and said Vukovic must be available for the Olympics. If I had a guess, I would say that such negotiations have been going on for most of the two months since the ban was announced. Anyway, for those that don't remember, or are new to the site, here is the video of the vicious attack.

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FFA is run by absolute tossers

Remember the Vukovic story from a week ago?

Quick refresh if you don't: Vukovic is an Australian goalie playing in his homeland, and he got himself sent off for slapping a referee after a particularly egregious penalty decision. The Aussie Football Federation [FFA] decided that he was a menace to society, and promptly banned him for 15 months.

Well, his appeal was heard yesterday, and the FFA is determined to come out of this looking like a collective of stiff, reactionary assholes.

After a seven-hour deliberation, during which they probably threw darts at a dartboard for six and spent the other hour working on PR strategies, they reduced his probation from six months to three, but they're still firm on his nine-month ban and they're set on him missing the Olympics.

What a bunch of pricks.

Vukovic was almost a certainty to get a lot of playing time for the Socceroos between the posts, and this was pretty much his last chance to see time representing his country in that competition. You see, the Olympics rules state that any country participating can only use three players over the age of 23, and Vukovic is 22 at the moment, making his chances of future Olympics rather slim.

That's not really a nice way to treat a player who started 14 games of the qualifying campaign, but still, as I mentioned before, the FFA is a collective of stiff, reactionary assholes.

Check the video again, and recap the basic story: he's out of football for almost a year because he slapped a referee's arm.

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Streuth, poor bloke

Vukovic doing what he does best: not slapping referees

In our second slapping story of the day, we see the other end of the spectrum, and even the other side of the world.

Now I'm not entirely clear on how Australia governs itself -- I do know it's the land of lazy swine and the distant progeny of British criminals -- but this story is absolutely hilarious.

Central Coast goalkeeper Danny Vukovic got his slap on this past Sunday, slapping a referee's hand, and has since been disciplined.

The ban? 15 months.

According to the Reuters report, via ESPN Soccernet, the ruling isn't as bad as it sounds, but Mr. Vukovic had better keep his hands well away from the faces of anyone other than himself. Quote the Football Federation of Australia [FFA] in a stern statement:

"The suspension was reduced to nine months with the remaining six months to be served under probation, meaning Vukovic will be eligible to resume playing in the A-League in November.

If Vukovic re-offends in the 12 month period after 24 November 2008, he will be required to serve the remaining six months of his 15 month suspension (in addition to any new sanction)."

The ban currently only extends to games in the Aussie A-League where Vukovic peddles his trade, but they're considering extending it to all games in all competitions, which would of course rule him out for the 2008 Olympic Squad that's traveling to Beijing.

That's where I have a problem. Who do the FFA think they are? Eric Cantona was suspended for only 10 months after his karate kick on a fan in 1996, while it's looking unlikely that Matthew Taylor will receive a massive ban despite the shocking challenge on Edu.

Meanwhile, a gentle slap on a referee, and they're thinking of not only shunning him from the league for a massive nine months, but not let him represent his country?

Whatever they're doing down at the FFA, they're mad. Punishments like this send the wrong message, making Vukovic look like the victim and not the one who caused all this mess in the first place. Meanwhile, it deprives the country and his club, Central Coast, of his services. Does that make the game better? Does everyone feel safer now?

Maybe the FFA will rescind when they realize that Mark Schwarzer's certainly no spring chicken. [boom! Another Middlesbrough reference!]

So here's the video. You tell me if this is worth 15 months.

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