KAHHHHHNNN'T

Well, didn't take long for the Commie overlords to put the kibosh on Oliver Kahn's reality show. Yeah, figured it was too awesome for China. And they want to be a superpower? Wimps.

Okay, it's more of a delay while the country's censors "scrutinize the material."

For those too lazy too click on the first link above: the former keeper uber alles wanted to not do an "empty and meaningless, mindless casting show." So he signed on to "Never Give Up" a reality show where they comb the billion or so Chinese and give the best keeper they can find a stint at the German FA's training camp.

Now we're all stuck waiting for some the g-men to make sure it'd be copacetic with the corpse of Mao.

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Oliver Kahn to Scare One Billion People

Chinese television producers are aiming to give kids in their country nightmares for decades to come a shot at being Beijing's Next Top Keeper.

Former three-time World's Best Goalkeeper winner and German legend Oliver Kahn will host a reality show in China aiming to find the country's next Number 1. And he's treating it as serious business.

"We don't want to do an empty and meaningless, mindless casting show," he said, without mentioning Heidi Klum, who hosts model search shows in Germany and the US. "And I don't want to be the one who 'talks big' and disses or offends the young candidates when they don't succeed."

Yeah take that Heidi. You might be pretty and all but you are empty.

The 10-part series will be about more than just goalkeeping though as Kahn aims to give the Chinese a "road map to success." Hopefully there will be lessons on how to look intimidating before ultimately losing your job to someone taller but less skilled (cough *Jens* cough).

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ü75 Request

Much like TFA yesterday, I need your help with something soccer-related and German. You see, I just found out that the club I barely pull for--Schalke 04--will hire Oliver Khan as their new manager.

Since I cannot stand that man in any fashion, I will have to drop my slight allegiance to the Gelsenkirchen club. Therefore, I need a new Bundesliga club to pull for. A quick substitute would have been St. Pauli, but they will not be making the top flight any time soon. And while we were on the Hoff bandwagon earlier, the wheels have fallen off there.

So I need suggestions. Put 'em in the comments and let's see if we can work this out together.

This has been a ü75 request.

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