Adriano Gets Separation From His Defender

In Brazilian footballer news not involving nightclubs, surprisingly, Inter Milan's Adriano is facing a 3-game ban for punching Sampdoria defender Daniele Gastaldello in the gut.

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UF Quick Throw: Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

That crashing sound you heard was the end of a relatively quiet transfer market. Sky Sports is reporting that Man City's executives are in Milan to open up talks for Kaka, and 'Arry Redknapp is in discussions on a deal that would bring Adriano to Spurs and Gareth Barry Bale to AC Milan Inter (yeah, yeah... what do you want, accurate reporting?).

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Adriano Escapes Lengthy Ban, Thanks to Zidane and Big Mama

Last time we checked in on Adriano, he was facing a 120- to 540-day ban, which would have lasted the remainder of his loan spell at Sao Paolo, for head-butting an opponent. The Emperor got a reprieve Monday when a tribunal ruled that he used his head to push, not butt, and handed him a two-match ban.

Adriano's lawyers used the totally awesome Zidane headbutt video in his defense, but you know what really helped? His mama.From the report:

Adriano's mother Rosilda, who raised the former Brazil international in one of Rio de Janeiro's toughest neighbourhoods, appealed to the tribunal members for leniency in a television interview shown before the hearing.

Rosilda also baked cookies for the tribunal and promised that the boy's going to get a whooping tonight when he gets home.

Anyway, here's to all the mamas out there:

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They Told Him to Go to Rehab

Adriano, the formerly imperious striker of Internazionale who found himself dropped from the first team for alleged alcoholism and weight gain, was sent on exile to Sao Paolo at the beginning of the year, after Inter couldn't find any European club to take him off their hands. The idea was, a change of setting would rejuvenate him and he'd be back to his old, goal scoring self.

So much for that. He now faces a possible suspension of up to 18 months after after headbutting Santos defender Domingos.

Guess that praying thing didn't work out so well. I'm sure Taylor Twellman's happy to know there's some having an even shittier 2008 than he is, and Joey Barton's wondering why he can't control his anger better.

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