Consider Portsmouth. In the last five days, Pompey have played 180 minutes of soccer. In that time, they have given up 10 goals without registering one for themselves. A 6-0 weekend loss at Manchester City had been followed by a 4-0 loss at home to Chelsea. The team is stuttering worse than a non-Fox News Palin interview.
Where does the blame lie? Can we put it on Nacho Pete and the rest (save Defoe) of the team that refuses to score? Is it because David James decided he really likes being nicknamed "Calamity"? Or is 'Arry not a good manager when unable to nick personal funds off of backroom deal with agents? Finally, is this just a bad week, or is this something that will continue? Well, it won't this weekend at least. Portsmouth play Tottenham. Three easy points there.
Your input, and/or appropriate snark, is greatly appreciated.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Whudafxup with Portsmouth' s week?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Whudafxup? Liverpool Edition
Two cunts and an Englishman in scarves
Alright folks, let's get this massacre out of the way today, in the wake of the alarming success/flame wars of the Arsenal edition.
It's no secret: my team is a fucking mess. Shambles. Trophyless again this year, coming so close to a CL final [only to be cruelly humiliated at Stamford Bridge, a cathedral of banality), and finishing fourth yet again. They don't make drugs or intoxicants potent enough to forget this fact.
We do have a shining Spanish star in Fernando Torres, who should give us the best years of his career, as well as our inconsistent but powerful talisman, Steven Gerrard. Outside of those two? We have precious little else.
The constant lineup tinkering and formation changing has led to mediocre seasons from a lot of players from whom big things were expected: Kuyt's heading into the summer as a glorified workhorse winger who can't cross, Pennant's speed always fails him on the final delivery, Babel has been potent but still needs to adjust to the game, and Xabi Alonso simply hasn't come back well from his early-season injuries.
The loss of Daniel Agger [fucking metatarsal injuries] proved to be a monumental hindrance and forced us to rely on an aging Hyppia at the back, far more than we would have hoped. Skrtel has acquitted himself admirably, but he's no Agger.
Add to that the Crouch fiasco; a great striker who scores goals whenever he plays, but he never ever gets the chance and is likely heading off in the summer to a team that will use him properly. I worry that the final nail in the coffin came last Wednesday, when a bereft-of-ideas Rafa used Pennant, Kuyt and Benayoun without even giving Peter a sniff of the pitch when we needed inspiration the most. I pray that he doesn't leave, but I'd be amazed if he puts up with the humiliation.
And then we come to the boardroom. What a fucking nightmare. Hicks and Gillett sparring at every opportunity, Rick Parry being threatened with the sack, and a bunch of Dubai moneymen with itchy trigger fingers aching to get their hands on the seat of power at Anfield. Benitez was royally usurped when the Klinsmann talks came to light, and it all adds up to a massive ship without any kind of rudder or stabilizing force.
So, long intro aside.... what the fuck do they do to clean it all up? Where should the rot be stopped first? Biggest transfer needs? Biggest wastes of space? New manager? New ownership? Where should they spend their money? Should we burn down the village to save the inhabitants? [I always fuck up that analogy]
Have at it, you filthy savages. Gooner fans, here's your chance to get revenge.
Read more on "Whudafxup? Liverpool Edition"...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Whudafxup? Arsenal Edition
In a new series that I just decided to start, I would like to ask you, the readers, just what the f*ck is going on with some of the biggest clubs and players around the world.
For starters, Arsenal. They're near the top of the alphabet, so they get to be the guinea pigs this time around. Whudafxup with Arsenal? Seriously. Whudafxup? Wenger just let one of his brightest stars from this season, Mathieu Flamini, ponce off to Serie A where he'll enjoy more money and a much more leisurely pace. His midfield wonder, Fabregas, is off the boil a little bit, and they also face the prospect of losing Hleb, another bewitching option in attack. Plus, Adebayor has little to no help up front thanks to the general rubbish play from the Swiss Miss Nicolas Bendtner, and van Persie just can't stay healthy.
There is some off-field entertainment from Mr. Usmanov who's maneuvering in the boardroom to get enough shares so he can launch a formal takeover bid, and there's no guarantee as to how much money the tight-arsed Wenger will splash out on anyone who isn't French or under the age of 19.
In addition, their smarty pants managing director, David Edelman, the man who turned the club into a profit-making machine and was instrumental in their move to the new stadium, has shocked and stunned everyone in the boardroom by saying bye-bye as well.
So, what must be done? What must be fixed first? What is the squad lacking most? How do you feel about being owned by this?
Answers in the comments. This thread is open; fire away.
Posts
