Ronaldo knows what it's like to fall fast
Football is a crazy game these days. The emotional capital on the line every week is staggering. The modern consumer needs a steady hand to guide the way. Unfortunately, that individual has come to the wrong place. This is an American soccer blog, and like Americans do, we suffer our pain in silence, then go out and gamble with other people's money. (Sub-prime Spurs! Get me every time!)
So without further rabble, we present today the first edition of UF's Market Guide. What to Sell! What to Buy! And Everything in between...
BUY! BUY ! BUY!
...until we freak out on national television and tell you to sell the kids for food.
Buy Portsmouth:
Make fun of Fratton Park all you like, the AC Milan game was magic. That coupled with white-knuckle ride win over Blackburn is just what they needed. Tony Adams has his first win; now he can build. Harry Who? (Caveat Emptor: they may have to sell the first team's shin pads for rent money come January.)
Buy TSG 1899 Hoffenheim:
Another impressive win this weekend. Their American educated, trained, nourished striker Veded Ibisevic, who happens to play his international footie for Bosnia (d'oh!) is a scoring machine. With pedigree that likens them to a sort of German Reading, they could go into the winter break atop the league (Caveat: Like Bayern Munich so many years ago, English Reading will host Norwich City this season.)
Buy Antonio Cassano:
The guy's good on the pitch and (as the intrepid Lingering Bursitis explains) hilarious off it. Like we needed another reason to want to go to Spain...
Buy Emile Heskey:
This is actually a personal message to Redknapp and Levy. Buy him from Wigan in January. Spurs need to someone to link the midfield to their one-touch strikers and Modric isn't reliable enough.
Buy Chelsea fans:
Like Leprechauns, they exist, but are increasingly difficult to find. The Blues supporter is rare and fantastic entertainment. Alternately despondent, reflective, nostalgic (make it Special again!), and whiny (offside!)... and they're in first place still, 'Pool pending.
Buy Maradona:
There is but one inalienable truth in this whole debate. The Argentinian players looooove him. No matter how stupid or perverse he acts (to be fair, he was subdued, naturally it appeared, during the Scotland match) they will continue to love him. And when you've got that quality of athlete, a bit of motivation could be more valuable than all the tactics in the world.
Sell! For Chrissakes, Sell it all! Light it on fire, just be done with it!!
...until next week, when everything bounces back but your checking account. Sawwrry.
Sell Real Madrid:
Bernd Schuster is a loss away from the salida, and losing to Getafe on Saturday surely doesn't help. Also, it looks like Rafa, their top target, is signing a new deal at Anfield, meaning they're fucked royally in their search for someone new. They might end up with Juande Ramos (silence)(crickets)(a distant scream)...
Sell Roy Keane:
sayeth LB, "Really, you're almost done. Bolton embarrassed you at home. Bolton! Unless you unleash the feral rage of your playing days instead of this new zen calm you display on the sidelines, you're looking for a job in January."
Seriously, LB has a great point. I understand that the guy is mellowing with age, but this is ridiculous. It will end badly. Either as described above, or with a training pitch assault/Joe Kinnear-inspired presser. The prawns are cooked, Roy, just need to toast the bread now...
Sell Paul Ince:
LB: "You should have stayed at MK Dons." Paul Ince: "I should have stayed at MK Dons."
Sell "6+5":
Is it entirely Evil? No. Does it have a chance of happening? No. Platini needs to read up on globalization, etc. Protectionist policies, especially when there are high-end elements of money and nationalism involved, just don't kick it in the modern world. If the American auto industry can die, French league football can suck a bit more. (no offense, NYK)
Sell American soccer's ability to pick up on home grown talent:
And to Bosnia, no less. Both Vebad Ibisevic (from Hoffenheim, see above) and Neven Subotic could have been USMNT fixtures for the next decade if the infrastructure in this country wasn't so convoluted. It's not like Ibisevic played college ball here. And I guess Subotic would've had to sit behind Onyewu anyway... Ugh...
Wait! Hold Still! Do Nothing! Freeze Up! We're confounded...
Arsenal:
Beating Man U and Chelsea still doesn't make them solid gold yet. They still had an awful month for the most part. They are lacking in depth, the Gallas situation, injuries, etc... etc...
Capello's England:
"Well Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Dicks Quite Yet." The Wolf had this one scouted out... I'm just saying. The Sun (not the paper) remains at the center of the universe and David Beckham didn't fall of the edge of the world, he just agreed to play for the Alexi Lalas-led L.A. Galaxy. England will probably fuck this up. So hold tight to your positions.
This Concept!
It's looking pretty good right now, but we've missed out on so much. Go to the comments section and add your own "tips" or do it to us on email and maybe they'll make the site for next week. Until then... Be Champions!
Monday, December 1, 2008
UF Introduces: Market Madness!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Manchester? No..Wait... What?
Robinho may have signed as number '10' but he doesn't appear to know where...
During his first interview after a record breaking 32 million quid transfer from Real Madrid, the temperamental Brazilian looked back at the deadline day craziness that brought him to Man City and stated that it was "a great proposal" that led him to join "Chelsea!"
A Freudian slip?
So just why did Robinho join Manchester City instead of Chelsea? Could it be that City's new owners, the consortium known as Abu Dhabi United, offered him 160,000 pounds a week? Yep you read that right.
I'll repeat it for effect in a different currency... 300,000 US dollars a week. Hot diggity dog! That's a nice payday. In fact that makes him the TOP earner in the Premier League.
So was the mention of Chelsea just a slip or did he really want to join the Blues?
He says that he really did, but...because "it was the only club to have made a formal offer". Robinho's mother, Marina De-Souza, thinks that her son was genuinely confused as to his destination on Monday night..."I don't think that Robinho even knew what was happening but if it's best for him, then so be it - I just hope he is happy in England."-
I guess money talks and Robinho walks. As for Chelsea, it appears that the Robinho shirt fiasco WAS a key issue in Real's determination to deal with City instead of them. Robinho himself noted its importance today as he arrived in Brazil to train ahead of this weekends World Cup qualifiers with Chile and Bolivia:"Real did not like Chelsea shirts with my name on being sold before sorting out the negotiations."
Ironically Chelsea fans will get a glimpse at what they might be missing as Robinho is set to make his Premiership debut for Man City against Roman's Blues on Sept 13th.
During today's press call with Brazil, Robinho also addressed the criticism he has received from legend Pele over leaving Real Madrid, apparently, for "financial reasons". Robinho responded: "I think that only someone who suffered as I suffered in Real Madrid may have something to say on this."
If being used as a make-weight in a deal that would see you sent to Old Trafford (Robinho was offered as part of a deal to send Ronaldo to Madrid) to earn a fortune as a Manchester United player is suffering, then I would love to hear his definition of joy.
This is "suffering"... this too!
OK, so Man City fans have ordered their new shirts and Robinho has opened his NatWest account ..I'll sign off for today with a look at what the City of Manchester can expect to see from Robinho over the coming months...
WOWSER...
-Bigus.
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